Originally Posted by straightshooter View Post
Go back and read your posts young lady. You state that you never intended for this to happen but answer another poster in that "you were curious to see what it would be like to be with another man". That is why I asked you if you were being truthful with yourself. Yeah, you may have gotten drunk to reduce your inhibitions but it seems like you purposely stayed in that bar to fulfill your desire to have sex with another man before you got drunk.
That is why I said you need to be truthful to yourself and not tell your husband you fell victim to some super predator.. If you lie it will not ease your guilt.
And by the way, those that tell you it is more than likely to happen again if you do not confess are correct. It means you will have gotten away with it.
Great post ^
I think OP is having remorse, not just over the fact that she did it, but that it was 'planned' a little more than she's making out - and that's no offense to her.
It's easy to blame it on having a few drinks, but that tends to only lower inhibitions and results in people doing something they want to do in the first place, but don't necessarily have the courage to do while sober.
Again, I mean no offense to the OP specifically, but this type of personality is the most dangerous to a marriage, IMO. The one in which a scenario such as this isn't "planned", per se, but it's very much there in the first place. And the end result is "I didn't mean to".
Look - husband's out of town, OP is lonely and bored. She goes out with girlfriends. All that is okay, and perfectly normal. BUT... sticking around, by herself, after her friends have left? For what reason?
People go to (or stay at) bars alone for two reasons - to be social and/or to get laid.
IMO, this was on purpose. That wasn't because she just wasn't ready to go home. Whether one likes it or not, a person (not just a woman) in a bar/pub, alone, is sending out the message that they're there for a reason. We all know this.
And OP was approached, offered a drink, and accepted. This really isn't "one thing led to another". She may not have expected, or hoped for, this to happen, but she was obviously already open to the idea.
If (a huge IF) I were ever in a bar by myself, and was approached by a woman, there's no way in hell I'd engage her unless I was looking for an ego boost. Which I wouldn't be. And if she offered me a drink? Good lord, no. That literally means one thing, and one thing only. And it's not "you look interesting, and I would like to be friends with you".
It may not have been a plan
, but it certainly wasn't avoided.