I really wanted to know that I tried everything I could to save our marriage. I feel that I gave everything I had. If that didn't make him happy then nothing I did ever would. Even though part of me wants to see how far his new remorse goes, it's really all the same story. I already did the R and I don't have another 5 years to "try" again. He says it was a bad idea to meet OW outside of work but it runs deeper.
I don't like to focus on what might be happening behind my back because it just makes me sick. I don't think anything much happened either time but it's still a huge betrayal to me. He intended to leave me with a 6 month old while I cared for his disabled mother and he used the support from OW to give him confidence to do it. Truthfully I lost alot of respect for him after that. Throwing away our current life so he could spend 20 mins helping the same OW is just beyond understanding. He tries to make it sound better by saying he was sure not to start texting her again. Doesn't he know secretly meeting her outside of work is much worse than texting? My H is a very smart guy so this makes no sense.
He doesn't like me digging into his phone and I hate being with someone I need to do that with. It really doesn't help because there are so many ways to hide it and he can always just talk to her at work. Nothing helps.
The injustice! I supported him through all the tough times in his life and his support was crappy. I supported him ( at least financially) through school, parents dying, military deployment, and now it's mostly behind us. The next girl gets it easy.