Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
Re: Feeling betrayed
You were betrayed in the most horrible way, you just give birth and he compares you with an OW, and makes light of your feelings, your WH is a nasty piece of work.
Of course you have not healed because he has done nothing to help you heal, he has just minimized your hurt and rug swept everything. This will not go away believe me, it will rear its ugly head over and over. Your WH needs a major come to Jesus moment.
I would suggest you get IC for yourself to handle the emotions this brings up in you and to learn how to approach your WH with this topic.
There is nothing to say that this did not go physical. Is there unaccounted time? I would insist on a polygraph, tell your WH it is not negotiable, you have borne the pain for years and need resolution whether in or out of the marriage. Be willing to lose this marriage and let him see that.
Then insist on MC, if he refuses then say you are going to see a lawyer, get the papers drawn up. Tell all family and friends you are filing for divorce because of what he did (explain exactly what you told us). He needs to be responsible for his actions. YOu have been silently carrying this for many years alone with no help from him, time for him to step up to the plate.
If he refuses to help you heal, do any of things above, then it is time to dump him, you will never have a good marriage. You need to do the 180 for yourself if he refuses to do these things.
He has a nerve saying he would leave you if you did the same thing, now its time for him to pay the piper, you must follow through. It appears you have given him way too much power in the marriage, it is time to take your power back and play hard ball. You do not need him in your life if push comes to shove. Speak with some close friends/family about your plan and ask for their support.
i wish you all the best but please do not live a life of misery and doubt.