Girlfriend of three years turned disloyal
If you are about to read this; be prepared. This is a long story. Me and my girlfriend started out as two 15 year old teenagers, we fell deeply for eachother and went on to become best friends and connected in the most deepest of ways and brought out parts of each other we didn't even know we had. We had the most amazing relationship and were both convinced this was real love.
That was before things turned bad. We both went in the same class, a class consisting of only females except for me and one other guy. Quite understandably, this was hard for her. With her finding out about my fantasies and me checking out our classmates, things turned really ugly. I was still deeply in love with this girl and wanted nothing but her, but couldn't find ANY convincing ways to show this to her (as stupid as I was)
This went on for a year, until I found out ways to show her that SHE was the one for me and we both finally felt at peace and happy in our relationship. The thing is, all this had hurted her self-esteem to a degree that she started seeking attention from other men. First I thought it was a one time occurance, when I found out she had been writing and entertaining the liking of another man (no actual cheating occured though). After this occurance, even more of these instances went on and she continued doing things of this nature, always telling me that she would stop and this was the last time. As much as I loved her and wanted us to work, I chose to trust her again and again.
All this happened until I found out she had done something which hurt me so badly that I ended the relationship. Although, this time I can tell by the way she writes and talks to me that she regrets how she has been, so badly and I KNOW that she means it and would NEVER do anything like it again. The thing is, that if this would have happened half a year ago, I would feel absolutely complete and happy, but after everything she has done, I honestly feel nothing from her, in fact, heartwarming and loving proofs of love. I honestly don't know what to do now, because it feels as though as she is too late, but the really heartbreaking part is that I would be euphoric to have her act this way, if she just were earlier. What do I do? Somehow it feels so strange to let her go now that she has actually changed, but then again, I feel hurt by the mere sight of her and have a hard time believing I could ever forgive her and let alone trust her. If I do forgive her, how would I do such a thing and if I were to not forgive her, how would I get over all this hurt and should I look for someone new?
I am currently feeling very lost and confused, the clock being 2:30 am in my country and my girlfriend continously showing her new love and loyalty to me via text, while I can do nothing but not reply, since it hurts to do as much as write to her and since I don't want to give her any false hope of us reconciling. I think I still love her and I am sure that I still care for her and wish her all the best in her life.
Grateful for all answers / an 18 year old believer in true love, learning about himself and about relationships, the hard way
Last edited by Adampalo; 06-18-2017 at 07:25 PM.