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post #91 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 02:07 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

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If it was real she could never go work for the same guy. You're correct. No way.

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Look up thread to backwards Muslim laws for the region they are currently living in. Leaving employment isn't necessarily allowed without the consent of the employer, who may be holding her passport. OP's W may have just been cheating, but I wouldn't completely rule out rape in this instance, because of where they are.


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post #92 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 02:08 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

That's very true. Good point.

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post #93 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 03:21 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

OP,

When a cheater is caught, in desperation they sometimes throw a "hail Marry"; believing there's a small chance they might get you to buy it.

Anecdotally, it seems that most often for a man, it's - "I can't help it because I'm a sex addict".

For a woman, it's - "Not my fault because I was raped/sexually harassed".

For the latter, I see no evidence for her story to be taken seriously. Knock her hail Mary pass down in the end zone and end the game.
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post #94 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 03:42 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

I don't think that your wife is being completely honest with you. I really believe she doesn't want to report it because she doesn't want there to be an investigation and it's discovered that she lying. It doesn't matter where you are, rape is rape and it's wrong. Taking it lightly or using it to cover up your wrongdoing is sick. I'm positive that you both would find a way to pay off the termination fee especially if she is telling the truth... unfortunately, I don't think she is.

Sorry bro.

Please don't be a weak person and fall for her lies. For all you know, there could be more than one person she's been with that she's willing to throw under the bus to save face. Weak little girls do that ish. I really hope she tells you everything cause it sounds like she's hiding more than she's told you.
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post #95 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 05:04 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

You are a cheater.

Your wife is a cheater.

Neither of you is suited to marriage.

Divorce her and go get some intensive counseling for yourself to find out why you repetitively make one bad life decision after another. There is no saving this sham of a marriage or your broken wife.
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post #96 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 02:16 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

OK here are my thoughts on this:


We are talking about an Arab country here and a gulf one at that (as opposed to the Mediterranean ones). Rape is very hard to report in these Islamic countries. The law states (as you have rightly said) that it has to be witnessed by more than one local male and/or the rapist admits it. In certain countries like Pakistan, if the complaint is not upheld, the woman gets put to death for adultery, so it can vary in severity but the net result is to discourage the reporting of rape!


As for her boss - saying he is from the UK maybe technically correct but is an insult! He is an ARAB! In his thinking and the way he acts. So you can expect from him what you expect from the locals with the exception that he is more aware of how to abuse his position of power and knows how to get away with it.


Arabs tend to exploit certain ethnicities more than others - Indians, Sri Lankans, Philippinas, East Europeans get picked on most and many times, this results in them putting up with it to maintain their earning status there. So I will ask you - even though you are from Canada, what is your ethnicity ?


The above question is also linked to why you both value working in the UAE as being that important ??? Its not like the job situation in Canada is that bad. Many Asians and East Europeans value (incorrectly) being in the Middle East - I was born there (as an ex-pat) and 7th circle of hell doesn't even begin to describe it - and I mean from a local behaviour point of view not to mention the unbearable heat, sand storms and lack of anything that grows naturally. What I am trying to say is "WHY THE FVCK DONT YOU GUYS GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE?'


This is not to say that Western women don't get into trouble there. I know somebody from the UK who went there (Dubai - which is more lenient) with her long-term partner, were caught being intimate (nothing too bad) in public, were then investigated and since they were not married, were arrested and their passports confiscated. The partner was thrown into jail and all their financial assets frozen and she ended up living out of a shopping trolley in a supermarket car park with other Europeans helping her to get by. This got sorted out in time and I found out after the fact. It is on the worst case side of things but you need to know more about where you have chosen to work and live.


Once you answer some of the questions above, I can give you a better opinion on whether your wife is lying, telling the truth or something in between. But you should seriously consider getting the hell out of there!

