Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...

bmichael · 01-29-2012, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morituri

The fact that she 'flipped' shows she is scared that the divorce will turn ugly and that her image to others will be tarred as the cheating wife.

File for divorce ASAP and requests a temporary custody order. This will prevent her from taking the kids. If she leaves she will be forced to make support payments for the kids and the house which is the kids home.

I can't file for divorce. In NC you have to be separated for 1 year before filing for divorce.

Can I file for the temporary custody order while she's still here in the house and hasn't left yet?

chapparal · 01-29-2012, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmichael

I can't file for divorce. In NC you have to be separated for 1 year before filing for divorce.

Can I file for the temporary custody order while she's still here in the house and hasn't left yet?

File for legal seperation and custody. Give lawyer proof of EA.

happyman64 · 01-29-2012, 12:04 PM

BMichael,

Your wife is in the fog.

Whether she has lost love for you or not she is acting irrational.

Go see an attorney pronto. Get custody for the kids. Start the separation process asap. If she has a few doctors willing to loan her money that would really worry me about what she has been up to the last few years.

Protect yourself and kids.

Show evidence of the A to the attorney. Act now.

HM64

Eli-Zor · 01-29-2012, 12:43 PM

If she does get money from the doctors you expose her affair to their co-workers and spouses that will cramp her plans and their support of her.
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warlock07 · 01-29-2012, 01:51 PM

Is bmicheal being bitter or is he making her face the consequences? I am conflicted.

bmichael · 01-29-2012, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warlock07

Is bmicheal being bitter or is he making her face the consequences? I am conflicted.

Is this a serious question? I don't feel bitter.

Shaggy · 01-29-2012, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmichael

I can't file for divorce. In NC you have to be separated for 1 year before filing for divorce.

Can I file for the temporary custody order while she's still here in the house and hasn't left yet?

But you can get the lawyer working on it tomorrow.

Her actions really reflect someone who is very much in the affair fog - there is no doubt at this point - the red flags, the blame shifting, etc.

bmichael · 01-30-2012, 05:57 AM

I kind of went against the advice of the thread here and contacted the OM and asked him to what extent he saw the relationship with my wife.

He responded by threatening my life and hurdling numerous insults at me. I have the messages printed out and I already emailed them to my lawyer.

lordmayhem · 01-30-2012, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmichael

Can I file for the temporary custody order while she's still here in the house and hasn't left yet?

Contact your lawyer for that. But I do know that while there is no custody order in place, she would be able to take the kids while you're gone and there will be nothing you can do about it. She will be able to take them to another state. Thats why you need to move first before she does. Get that temporary custody order ASAP.
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lordmayhem · 01-30-2012, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmichael

I kind of went against the advice of the thread here and contacted the OM and asked him to what extent he saw the relationship with my wife.

He responded by threatening my life and hurdling numerous insults at me. I have the messages printed out and I already emailed them to my lawyer.

You were advised not to contact the OM, but you did anyway. OMs response was to be expected. If OM had contacted you to threaten you, you would have been able to file a police report against him for the threats.
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chapparal · 01-30-2012, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmichael

I kind of went against the advice of the thread here and contacted the OM and asked him to what extent he saw the relationship with my wife.

He responded by threatening my life and hurdling numerous insults at me. I have the messages printed out and I already emailed them to my lawyer.

Could you be more specific?

bmichael · 01-30-2012, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chapparal

Could you be more specific?

He hurled profanities at me, said that he had my bank information, credit report, etc.

That if I tried to contact him again he would "shoot me with his nine" that it was "locked and loaded".

I did not threaten him in anyway and simply asked him how he saw the relationship with my wife.

lordmayhem · 01-30-2012, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmichael

He hurled profanities at me, said that he had my bank information, credit report, etc.

That if I tried to contact him again he would "shoot me with his nine" that it was "locked and loaded".

I did not threaten him in anyway and simply asked him how he saw the relationship with my wife.

Then if you have those emails or messages printed up, then go to the police station and file a police report against him for the threats and submit those emails as evidence, then file a restraining or protection order against him citing these threats. You will need his address or an address where he works so that he can be served with the order.

bmichael · 01-30-2012, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lordmayhem

Then if you have those emails or messages printed up, then go to the police station and file a police report against him for the threats and submit those emails as evidence, then file a restraining or protection order against him citing these threats. You will need his address or an address where he works so that he can be served with the order.

I'm planning a trip to the lawyer's today and the police station to follow up these threats.

Plus, I have counseling tonight. Full day of marriage garbage.

lordmayhem · 01-30-2012, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmichael

I'm planning a trip to the lawyer's today and the police station to follow up these threats.

Plus, I have counseling tonight. Full day of marriage garbage.

Don't forget to bring the copies of the messages with you when you go to the courthouse when you apply for the RO/PO.