Anti depressants after affair - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 05:32 AM Thread Starter
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Anti depressants after affair

Questions for anyone who considered anti depressants after a life altering event ie. affair.

Did they help in anyway?

Did they induce an 'emotional ceiling'?

Did they level you out and stabilise you to help deal with things better or the opposite?

Did you regret them (if taken)?

How did they affect other aspects of your life?

Thank you.

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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 05:52 AM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by GAP View Post
Questions for anyone who considered anti depressants after a life altering event ie. affair.

Did they help in anyway?

Did they induce an 'emotional ceiling'?

Did they level you out and stabilise you to help deal with things better or the opposite?

Did you regret them (if taken)?

How did they affect other aspects of your life?

Thank you.
Hi @GAP

Thanks for your post.

It's a really interesting topic and there will be polarised views on it, i'm sure.

My personal view, after working with many individuals who have taken them and many individuals who have healed themselves of pain naturally, is that they only serve as a mechanism for suppressing natural emotions. With all those people i've seen use anti-depressants, there have been a few outcomes:

1) It's created a feeling of numbness on a regular basis
2) They've still felt the symptoms of depression - sometimes even worse than the original emotions
3) Long term, it's never actually helped at all and in the end, they needed to look at other ways of healing the negative emotional states


There is a lot of mention of chemical imbalances but what I often see happening is that individuals get caught up in the identity of a depressed person, hence they never take the required action to get out of it because it's this horrible 'disease' that they have. When this sort of mindset is adopted, it's very difficult to get out of it.

I may be pushing some buttons on this topic but note, i'm just stating my personal opinion based on experience - but i'm not saying i'm right.

If I were you, I would seriously explore alternative ways of healing those wounds and unless there are really severe symptoms, then avoid anti-depressants.

Hope that helps.

Let me know if you have any further questions.

Thanks
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 07:08 AM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

I know many who have been greatly helped by them, including myself in the past, but unless you have severe depression you don't need them.
Taking them just because you are dealing with a painful situation probably isnt a good idea.
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 10:43 AM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

I was 7 months pregnant when my [now ex] husband left me for another woman. My OB-GYN gently encouraged anti-depressants because he was worried that postpartum depression would come in full force without them. I never had PPD with my previous two children, but he was cautious nonetheless. I was put on a low dose of zoloft and I am *so* thankful that I listened. I began to be able to eat again (I lost nearly 20lbs after he left and I'm not overweight to begin with) and I began to be able to sleep again. I was able to deliver my baby with a healthy state of mind.

I stayed on the AD for about 18 months. I've weaned myself from them and have been unmedicated for 9 months now and I feel wonderful. I do not struggle with my emotions. I feel them deeply (as I always have), but they do not consume me as they once did.
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 11:27 AM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

my kid brother died back in 2002 when he fell off a cliff and i fell into an unexpected deep depression.
i would drive around town balling my eyes out.

the dr. put me on prozac. at first i was reluctant to get on it. i read all the horror stories about people going bersek and
that it makes you into a zombie. also that all drugs do is 'mask' the symptoms

well, let me tell you about 'masking the symptoms'. i say; well let them mask, until my body and mind can heal through time.time is the BEST healer of all.
time, and only time will ultimately heal really deep wounds.
you can have the best therapists in the world, support from good people and those are greatly beneficial, but only to a degree.
i repeat..........only time will ultimately heal.

if you're really depressed and in a bad state, get on drug therapy. they can get you through the really rough spots, even out the worst until the time
comes you feel consistent healing and can get off them. get support also through group therapy or individual counseling.

as for my story i was able to keep working and doing well, and about a year after my brother died, i slowly weaned myself off.
it did blunt my thinking a bit, but so what? that's better than suffering crippling depression.
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 12:25 PM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by jorgegene View Post
It did blunt my thinking a bit, but so what? that's better than suffering crippling depression.
FWIW..
My dime....two cents have inflated from copper to silver. Uh, old dimes. The new ones are silver clad copper.. @#%^*

The lesser of two evils....is often the best path. I am glad that this drug regimen worked for you.
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .

Personally, I hate drugs and alcohol. I hate anything that weakens me.

Some people are heirs of Antaeus. The further my body and my mind get from "earthing" the weaker, dumber and more mortal I become.

I do wash my pizza down with bottled Guiness! Such a hypocrite, I be!

In reality, at least for me, drugs do two things:

Unleash the beast in me.
Unleash the beast in me....but pull out my teeth first. All growls...no bite.

I got my ass handed to me in Tokyo as a young man. Too drunk to be aware of my surroundings, too drunk to effectively fight back, too drunk to beat feet.
I was in Japan on medical leave from Vietnam. I got re-injured as a result of my stupidity.

