Bodhitree

Here is what spouse has told me about affair:
Went out to dinner with him at restaurant.
Ate dinner at his house two times.
Contact with him was only over two week period. -Cell phone records support this time frame.
She told him to quit texting and calling since d day and says she has no contact with him at work. Cell phone activity shows no texts or calls since d day.
Has come home at normal hours of work since d day- nothing out of ordinary here.
Says she did not have any sexual encounters with him.
Says he tried to kiss her and she rejected.
Says she was into the attention he was giving her because I wasn't and that it was not a PA.
She admitted to lying about where she was on each of three times she was with him.
Had opportunity to stay the night with him on one of the nights- I had told her not to f***king come back home because she wasn't calling me back - but she came back home.
Hates to talk to me about it but still manages to do so when I bring up the affair.
Now the hard part- how in the hell do I know what is true and what isn't? At this point does it even matter given what she has told me. If she was still lying or there was still more to it wouldn't she have made up lies about her whereabouts during affair- there would be no way for me to know the truth. At this point, I am focused on knowing MORE details rather than less. But its been three months and this is what she has told me. We are in MC and trying to recover but I keep thinking there is more she isn't telling me. How long do I pursue asking her more questions only to get same answers that nothing more happened?. WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO KNOW? Thanks for any input.

that_girl

I think she's lying about the physical part.

She went to his house twice just for dinner and rejected a kiss? Either she's lying or she's a total prick tease.

You keep having that nagging feeling that there's something more because there IS something more.

I don't buy it for a second that it wasn't a PA.

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tacoma

I`d never be able to believe they weren`t physical after spending that much time together alone.

I don`t know how you`re going to get those answers.

sigma1299

You realize that the odds of them having had dinner together three times, two of which were at his house, and not having had sex are very very slim don't you? You also realize that cheaters lie right?

I guessing that since they had dinner at his house he's not married? The best source of accurate data would be to reveal to his wife if he were and them compare stories with her, but if he's not married that's a nonstarter.

Most cheaters who don't like to talk about their affair don't like to do so because they're afraid they'll inadvertently let a detail slip that they haven't thus far or that they'll reveal a lie. The whole idea of it's just too shameful for the WS to talk about it pretty much rubbish. If someone is remorseful and has taken ownership of what they've done, talking about it really isn't that big of a deal.

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**Cheaters - Read This**

rrrbbbttt

Okay, should be no problem for her to take a Polygraph.

If you really want to be devious , may want to confront the guy and say my wife says " You raped her" See what he says.

bryanp

Going to his house and having dinner with him a couple of times says it all. Do you think she went there to play checkers? She is lying to you. Have her take a polygraph for about $300. She is trickle truthing you. It is called damage control and minimizing what actually went on.

If the roles were reversed do you honestly think she would believe such garbage from you and be as accepting as you have been? She totally disrespected you and your marriage. If you do not respect yourself then who will? By the way the both of you need to be tested for STD's. Good luck.

snap

My WW hurled all sorts of proof at me to support she wasn't seeing the OM during our false R: the call logs, alibis, that she wouldn't have enough time.

Turned out they did it in 15 minutes, the alibi was fake, and nothing was in the logs as they fixed the date in person.

In my experience, one tends to be right by assuming the worst. Cynical, but can't help it.

warlock07

Here is what she told you

Lies

More Lies

tacoma

That`s more evil than devious.

I love it!

"I thought my wife was having an affair with you but she says it was rape and I`m calling the cops. Is there anything you want to say about this whole mess?"

I`ll remember that one for sure.

that_girl

maybe she threw a statistic in there too....

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TRy

She lied because she knew what she was doing was cheating.

If in your state cheating mattered in determining a divorce division of assets, dinner alone at his house and lying to you about it is all the evidence that a judge would need in ruling in your favor. She cheated beyond a reasonable doubt.

Shaggy

So either she is lying teasing emotionsl cheater or she is a lying physical cheater.

This one a very simple black- white question for the polygraph.
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2xloser

While ya can't jump to the conclusion they definitely had sex, there's really a difficult straight-face test to believing "nothing happened"... all the experienced folks here will tell you, almost without fail: When there's doubt and uncertainty, trust your gut because it's almost always right.

You are far enough away from original DDay that your gut feeling is not a purely emotional reaction -- you are unwittingly reading subtle body, eye, facial signals, because you still know this person.

And like tacoma, I absolutely LOVE rrrrbbbttt's rape confrontation ploy!

Kallan Pavithran

Go for poly it can give you more peace of mind for your entire life. It can only give you that.
If she said truth then fine, if she lied then do the needful.

Kallan Pavithran

Try to find out whether they have took it UNDERGROUND