Initfortheduration

All I suggested was a word picture conveyed with directness, for her to put herself in fathers place. The toughest thing for a 17 year old to do is to think outside of herself. There is nothing wrong with making her think of how her actions will effect their relationship. In fact, its called parenting. Preparing children for the future, teaching them critical thinking and that there are consequences to her or anyone actions. You say that B is under enough stress. I wonder if it was stressful for his daughter to call him a douche and undermine him with his 14 year old daughter? Sorry, I don't consider that being a surrogate mom. And if anything her comments to her younger sister only inflamed the situation. All of this is subjective. B knows his daughter, we don't. Oh and happyman, do you think rules and respect should stop or change because of situation? Sorry, thats when consistency from dad is the most important. Mom is a useless college groupy trying to hold on to her youth that she lost 20 years ago. She will be a negative effect on the children. She doesn't do anything for the family. She most likely will be the "buddy" mom, who lets her daughters boyfriends sleep over, or will buy them beer. Maybe when she is 21 mom can take her on one of those fun filled bar hopping nights.

Is any of this connecting?

bmichael

I plan to speak to my daughter today when I pick her up after school. I'm going to try to find a middle ground between what everyone is suggesting.

chapparal

Have you heard from the FBI?

bmichael

Yeah... unfortunately they told me the messages weren't enough to pursue prosecution.

However, my lawyer is building an alienation of affections case against the doctor.

Also, anyone have any suggestions on how to get my wife to stop texting and emailing me all day long? It's really interfering with my job duties.

bandit.45

Change your cell# and email address?
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bmichael

I've been trying to avoid this but I guess it's really the only thing I can do.

She sent me an email this morning trying to tell me how to parent my kids. LOL.

My son has slept a few nights with me in my bed since the incident last week and she's trying to tell me that it's not a good thing and that they should be sleeping in their own beds.

Tall Average Guy

Stinks having to be the adult, doesnn't it? Because at 17, the daughter is not yet an adult. She may look like it and even act like it sometimes, but she is not yet, certainly with respect to controlling her emotions. She will make mistakes, and here she made a big one. So B can lash out at her and drive her away (may be even confirm what his STBX is saying about him), or he can calmly correct her, show her what she needs to do in the future, and assure her that even with everything going on in the family and even with this mistake, he loves his daughter.

B, you daughter is just as scared and unsure as your 14 year old is. She needs you to set proper boundaries and she also needs you to confirm that you love her. I think the middle ground that you are discussing makes a lot of sense. One idea is to include the 14 year old at the end, so your 17 year old can apologize to you in front of her. This gives her the chance to stand up and be accountable, and you the chance to show affirm you love them even with everything going on.

Tall Average Guy

The urge to reply "I will give this the consideration it is due" would be almost unstoppable if I were in your shoes right now.

MrQuatto

Beware of sexual abuse allegations,

just sayin

Q~

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bmichael

Maybe I'm too tired or stressed out, but I'm not sure what this means...

Tall Average Guy

You will give her suggestion on parenting techniques the consideration it deserves. As it is from a person who displays no good parenting skills, it is due no consideration. It is a snarky way of telling her you will ignore it - of course, she may be too self-involved to understand that.

happyman64

Thanks Tag. You summed up the middle ground very well.

BMichael,
Just ask your wife to layoff or go through your attorney. You can change your number but she will just get the new number from he kids.

I am glad you are talking to the girls. They are lashing out . They need you badly. Sometimes kids just ask for help badly.
Posted via Mobile Device

river rat

Why not just turn off your phone for 2-3 hrs at a time, so you can get your work done. Then take a break and check messages and delete the nonsense. Give your cell # to your kids so they can contact you in an emergency. Your wife doesn't seem to know what's urgent anyway.

Initfortheduration

I know you will find the right words.

chapparal

You may have mentioned this before but what is she getting a degree in? Do you have a degree?