Originally Posted by justanotherguy80 View Post
Almost 4 years ago i cought my wife sexting a coworker. I confronted her pretty early with this after having a suspicion for a few weeks. Founs out nt checking her phone. She did everything i asked after this, and we have both agreed to be 100% open from that point on and also to work and have focus on the relationship. Everything has been going real well so far. She says she loves me daily. And seems to be content with our lovelife, our 2 kids and everything.
In the meanwhile:
After the first incident i installed a hidden cam in the bedroom. Maybee it was paranoia or curiosity taking hold of me but i could not help myself but installing this for a safety net as to know what my wife was up to.
I havent been checking the cam for a while, but i did now. And when i was away for a day i checked. She was taking naked pics of herself. I recieved none of theese pics so im guessing it was for someone else by snapchat.
Question is: should or can i confront?
I feel bad enough for having the cam up still. I almost certain i will wait to see how this plays out without telling about the hidden cam. At the same time i also wish to give her privacy.
Thanx for reading this. Im sure im leaving out details but i had to vent this out quickly.
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Just Another Guy,
I am sorry but I will never understand this theory of sitting and letting something like this go on with a woman who has done this before, in order to gather "evidence". Evidence for what??? Are you in a state where infidelity can help you avoid financial ramifications in a divorce???? If not, what more evidence do you need.
You wife has cheated before, she is taking naked pictures of herself obviously not intended for your consumption, and I'm sure you will get the age old explanation that she was taking them to see how she looked and that they really were for you and that she hadn't gotten around to sending them. And you feel guilty for snooping, which proves she knows what she is doing and you are still in denial unless you think she has the right to sext with other men as a marital right.
Now, you can bet your 401K she is already involved with another man and now as she uses an app very difficult to trace you are going to spend weeks "gathering" evidence. Bigger question is what are you going to do with this evidence when you get it??? Youre not in a court of law so what is your game plan??? You going to beg her to stop???
It is mind boggling to me how many men just let all this happen right in front of them because they want to go step by step. You want to find out what is going on.
Sit her ass down and tell her you have scheduled a polygraph test because you believe ( and none of her business why you believe this) that she is sexting other men again. my bet is she will turn as white as Casper The Ghost and vehemently refuse this, which will tell you more than gathering will do. now you will most likely reject this so I think you better start to figure out what you are going to do when you get your Columbo certificate and find out she is either sexting or physically cheating on you.
Yes she will gaslight you and deny. You really want to believe her????