Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: new england usa
Re: Wife's Emotional Affair
it sounds like your drinking seriously harmed the marriage. As such, it is a big problem. Maybe serious enough to join AA. At the least, go thru the house and throw out anything alcoholic, and never again buy any. Show her, by your actions, that you are serious about fixing yourself.
Maybe try to reconnect with her in some way. Do you both like exercise? Join a gym and work out together. Go on hikes in the woods, climb some mountains, do some kayaking together. If she says "i am going out with my friends, do you want to come?" guess what your answer should be???
She had an EA, and maybe a PA. If you can get over that (many can not), then i would say you both were at the scene of the crime. But doing the above you will be doing your penance. But she has to do some heavy lifting too: All the standard no contact, give you passwords to everything, and on and on.
IF i chose to reconcile with her, i personally would not want to know all the details of the affair, but would want her to commit to being squeaky clean going forward.
in any event in your unique case, i do not see a need to rush to do anthing, including serving her with divorce papers, A little time will show you where it is all headding to.