Depression gets leveled out by Endorphins...released by intense aerobic exercise.
Anti-depressive drugs interfere with exercise.
Let's face it. Running is hard, it takes will power. AD drugs take will power and convert it to won't power.
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..........

That said, do what works for you.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 12:35 PM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by GAP View Post
Questions for anyone who considered anti depressants after a life altering event ie. affair.

Did they help in anyway?

Did they induce an 'emotional ceiling'?

Did they level you out and stabilise you to help deal with things better or the opposite?

Did you regret them (if taken)?

How did they affect other aspects of your life?

Thank you.
After my own affair did something to me that my wife's affair didn't, gave me a sort of a breakdown, I was prescribed Seroxat and that helped me immensely.


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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 06:24 PM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

I would encourage no use of SSRI's or SNRIs. The brain is a delicate organ, and these anti depressants are dangerous. Go see a naprapath or holistic Doctor skilled in emotional release therapy. I would recommend meds only as a last resort. EMDR is another option.

If you are going through hell keep on going-Winston Churchhill
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 06:45 PM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

Sleep a lot.

Sleep a lot and pre-prep yourself to dream of whatever makes you happy.

Or Whom-ever makes you happy.

Those hot Whom's never get tired of your caresses or your "pressing" needs.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 07:33 PM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

Before I got my engineering degree, I did electrical work. I served an unofficial apprenticeship in High School. The hours counted towards it. plus I took the tests. When I was eighteen I applied for my State Certification. They never checked my age while training.

.................................................. .................................................. ....................
The training served me well in Viet Nam. Yeah, right!
.................................................. .................................................. ....................

Anyway back to electrical work.

Being ever moving, my hands and brain were never in sync. I got shocked....A LOT.
Any depression that I had went away. The shocks "reset" your brain waves, cause them to stop producing whatever sorry ass chemical that causes your stick to dip south to Sad City.
.................................................. .................................................. ....................

They still use shock therapy. At much lower current. Targeted and employed to both brain hemispheres.

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is still being used, more so in Europe than the United States. It may be the most effective short-term treatment for some patients with depressive symptoms.
One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest was funny and sad as "Oh-**** Hell". ECT used before is not what they use now.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/attachm...=52785&thumb=1

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This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
SunCMars is online now  
post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 08:53 PM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

Zoloft helped me through the worst of it. It took away the violent mood swings and evened me out. Helped me think straight and look at at things more objectively.
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 09:32 PM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

My betrayal occurred back in the early 90's when prozac was fairly new. It was a godsend to help numb the unbearable agony I felt. I really believe it saved my life. I took it for a couple of years.

I caution people to stay the hell away from SSRI's because several close friends and family have suffered damage from them. The side effects can be much worse than the original ailment, plus the effects can be PERMANENT. And yes, I am speaking from experience.
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 07:39 AM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

SSRIs are no worse than the old psychotropics. Haldol, Elivil and Prozac were just as gawdawful as the new drugs.

I'm convinced the biggest problem is that most doctors are clueless as to how to properly administer SSRIs. I think most people are overdosed. Or, they are not weaned off the medications gradually enough.

I have seen SSRIs do miracles with some people. I know a lady who's son suffered from extreme scizophrenia and once they dialed in the right cocktail of medications, it gave that young man a new lease on life. That lady has had her son back, he as a steady job and hes no longer sleeping in a dumpster.

We shouldn't make broad generalizations about these medications. They are a hell of a lot better than nothing. Holistic medicine, nutritional therapy are all good, but they can't cure mood disorders.
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 07:44 AM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunCMars View Post
Before I got my engineering degree, I did electrical work. I served an unofficial apprenticeship in High School. The hours counted towards it. plus I took the tests. When I was eighteen I applied for my State Certification. They never checked my age while training.

.................................................. .................................................. ....................
The training served me well in Viet Nam. Yeah, right!
.................................................. .................................................. ....................

Anyway back to electrical work.

Being ever moving, my hands and brain were never in sync. I got shocked....A LOT.
Any depression that I had went away. The shocks "reset" your brain waves, cause them to stop producing whatever sorry ass chemical that causes your stick to dip south to Sad City.
.................................................. .................................................. ....................

They still use shock therapy. At much lower current. Targeted and employed to both brain hemispheres.

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is still being used, more so in Europe than the United States. It may be the most effective short-term treatment for some patients with depressive symptoms.
One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest was funny and sad as "Oh-**** Hell". ECT used before is not what they use now.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/attachm...=52785&thumb=1
Carrie Fisher swore by her ECT.
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 08:50 AM
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Re: Anti depressants after affair

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Last edited by 225985; 05-01-2017 at 02:03 PM.
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