bandit.45

Hmmm... risky.

Hope he wore a raincoat. Hope his johnson doesn't wither up and fall off in a month.

chapparal

Important things?

chapparal

She didn't have a physical affair. (Unless I have lost track again.)

bmichael

She didn't.

morituri

It still hurts like hell.

__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

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bmichael

Absolutely.

bandit.45

Uh...okay.
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bmichael

Things about her schedule, the fact that it's more complicated now than it was before. No clue how she could look after our kids properly during the week. Things about her lawyer, things her lawyer told her, things her friends have said.

She was an open book for the most part... unless she was completely lying to me.

chapparal

And did you get any sense of where she was going with all this?

It seems that with what she says she couldn't handle primary custody so why would she be trying to manipulate you?

bmichael

I didn't get any sense of where she was going. She was just filling me in and spilling her guts like we weren't separated. Yet, she still said she didn't want to be married.

I think she knows she couldn't handle primary custody. She wants us to have joint custody, which I don't think she could handle that either.

happyman64

BMichael,

She is starting to feel the consequences of her actions.

She is feeling for herself. No matter what it sounds like she is not remorseful and wants to be on her own.

She does not want to be your wife or a full time mom anymore.

Sadly, it sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do.

Stick to your principles. Do what is right for your kids since she is not will ing to do it.

Unless she is remorseful and wants to work on your marriage there is nothing else you can really do at this time.

Be strong....

HM64

chapparal

If you can handle sex with her while getting yourself emotionally ready for divorce it may serve to draw her back into the family if thats what you want. At some point you need to pointout to her that the sex will have to end when you fine a girl friend. You also could point out you may end up with an even bigger family depending on who you hook up with. At least thats the story I would tell her. She's only thinking of her future , not her family's and how the distance between her and her family will grow. Just saying.

bmichael

I'm not sure that's something I want...

Also, she's already text'd me this morning to tell me she's no longer going out of town today and will be around if I need help with the kids. This is my agreed upon weekend. More mind games?
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calif_hope

Sometimes the words and actions of a person falling apart can be perceived as mind games......the are the actions and ramblings of a person no longer connected to themselves and their life. However, you still need to protect your self as if they are the words and deeds of a person who has conceived an action and tactical plan to gain a victory over you.
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happyman64

BMichael,
You keep looking for a clue that she wants to reconcile but you just said after she spilled her guts that she still wants the divorce.

Keep moving ahead with the attorney. Your wife is starting to see the picture of her single life.

She wants to be single with you and the kids there as her support mechanism for when she is feeling down and alone.

You cannot be her support anymore. You deserve to have a life too!

She should have been open with you months ago. She should have turned to you instead of the OM.

Do not give up on custody. You are the only unselfish parent that has 100% of the children's best interest in mind.....

Keep moving forward.

How was her apartment by the way? Was it a bachelorette pad? Was it suitable for all the kids?

How are your kids by te way?
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