Originally Posted by Thestarsarefalling View Post
If I kicked him out he would be able to find a nice dumb girl to swallow his lies pretty easy. Pretty sure dating and marriage isnt as easy for single mom in her 30s. Plus whomever I marry has to be a step dad. It's complicated. It's a risk to stay and a risk to leave. Paralyzed me to make a decision.
Given the long-term state of your relationship, and the fact that your husband seems to be actively wayward on an ongoing basis, is there really a chance that you'll be happy in your marriage in the future? Do you expect a happy life if you stay, or are you just anticipating more of the same low-level misery? Are you okay with never having a chance to have a happier life?
If you leave, you do have that chance. It isn't a guarantee, of course, but there is a chance for it. Maybe it won't be what you always imagined. But it might be even better. You can have a happy life alone, if you choose to. You can have a chance for a happy life in another relationship, if you choose to do that. But in either case, you won't be spending every day with someone who seems to have a vested interest in helping you to feel bad about yourself and life in general. That alone can be very valuable.
And, by the way, if you do end your marriage and decide that you want a relationship with someone else in the future, it really is possible to find a good, decent, attractive, loving, faithful man. Even for a divorced mom in her thirties. I did it. Many of my friends and acquaintances have done it. The trick is to get yourself healed and emotionally healthy so you're in the position to choose whether to continue being happily single or to be a great partner to a likewise emotionally healthy man.