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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 01-13-2012, 09:46 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

I have never cheated on my wife of 30 years. I wish I could say the same about her. I was making plans for a re run of our our honeymoon and renewed vows when I found out what my wife cheated
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:07 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

well..remember you are on a website that might have a skewed sampling of people.. many have problems here.

Having said that, yes - plenty of men are faithful. We've been together close to 25 years and being faithful hasnt been much of a challenge either.

Good friends of ours have been married for close to 35 years... all good. I'd bet my boots they have been completely faithful.

Both of our parents have been married a very long time and all faithful. (as far as anyone knows) But if there was infidlity - trust me, it would be a big deal.

I dont know. Take a hard look at yourself and your sources of 'common wisdom' before accepting too pessemistic a picture.

Its not all roses and honey of course - marriage in general is more fragile than it used to be since social pressure to stay in it have been largely removed when something goes badly - but I still think the potential benefit of a happy marriage still far FAR outweighs any fear people should have about it not working - including infidelity from either partner.

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Old 01-13-2012, 10:08 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

What a ridiculous, and borderline insulting question. Are there faithful women? Is ANYONE faithful?

I just LOVE posters who make it a gender issue.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:21 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pit-of-my-stomach View Post
Those statistics are absurd. They are no where near accurate.

The numbers are so much higher than that. 1 in 5 ? That's laughable.
No not really. Kinsey also did a study that bears those numbers out (2011). Kinsey came up with about 22% were unfaithful. Not only that - they found that frequency of sex had nothing to do, statistically with the rate of infidelity, which may surprise some - and not much difference between men and women either.

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/publi...%20couples.pdf
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:24 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

My husband is Hispanic...raised in a traditional home.

Abusive, but traditional.

He doesn't agree with cheating, nor is he a cheater.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:32 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

Of course there are faithful men and women alike.

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Originally Posted by lordmayhem View Post
Neither I nor any of my 4 brothers have ever cheated, nor do any of my local buddies. But what did I and 2 of my brothers and 3 of my friends get for being faithful? Cheating wives.
You didn't "get cheating wives" "for being faithful." You got cheating wives because those wives chose to cheat.

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Times have changed.
Eh. Times may be more modern but infidelity has been around since the begining of time. It's the oldest story ever.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:32 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

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Originally Posted by FrankKissel View Post
And you know this how?
With all due respect, I'll side with a 40-year study conducted by the U. Of Chicago (one of the top schools in the country).
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There are so many contridictory studies, one could choose to believe whatever they really wanted to... If your looking for it, there are stats to back anything you wanted to believe...Seriously, this is just a matter of common sense. It's not that I want to believe anything in particular.

These are people. Do you have any idea how many women "take it to the grave" ? or men for that matter. Just people in general... The associated shame, guilt and percived risk of admitting to infidelity assures a large pertentage of people would not be forthright.

This does nothing to address denial, or what one person catagorizes as "fling"... How many people engage in what would be considered by a spouse as an EA yet after the fact the perpetrator dismissed it harmless, just friends. or something else?.. What is the onus for honesty in these studies? If you were to tell me that the participants were assured anonimity and polygraphed, perhaps I internalize the statistics as valid... (if these questions were addressed in this study, my apologee for not having the time to read the entire article.)

I guess it really doesn't matter if these statistics are accurate... It's all academic and I guess mental mastrabation to even argue about it... No one's point could be validated, and we could go round and round. (disclaimer: I didn't read the entire article) I just find the 1 in 5 statistic absurd. 1 in 4, I would have a healthy sceptism but could buy. 1 in 3, would be closer to what I would think accurate... But, that's just me. To each their own. I understand my bias clearly, and realize I can never know the exact truth. I do feel like I know the psychology of people quite well, but they are people in my circles... my truth is that those numbers are not valid.

Respectfully of course, I understand I dont know.
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Last edited by Pit-of-my-stomach; 01-13-2012 at 10:37 AM.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:46 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pit-of-my-stomach View Post
There are so many contridictory studies, one could choose to believe whatever they really wanted to... If your looking for it, there are stats to back anything you wanted to believe...Seriously, this is just a matter of common sense.....
Again - No, not really. Go look at the peer reviewed studies - and they pretty much agree. Thats why they are done, so that our views are not too skewed by what we may think we see in a local environment, or by what someone says on TV, or by what your friends say, or a collection of posts on a website. Rigorous studies put the test to 'common sense' and you cant simply brush them aside. (I mean, you can if you like, but then your are simply engaging in speculation) These studies involve hundreds of couples over decades.

Shrug.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:56 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

Yes, there is.

My husband is 100% faithful to me. He doesn't even look at porn or other women(at least when I'm with him). I've looked through his computer history. Zero porn.

I don't mind at all that my husband only has eyes for me. He finds me very attractive and it shows. I truly have a wonderful man and I appreciate all he does for me. My husband has always put my needs before his as well. I let him know how much I appreciate him and how lucky I am to be his wife.

There are really good men out there.
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:04 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

I can never really know how accurate that is. I don't know if they can either?. I respect the methods & resources invested in gathering these statistics are likely the best available. I'm not disparaging the institution. I do understand I drive a red car, so I tend to see red cars everywhere.... 1 in 5 seems very low.

Respectfully.
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:11 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

There are faithful men, but they are not respected by women- unless they make it clear that they COULD be unfaithful or keep them guessing.
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:20 AM   #27 (permalink)
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There are faithful men, but they are not respected by women- unless they make it clear that they COULD be unfaithful or keep them guessing.
Yes. All women want the kind of man you describe above. :;sarcasm::

Hooray for the cynics and stereotypers!
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Old 01-13-2012, 12:06 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

I have never cheated on girlfriends or wives, its just not in me doing so would alter who I have been my whole life
(hope the question has been answered)
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Old 01-13-2012, 12:37 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

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Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
Yes. All women want the kind of man you describe above. :;sarcasm::

Hooray for the cynics and stereotypers!
Most women don't want doormats or a man she considers below herself in sexual value. I'll stick to my opinion based on a lifetime of experience and observation.

A lot of women you come across asking where all the good men are or why men aren't faithful are the ones who repeatedly choose the 'bad boys" and reject nice faithful men.

Almost all the men on sites like this, who come for advice with cheating wives, follow similar patterns.

If this doesn't apply to you, congratulations.
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Old 01-13-2012, 12:39 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is there such a thing as a faithful man?

If my husband kept me in a state of "is he cheating?" nonsense, I'd leave him.

What garbage. lolllll

Just because a man doesn't cheat DOESN'T make him a doormat.

My husband is every bit of a man...he's the head of our home. He's aggressive in bed (yumm) and we dig our relationship.
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