I am of Latino descent/mixed race, very high needs and enjoy people in general. Come from a quite horrible even nightmarish background, was in some bad relationships and yet, it never occurred to me to cheat. I always tried to solve issues with my spouse/partner, to the point of it being, literally, insane.



In the end I am faithful to myself.
Which is a good thing.
I like to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and no matter how crappy and old I'm looking, I see a face I can trust, even though sometimes she does let things go a little too far in the way of trust in others and misplaced loyalty.
Until I have a divorce in hand, I am still married, and will honor marriage vows at least for my own feelings about the sacredness of that state of being.
I also know a lot of Hispanic men who are kind and faithful, and one who sings when he dances. I don't think this is about race, I think it's about morals. The same is said often about black men but in my experience it's not true. In fact, sometimes I think I did myself wrong by marrying a white guy (the one I'm divorcing)...I could ask the same question, are there any faithful White guys? But as a statistician I realize n of 3 out of the pool of the caucasian population is a very huge sampling error! I think rather it is my choice that is flawed.
For instance, my stbxh is in the military and doesn't like Puerto Ricans? Why? He says they are insular. That so doesn't make sense...he doesn't like people because he's never got to know them?! In my opinion he doesn't like the culture, which is to be supportive of each other. I think he's jealous but the fact of the matter is, if he wasn't so prejudiced (his father is racist, and not knowing I was mixed race, said disparaging things about non-whites...I kept my mouth shut and later dropped a hint...) he would be able to make a few more friends instead of hanging out with the old white guys in his unit. He does like Phillipinos but when he was in Phillipines he had a prostitute for a long while (months, really) so I think that's why. :-|
Trust me, white, black, Hispanic, Chinese, people are people. Either they keep the faith in terms of a relationship, or they don't.
I take full responsibility for having made bad choices. I had dug deeper into that at one time and the result was giving my husband another chance...he had portrayed himself as a nice guy, followed the rules...but my gut when I was 30 told me otherwise and I broke up with him twice. 14 years later I second-guessed my initial gut instinct and gave him another opportunity, I did not dig deep enough into what he had been doing those 14 years but took his word for his past relationships and what he told me turned out not to be true at all. He played by Mr. Nice Guy rules and I got taken in like a frog in a pot of water being heated up. When I reflected back on this I had been in a period of time dealing with a child with a disability who hadn't yet been diagnosed and finding someone who believed in me and supported me and was willing to be helpful was pretty much all it took to cloud my judgement. I thought my son had a tethered spinal cord and he did but it took many years to have it diagnosed, meanwhile he was incontinent and I was judged harshly by many others for having a preschooler, then a Kindergartener and then a child who was of the age for 1st grade who had endless poop and pee accidents all day long. Pretty much I was a sitting duck. I can see how that situation made me needy so that I overlooked red flags. I assumed that his issues were due to the challenges of dealing with my disabled child (who is now more or less fixed surgically).
Anyway, take a long hard look at your relationship choices and see what the common denominator or circumstances might have been during the time the relationship was formed. What made you overlook red flags? What made you stay long enough to be cheated on and/or abused (in my case)? What took away your (good, natural, given) power over self in failed relationships (with cheaters or abusers).
And what can you do about it? This time, I went to therapy for an entire year, and it was good. I have already had to deal with a guy approaching me and treating me badly from the get-go and he is history, he won't even dare show his face any more in my volunteer office. It's actually a little funny, in that I don't hold any bad feelings towards him for his disrespect and trying to finagle me, I had my say and since I won't be dealing with him on anything other than a superficial level, I can enjoy his personality and quirkiness and watch him in action trying to pull off similar maneuvering with others because I won't allow it to hurt me.
Once you know what to look for and get in touch with vulnerabilies on a day to day basis, you are more protected from cheaters and abusers, and not just in intimate relationships. Overall.
There is some U-Tube video out there "The Power of Vulnerability" which is well worth watching.
Sorry about your experience but I don't think it's a race issue at all. If anything, when I hear about this race or that race having a problem with men who are not family-oriented, I cringe, because I think the research on the comparison group (caucasian) is just flawed. When people have more wealth, in general, it is easier to hide deceit, or it doesn't have the same economic effect on women and children and so it is highly discounted as a real 'problem', even though in my opinion it is the SAME problem, regardless of how it plays out in the lives of the affected families.