and she's going to leave him ? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 04:33 AM
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Re: and she's going to leave him ?

It depends on several factors.

Was the apology genuine and heartfelt?

Or "Sorry, dear! You ARE over your hurt now, right?"

Other factors might be in play here. For example is she still working with OM, following him or associates on social media, etc?

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post #32 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 05:36 AM
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Cool Re: and she's going to leave him ?

I'm not exactly defending the covert sliminess of the WS, nor the often unjustified hurting vengeance of the BS; all that I am saying is simply that if the marriage is anywhere close to "heading south," then do yourself the honor of leaving it well before you facilitate dropping your drawers off in some other man's or woman's cloistered domain!

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post #33 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:43 PM
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Re: and she's going to leave him ?

Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
The both of them are complete idiots getting her pregnant again. That's about the LAST thing they need.
Bbbbbbut won't a baby bring us back together?

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post #34 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:44 PM
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Re: and she's going to leave him ?

Feel bad for the kids.
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post #35 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 02:45 PM
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Re: and she's going to leave him ?

Originally Posted by Satya View Post
Likely he continued to be angry and resentful because he couldn't heal properly. Whether that's because she was not terribly remorseful, trickled the heck out of him, minimized, etc. Or, he could have heard nothing but truth but preferred to put his head in the sand, refuse healing, and just build rage instead.

Problem is we don't know enough detail. But IME angry men unable to let go have not yet fully processed through their emotions, most likely because they don't want to, aren't "allowed" to, or don't know how or where to begin.

So while I agree that he needed to start to let go of his anger with her, if he was going to give R a chance, I also think it's not that cut and dry. I think that a certain series of events would have allowed him to reach a stage of acceptance, and that for whatever reason, it didn't happen.
There’s a good point in there. Acceptance that it happened. At the very core of your being, you want to fight to believe that it just didn’t happen. If I think about my husband going to her house, the overwhelming feelings are TOO MUCH. I have to literally tell myself not to think about it. Get my mind on something else. Find distractions. All that comes flooding in at the same time are “why?” “how could he?” “it’s my fault” “what did they do?” “do I even KNOW him?” and some other very awful, unpleasant things. And good god it hurts. BUT, once I slow down and redirect, it becomes easier to accept that he’s human, accept that he screwed up, accept that he doesn’t deserve to be on the pedestal that I had him on, accept that there’s not one thing that I can do to change it. IT HAPPENED. No amount of worrying, stressing, analyzing thinking or crying will change the fact that it happened. It happened and we both made the decision to try to move forward. Sometimes it’s awful. Sometimes I’m thankful. Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing. But at the heart of it all – all of it HAPPENED and it ain’t going away. I have to try to make peace with that.

I'll get through this, one day at a time.
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post #36 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 06:05 PM
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Re: and she's going to leave him ?

some can forgive and some can't.

and you won't know until your in that position. and you might think you can even want too with all your heart but inside you can't when you come to that realization then its time to pull the plug.

as your going through all this there might be some anger that comes out well I say if the cheater wants to be truly with you then they would be remorseful and eat a fair bit of **** trying to do all they can to rebuild the trust. But even they have a breaking point where they might say ok enough is enough.

remember tears?

thats how one should act after ripping your husbands heart out.
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