My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated
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Old 01-04-2012, 01:40 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

I have been married 7 years to a 36 year old man, I am 26. We have no kids just a dog.

I am always very honest and and open book. I have told him that Im worried he doesnt want me that much, becasue durring sex hes fussing about, and turns me down when I try anything. He also never persues me and tends to resechedual sex. I always asked him what wrong and he said he is very satisfied and not a super sexual person etc. so I thought he was just like that until I saw what i saw.

I was going to talk to my mom on skype and my husbands skype was not closed. There was a message he typed that said Hello I met you in a shop in ***** want have sex on the cam. I imeadiately went over to him and asked him what it was and he freaked out and started yelling at me and saying you think I did that? Why do you think that? I was in so much shock that I continued in fear to look for other things and he physically grabbed the computer from me and said I know you! No you can not have the computer I know you! You dont think I did this? It must have been a joke at work (by the way he never talks with his colleagues and has told friends and even me that they never talk) I finaly found a way to get him out of the room and I started looking for other things. One was a very insistant chat with a strange he first asked to turn on the cam, and then after he said ok since you dont have a cam I would like to wank off to your voice. Another one was a random girl that he was like what does a 20 year old girl think of a 35 year old man? And when she said there are no age limits for friends, then he said what about more than friends. All of these chats he was turned down by people not answering etc.

I dont know how I could trust him, he denied everything forever until I pulled it out of him, and all he said was I remember but Its nothing and nothing happend. This all happend durning christmas at his family's hous. He kept pressuring me to act as everything is normal (all the while speaking a different language to his family)

later after I was crying and shaking he said there must be something wrong with him, and it must be the way he is brought up becasue he said he is satisfied sexually in our relationship is happy. and I forgave him, I always do. He thought counseling would be a good idea after i suggested it.

but nothing improved, and he wont tell me anything, instead he just doesnt answer or he blames it on everything like even being bored.

So on new years eve we kissed at 12 he went home becasue he didnt feel like going out (this always happens) and this was my last night with my friend who is going back to her country permanently and I really wanted to have fun and stay out. So I went out and all these guys started hitting on me at this house party, one in particular who was very nice to me and really wanted me, I was drunk and cheated. I dont even remember what he looks like.

I told my husband the next day and he said he sees the big picture and he deserved it and was thankful that I told him. It seems like it doesnt bother him, and its all fine. this makes me worry that he has done worse and or plans on doing worse or simply doesnt care about me I have no idea since he wont tell me!!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp
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Old 01-04-2012, 01:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

Can someone help?
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

It does seem like his response is way off. Does he actually not care?
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

Go to marriage counseling. Start there. You both have issues now.
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

His response doesnt make sence to me either, i dont get how he never will tell me anything
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

sounds like he might be deep in an EA/online affair and won't stop, thus if you go ahead and satisfy yourself he can continue guilt free
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

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Go to marriage counseling. Start there. You both have issues now.
Iplan on going to counseling. I am curious as to what your response would be had I not cheated.
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

bottom line is you have to put this all to a stop, what a shame that you have no ground to stand on but nonetheless it has to be done


basically, you have to let him know- you get the whole truth, complete transparency and true remorse (and you do the same) or else it's over
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Go to marriage counseling. Start there. You both have issues now.

I disagree, it likely won't help unless affairs on both sides are completely over
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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sounds like he might be deep in an EA/online affair and won't stop, thus if you go ahead and satisfy yourself he can continue guilt free
Supposedly they are only random people and only thoes three times, along with nice complaments to female coworkers. He also says that hes not having any kind of affair
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Supposedly they are only random people. He also says that hes not having any kind of affair
well it's either an addiction akin to porn addiction or he's having an EA (get a keylogger to know), either case it has to stop
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:11 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

I agree that if one or both are still in an affair, counseling won't help.

I you had not cheated, you would need to decide on if you want to try and keep him or not. Then go from there.
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:13 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

He has a cyber affair and you physically have intercourse with a stranger. What is wrong with this picture? You realize now that you need to get tested for STD's. Which do you think is worse: Him cheating on you on the internet or you actually screwing a total stranger? This is really sad.
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:14 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

What did he do after he went home? Did he go online or meetup with someone?
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:14 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband cyber cheated, and I revenge cheated

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well it's either an addiction akin to porn addiction or he's having an EA (get a keylogger to know), either case it has to stop
apparantly it has only happend the 3 times plus nice complaments to coworkers

he says nothing is going on.
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