Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
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Originally Posted by lordmayhem
That's how it usually happens. When they are in the affair, they can flush EVERYTHING down the drain, no matter how many years, no matter how many children, they can sacrifice it all for their affair. Much like a drug addict. Read the links for newbies.
She's leaving without the kids but wants to come to the house every night like normal and leave when they go to bed. I told her that wasn't happening.
She's leaving today sometime, and I'm planning to change the locks tomorrow.
Have you talked to a lawyer about your plan? Not saying its wrong, or you shouldn't do it, but it may not be very effective at keeping her out of the house.
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
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Originally Posted by PBear
Have you talked to a lawyer about your plan? Not saying its wrong, or you shouldn't do it, but it may not be very effective at keeping her out of the house.
C Posted via Mobile Device
But it sure makes a statement and may work for awhile.
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
Well, scratching "WH0RE" across the side of her car would also be an effective way of getting his point across, but it would likely cause him grief down the road. All I'm saying is get proper legal advice before doing something that may come back to bite you in the @ss, so at least you're informed of the possible consequences.
In many areas and situations, the house is just as much hers as it is his. What if she decides to change the locks herself then? Or bring her OM over during the day when the OP isnt around. If they start escalating the animosities, it's just going to get nasty. What was that movie... War of The Roses?
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
Quote:
Originally Posted by PBear
Have you talked to a lawyer about your plan? Not saying its wrong, or you shouldn't do it, but it may not be very effective at keeping her out of the house.
C Posted via Mobile Device
I'm waiting to hear back from my lawyer before I go through with changing the locks.
My wife already doesn't want to help pay the mortgage even though her name is on the loan, and she's willingly leaving the house. As I see it, I have every right to change the locks if she doesn't want to live there anymore.
Boom. Just like that, my lawyer recommended that I change the locks as soon as she moves out.
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
Did your attorney also suggest that you request a temporary custody order so she won't be able to take the kids out of the home if she changes her mind?
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
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Originally Posted by morituri
Did your attorney also suggest that you request a temporary custody order so she won't be able to take the kids out of the home if she changes her mind?
Actually they didn't recommend that. They want me to continue to work on the agreement with my wife without involving lawyers which I'm doing. However, I can't trust my wife much right now.
The only good thing is my wife is so involved with school and it consumes so much of her time, there's never a moment when the kids are home that I'm not with them.
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
I agree. Change the locks. If she walks she has no right to come and go as she pleases.
You also need to be firm on the finances. If she is not being honest and is walking away from the marriage and the mortgage then you have all the answers you need.
I feel she has thought all this out. I also believe her A is more involved than just an EA.
Any mother who can walk away from the kids is going through a serious mental and emotional state. If she did not shed a tear I would move the separation along as fast as you can for your own peace of mind.
Maybe she will wake up, maybe she won't. Just her thinking she can see the kids everyday after moving out tells you she is not living in reality.
Stay strong. Focus on you and the kids. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
Just an update...
Wife moved out on Wednesday. She was packing her crap when I got home from work that day. Took all her clothes and belongings and an air mattress to sleep on.
Yesterday she called and asked if she could come over and see the kids. I told her I didn't care as long as she was spending time with the kids and not doing school work, on her phone, or trying to argue with me.
She came over for two hours and just sat on the sofa while my kids played video games and were on the computer. Afterward she asked if she could take a sleeping bag because she was cold at her apartment. I said I didn't care even though i should have told her to freeze. Her attitude was very different while she was there.
Haven't had time to change the locks yet. I'm going to tonight. I've already been approved for the refinancing on my house.
I have another meeting with the lawyer scheduled to get the custody order rolling. It keeps getting pushed because my lawyer keeps getting stuck in court.
Wife keeps asking about her retirement disbursement and I told her I wasn't doing or agreeing to anything until I spoke with my lawyer, that I was done playing games with her. She doesn't know that I'm doing a custody order.
She's planning to come back this weekend for some furniture that she got from her grandma. Hopefully she doesn't call, wanting to come over tonight because I'm going to be busy.
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
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Originally Posted by happyman64
Good for you. Keep your head.
The sleeping bag is no big deal. The fact she has nothing and is freezing just shows how pathetic her train of thought and reasoning are these days.
Stay strong and be smart.
Absoultely. Which is crazy because before all of this I thought my wife was extremely intelligent. This EA and the accompanied fog have made her look very juvenile and not very smart at all.
Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate...
When a persons self esteem is low and they are craving attention it is very easy for them to get lost in fantasy land. Their good judgement and loyalty go right out the window.
It is sad to watch someone you love and care about self destruct. There is nothing you can do to help her right now.
Take care of you. Work on your issues that put a dent on your marriage so no matter what happens you come out as a better person.
And love your kids more than ever. They are going to hurt just as badly as you. Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: Just discovered possible EA after Wife said she wants to separate... 
