When a wife cries rape after an affair - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 10:51 PM Thread Starter
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When a wife cries rape after an affair

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post #2 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 11:01 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

So she claimed he raped her so she went back and let him rape her again? Did she say how many times? If a man had raped me I would not being going to a party where he was going to be or spending any time alone with him again. Also if she was raped why did she spend the night with him???
She has also cheated with 2 men before(and I realise you cheated as well), its a pattern.

I would call her out on it and say that as she has been raped you are going to the police and you want her to leave her job immediately. So what if you have to go home. If the rape was real she wouldn't want to see him again. She would be glad to leave.
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post #3 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 11:09 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

This is deep! Wow

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post #4 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 11:10 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

Can she get it on tape emails txt & sue for sexual harassment

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post #5 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 11:10 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

He needs to be in jail

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post #6 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 11:24 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

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No judgement please… If I wasn’t so confused I wouldn’t be posting here. I always swore I wouldn’t be the type of person to post to a group of anonymous strangers. Well… here I am, because this sure isn’t a thing I can talk to with friends.

My wife and I have been married for 13 years. We married on the younger side at 19. To give a brief history, 11 years ago I cheated on my wife while she was out of the country for a year. 7 years ago my wife had an affair with two men when I became very distant with her. One was purely sex and the other closer resembled a relationship. They were not at the same time but did slightly overlap. We did not go through marriage therapy after my infidelity (because it didn’t come out until she had her affair) but did after my wife’s. I’m going to say that it took about 4 years to get things back to a point that I’d consider good.

5 weeks ago my wife went to a work party and didn’t come home that night. After that she hasn’t wanted to have sex or any physical intimacy and has been very distant from me. I called her out on cheating again and she said she was raped. She hasn’t reported it because it was allegedly her boss and she doesn’t want to lose her job, and the kicker, it has occurred more than once but “not that bad” - from my wife’s mouth. She did contract a (curable) STD. Slightly extenuating circumstances, we are living abroad and if she loses her job we’re going back home. Or, and I’m just throwing this out there, she’s screwing her way to stay.

Call me an ******* (and man do I feel like one) but I don’t know if I believe her. Crying rape seems like an easy coverup for cheating, and a horrible thing to do. Yes, I do feel like a **** for writing this and even thinking it.
I'm a woman and hopefully sensitive to these things but I call BS on your wife's story. She has a history of sleeping with other men, how can someone be raped more than once, unless they are a child, or kidnap victim. Her boss may have power over her, for sure but to this extent? I think you should insist your wife goes with you to a rape trauma center and a therapist to get to the bottom of this.
How serious would it be if she lost her job and you went home?
Is her boss married?
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post #7 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 11:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

My wife is claiming that she gave him oral 6 times in the workplace and she didn't want to but he threatened her job. Following that was the work party which was when he allegedly raped her with penetrative sex threatening to fire her if she didn't oblige or if she told anyone. After the work party my wife spend the night with a friend because she was too ashamed to come home and didn't know what to tell me. Her boss is married and he does have the power to fire her and in turn force her to go home, and I'd of course go with her. If my wife were fired she would need to leave the country and go back home, I'd go with her we've had enough problems being separate. We're on a contract and would pay about $6000 to terminate it if we both left right now. That, and being foreign she doesn't want to report it.

It doesn't add up in my head. Why wouldn't she say anything before when it was "just" oral? In what world is that acceptable? The friend that she allegedly stayed with would lie through her teeth. If I hadn't called her out she wouldn't have told me at all, which screams affair not rape. She hasn't wanted to have sex, but that can be explained by the STD (as well as rape). However, when it was "just" oral our sex life didn't suffer. (Yes, btw I have been tested).
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post #8 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 11:48 PM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

I wouldn't believe it.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #9 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 11:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

GusPolinski - you seem to be in good company.
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post #10 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 12:00 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

Honestly you have to choices either have her press charges or divorce her.....either way she cheated and your marriage has not gotten better time to move on.

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post #11 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 12:32 AM
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Cool Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

I might very well be wrong here, but am I among the select few who would absolutely find her credibility to be seriously lacking?

I would love to cross-examine her as a hostile witness!

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post #12 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 01:23 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

What are the laws in the country where you live? Do they even really pursue rapists? Would she have a case if she brought a suit against the company for sexual harassment?

If it's rape, or him forcing her to keep her job, then could she get him to talk about this while she is wearing a VAR (voice activated recorder)?

Why do you think she told you about this if she was having consensual sex with the guy?
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post #13 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 01:43 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

Have her file charges.
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post #14 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 04:20 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

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My wife is claiming that she gave him oral 6 times in the workplace and she didn't want to but he threatened her job. Following that was the work party which was when he allegedly raped her with penetrative sex threatening to fire her if she didn't oblige or if she told anyone. After the work party my wife spend the night with a friend because she was too ashamed to come home and didn't know what to tell me. Her boss is married and he does have the power to fire her and in turn force her to go home, and I'd of course go with her. If my wife were fired she would need to leave the country and go back home, I'd go with her we've had enough problems being separate. We're on a contract and would pay about $6000 to terminate it if we both left right now. That, and being foreign she doesn't want to report it.

It doesn't add up in my head. Why wouldn't she say anything before when it was "just" oral? In what world is that acceptable? The friend that she allegedly stayed with would lie through her teeth. If I hadn't called her out she wouldn't have told me at all, which screams affair not rape. She hasn't wanted to have sex, but that can be explained by the STD (as well as rape). However, when it was "just" oral our sex life didn't suffer. (Yes, btw I have been tested).
I just cant imagine doing those things with a man just to make sure I can keep a job and not have to go home. Why cant she look for another job? Is it that bad to go back home to be with friends and family again?

I think you need to a)make sure his wife knows, b)make sure his boss/company knows, and c)tell her she must leave. I am sure she will not have to pay anything if she tells the company what has happened(if that is really the truth). You have work so cant you both stay as a married couple until your contract ends?

I would have gone to my husband the first time the man even hinted at it.

Last edited by Diana7; 05-15-2017 at 04:48 AM.
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post #15 of 104 (permalink) Old 05-15-2017, 04:32 AM
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Re: When a wife cries rape after an affair

Which country are you from?

In which country do you currently live?

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http://mygeneralblog1.blogspot.co.uk...-cheaters.html (Be afraid UK cheaters! CheaterVille has come to the UK!
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