I read this article yesterday. Dude is basically saying the cheater is not the problem but a spouse that expects the other spouse to stay with one person during marriage is the problem. He said MEN though. I'm saying spouse because men and women cheat not just men. The first problem I have is the dude using college students. He could have done half college students and half grown settled older men who have families and then compared the infidelitiey between both groups. ANYWAY, wish I could email this "Eric Anderson"- guess I will attempt to email him my perspective of his book. _______________________________________________
A well-known author has written a book proving that men are pre-wired to cheat because they like sex — even though they love their wives or girlfriends. Professor Eric Anderson’s book The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and The Reality of Cheating, details a study that he conducted using 120 college students. Anderson found that cheating is the norm for men, not the exception.
In the study, Anderson found that 78% of the male participants cheated on their wives or girlfriends — even though they loved their partners and did not want to break up. In an interview with The Huffington Post, Anderson states that “infidelity does not break marriages up; it is the unreasonable expectation that a marriage must restrict sex that breaks a marriage up.” In other words, it’s not the cheating that breaks up marriages, it’s women’s unrealistic expectations that a man should have sex with only one woman. In order to preserve human existence, man must be fruitful (highly productive) and sow the seeds of future generations. This can not be achieved if 90% of men are married monogamously to a single woman and each couple bears an average of 2.5 children. If men were not more sexually productive, the human species would cease to exist due to the effects of disease, deaths, old age, etc. Not to mention the deformities from inbreeding (incest between blood relatives).
Millions of years ago, the human lifespan was much shorter than it is today. But the rules of Evolution still apply even though women selfishly and stubbornly cling to the narcissistic notion that they “own” their men. Human beings are not born to be owned. And neither are we born to be monogamous. Over the years women have grown to accept the fact that men are born to cheat. Actress Goldie Hawn has been in a relationship with actor Kurt Russell for 27 years. Goldie believes that infidelity is in a man’s nature.
“I don’t believe we own anybody,” the actress said in a Vanity Fair interview. “I don’t think Kurt sexually only has eyes for me…The reality of him going out, of traveling, of seeing a woman—I think it’s kind of unnatural not to have those tendencies,”Adds Kurt, “Men are not suppose to see one woman and only desire one woman…that’s just science. If the species doesn’t mutate, it’ll die…This is a man. That is what he is on earth for.” Source In some cultures infidelity and polygamy are accepted ways of life. In those cultures men bear children with multiple women the way it was originally intended to be.
Dr. Anderson maintains that women should allow their men to stray without subjecting them to any of the highly emotional guilt trips that women are famous for. Many of you women will discuss Dr. Anderson’s study as foolishness. But that won’t stop your man from looking at other women, or desiring them sexually.
Anderson states that “infidelity does not break marriages up; it is the unreasonable expectation that a marriage must restrict sex that breaks a marriage up.”
How dare we women be so unreasonable!
So men SHOULD be going around father babies with different women? And who supports them financially? And do we start tagging our kids so they don't breed with their siblings somewhere in the future?
Honestly, he is implying that men don't have a sense of possessiveness about their women? And a man can have sex with whomever and not have a need for personal intimacy that comes with being in love and commited to one person?
I really don't believe that many men, in all seriousness, would agree to what this man says.
Evolutionary speaking, men are wired to be non-monogamous (as are women, to some extent ... Always looking for better genes).
But the problem with those who rely on evolutionary biology to support such theories is that they leave out the evolution part. We're no longer living in caves, yet when it comes to sex they treat us as if we're cavemen. The survival of the species no longer requires us men to spread our seed as often and widely as possible. Back then, non-monogamy was essential and there were severe societal consequences of it not being practiced.
Today, the opposite is largely true. The are more negative consequences of nonmonogamy than positive ones. Our primal instincts certainly remain at some level, but I'd like to think that evolution is a constant process and - like everything else about us - our reproductive urges change over the millenia. Posted via Mobile Device
1. It gives people the idea that cheating is ok. "Hey, it's biology. Yes I have a brain, but I don't like using it."
2. It makes cheaters feel good about their choices. "Sure, I could be faithful, but why fight biology? It's not my fault..."
We all have the ability to cheat. We all are at risk of it at one point or another. Thing is, non-cheaters THINK before they act. Non-cheaters CHOOSE not to act upon things no matter the circumstances.
Cheaters do not. Then they read garbage like this so the blame and guilt can be lifted of of their shoulders. Cause, it's science, right?
Eric (I refuse to call him a Doctor after reading that crap) Anderson completely contradicts himself when he uses "evolution" as his ideology behind justifying men's primal instincts on sex leading them to cheat, because he ignores the fact that humanity has evolved intellectually as well.
Both men and women have evolved physically to have sex with each other, meaning women are not excluded to the ideologies of procreation in general. If you want to break it down to simple evolution terms, both genders evolved to have sex. So by Anderson's logic, both genders are "wired to cheat"???
"Cheating" is a social term of modern civilization, meaning it is held to the standards of evolved intellect. It is a term applied as an intentional, pre-meditated decision to act. Therefore it is technically impossible to be "pre-wired to cheat" from an evolutionary standpoint. You make a decision to do it, which is a moral decision, and it is in no way exclusive to men or women.
Humans are "pre-wired" to have sex... when we decided to cheat that is making a choice which ignores a moral standard.