Re: What do you consider infidelity?
I think infidelity is any romantic or sexual act where a real, living human being is on the other end and knows you're being flirtatious with them, and your spouse doesn't know about it and/or isn't okay with it. So, in my view, porn doesn't count but webcam girls or sexy texts do. Consensual polyamory and swinging don't count as cheating.
I've actually told my husband that if, down the road, he should ever fall in love or in lust with anyone else, I want him to come and tell me about it before he does anything. I've told him if he does that, I might be hurt, jealous, or emotional, but I won't believe he's done anything wrong. I've told him that in that scenario, I would consider opening up our marriage so he can have his new romance (and so could I, if I wanted) but we'd be able to do it lovingly, honestly, and with the other's full consent.
He said he would never seriously consider cheating on me, so the point is moot. Still, I think if he knows that there's an "out" for him, a way that he can cake-eat without hurting me or our marriage, he's far more likely to be honest with me rather than cheat and/or divorce me.
Last edited by EllaSuaveterre; 04-12-2017 at 07:37 PM.