My life is a complete and total mess.
Where to begin... I am in a serious affair with another man.
I am married, he is married. All we do now is try to figure out a way to get out of our marriage's. I am having second thoughts, but then I see him and have 2nd thoughts about my 2nd thoughts. A little back story..
I am 40 married for 15 years, one child in elementary school. My marriage has had its share of issues, we've talked seperation, we've talked about staying together. 5 years ago he had an EA and then again with another women last year. Both ended when I got wind of them, but I was humiliated. Both times I've confronted the women in person. Stood my ground, this is my family.
My marriage has never been a healthy sexual relationship, we have very little to no passion or sex, and we discuss it all the time that we are roomates. Went to counseling, didn't help.
Met someone 4 months ago, he is married 20 years, wife no longer shares the bedroom. We started as E-Friends who could just relate to the other. Within a month it was physcial. Now its weekly and I am crazy about him!
Sneaking around, lying, cheating all things neither of us thought we could do.. Now we talk about leaving and being together, planning details, how will we make it work. The mistakes we've made in our current relationships and how to not make them again.
I start to have 2nd thoughts, selling houses, splitting custody, is it all worth it.. The other man is constantly questioning me.. Where am I, what am I doing, am I sleeping with him.. I am constantly questioning him.. I don't think we can trust each other given what we have been doing. Its all a mess.
However, I have fallen in love with him. Where I am not in love with my husband anymore. I just don't know anymore.. Thinking of telling my husband and letting the chips fall where they may. But I don't want to hurt him. WOuldn't it be better if we just seperated and then tell him I met someone. He's still my son's father. He doesn't need to be humiliated. But does he, he did it to me.. However I am not doing this to be vengeful. I am truly not sure what to do..
Has anyone here cheated on the spouse or their spouse cheated on them and end up with that person? Am I really thinking in another world that this could possibly end up in a good relationship?