Re: My wife cheated on me for 3.5 years
A few things...
1. Expose the affair to OM's wife ASAP. Doing this will significantly increase your chances of squashing the affair. Plus she has the right to know.
2. Take this as Gospel: for as long as they're working together (or in the same building or whatever), the affair is still on. She gets a new job -- and ASAP -- or you file for divorce.
3. She goes 100% no contact with OM -- immediately and permanently -- or you file for divorce.
4. DNA your kid -- the affair may have been going on for much longer than 3.5 years. Also, this might not be her first affair.
5. Get your hands on as much evidence (back up her phone and extract texts, etc) as you can get and back it up in a couple of different cloud locations.
6. All ^this^ aside, given that your wife was actively trying to get this POS to leave his wife for her, you might as well just go ahead and file.
7. If OM posts nudes of your wife anywhere, he'll be committing not only a civil offense, but a criminal offense as well, so don't let that threat keep you from doing the right thing.
Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."
Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."