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post #97 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 03:17 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

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Originally Posted by manfromlamancha View Post
OK here are my thoughts on this:


We are talking about an Arab country here and a gulf one at that (as opposed to the Mediterranean ones). Rape is very hard to report in these Islamic countries. The law states (as you have rightly said) that it has to be witnessed by more than one local male and/or the rapist admits it. In certain countries like Pakistan, if the complaint is not upheld, the woman gets put to death for adultery, so it can vary in severity but the net result is to discourage the reporting of rape!


As for her boss - saying he is from the UK maybe technically correct but is an insult! He is an ARAB! In his thinking and the way he acts. So you can expect from him what you expect from the locals with the exception that he is more aware of how to abuse his position of power and knows how to get away with it.


Arabs tend to exploit certain ethnicities more than others - Indians, Sri Lankans, Philippinas, East Europeans get picked on most and many times, this results in them putting up with it to maintain their earning status there. So I will ask you - even though you are from Canada, what is your ethnicity ?


The above question is also linked to why you both value working in the UAE as being that important ??? Its not like the job situation in Canada is that bad. Many Asians and East Europeans value (incorrectly) being in the Middle East - I was born there (as an ex-pat) and 7th circle of hell doesn't even begin to describe it - and I mean from a local behaviour point of view not to mention the unbearable heat, sand storms and lack of anything that grows naturally. What I am trying to say is "WHY THE FVCK DONT YOU GUYS GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE?'


This is not to say that Western women don't get into trouble there. I know somebody from the UK who went there (Dubai - which is more lenient) with her long-term partner, were caught being intimate (nothing too bad) in public, were then investigated and since they were not married, were arrested and their passports confiscated. The partner was thrown into jail and all their financial assets frozen and she ended up living out of a shopping trolley in a supermarket car park with other Europeans helping her to get by. This got sorted out in time and I found out after the fact. It is on the worst case side of things but you need to know more about where you have chosen to work and live.


Once you answer some of the questions above, I can give you a better opinion on whether your wife is lying, telling the truth or something in between. But you should seriously consider getting the hell out of there!
I so agree with this, I have no idea why anyone would live in these countries unless they have to, no matter how highly paid the work is.
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post #98 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 03:40 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

You are being lied to and she is continuing her affair with her boyfriend right under your nose.

There isn't really any other way to dice this one.

Have you even verified if there was a work party? What did they do, go upstairs and bang like in a 80s frat boy movie? Come on, you may have been born during the day but you weren't born yesterday.

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post #99 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 06:35 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

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We are both from Canada. We are currently in UAE.
jeez go back to canada after revealing this to the uae police.
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post #100 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 07:03 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

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jeez go back to canada after revealing this to the uae police.
they need to NOT inform authorities other than the Canadian embassy/consulate. The police would likely hold the woman accountable for adultery and arrest her.

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post #101 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 10:10 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

Whatever really happened, both of you need to just get out of the country. Too much real risk to everyone involved. Get good advice from the Canadian consulate. Don't mention anything about rape or affairs to anybody. Just get out.

Once back in safe territory deal with the marriage issues.

The only way to get to the truth whether it was rape or a consensual affair is a polygraph. You can try to recover messages etc from all of her electronic devices. There may be proof hidden somewhere in a deleted message, but being a workplace affair they likely didn't exchange any salacious messages electronically.
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post #102 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 01:30 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

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they need to NOT inform authorities other than the Canadian embassy/consulate. The police would likely hold the woman accountable for adultery and arrest her.
good point. Get the heck out of dodge, and when you are back in canada, i like the idea of a polygraph then! Also, of course, lots of STD testing....

do you have friends/family back in canada that you can stay with for a couple months as you get back onto your feet?
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post #103 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 04:17 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

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they need to NOT inform authorities other than the Canadian embassy/consulate. The police would likely hold the woman accountable for adultery and arrest her.
I second this. Under no circumstances should this be reported to the cops. Whether she was raped or if it was adultery.

Do you hear the people sing / Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people / Who are climbing to the light.
For the wretched of the earth / There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end / And the sun will rise...
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post #104 of 104 (permalink) Old Today, 10:40 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

Troll, thread locked.

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