My heart just pours forth sympathy for this poor, unfortunate guy, greatly to the point that I can only hope that he gets to truly experience the fastidious accolades of the "drip, drip, drip of gonorrhea!"
Try taking that home and sharing that with your wife!
Stupid, Stupid man. He made so many stupid decisions and is now seeing the consequences. I am glad his wife left him, so many spouses act pathetically when there is cheating.
He says he doesn't know how the affair happened, but what I think he really means is that he doesn't know how his marriage ended.
He knows how the affair happened..... he had the opportunity for a side piece and took it.
He didn't think his wife would find out and certainly didn't think she'd dump him. That much is obvious from his attempt to abuse and manipulate her back with threats of dating the other woman. He thought his wife wanted him so much that she'd panic and take him back.
His bluff was called, and he's now trying to understand why his wife didn't fold and he wasn't such a prize that his threat would work.
You know, he will not be able to deal with this until he stops lying to himself.
I couldn't understand how my stupid revenge affair happened. Until I stopped lying to myself.
It happened because I made a series of utterly stupid, disastrous decisions which concluded in the ultimate act of betrayal of not only my wife but of who I was.
He knows but also knows that the best strategy is to minimize his cheating. I have been on both ends of that dog. Do you think he is going to tell you that he saw a woman that he just had to have sex with and liked her better than you. That the sex was way better and she has none of your annoying habits. Nope, he is going to say whatever has the least impact on him. I was drunk is good for one night stands. For affairs, I used to use that I was just attracted to her and I do not know why since I do not even like her as a person. Pheromones or something.
I left my wife for 1 month to be with the woman I was having an affair with. The sex was great and there was a lot of it. Eventually I came to my senses and went back to my wife. We decided to not be monogamous as I was incapable of it and my wife knew this before she married me. Luckily my wife discovered her bisexuality and so she wanted to have sex with women too. So we did it together in threesomes and it all worked out well for us. Married for over 44 years. We both agree that had we insisted on monogamy, we would have divorced a very long time ago. We both need another women in our life. We adjusted to each other's sexual and emotional needs. What we did was to choose our marriage over monogamy. Difficult for many to do since it has been ingrained into them that sex outside marriage is the worst thing in the world you can do. There is still the idea of ownership of each other in some way. We looked at marriage and saw all our friends and family divorcing due to cheating or some other reason. Figured that monogamous marriage only gave us a 50% chance of succeeding so perhaps ethical non monogamy had better odds. For us it did but we are not like most couples.
All of us are capable of being monogamous. Faithfulness is vital in marriage and we just have to use self-control. There is no such thing as ethical non-monogamy, it's called adultery.
And all of us are capable of cheating, stealing and killing. We all don't have self-control 100% of the time. "ethical non-monogamy" is more an opinion than anything else. There is non-ethical monogamy, ya know.
We are all human. Your way works for you, but we're not you.
Many of us will never kill, cheat or steal. There is no such thing as ethical adultery. if you are not mature and have no self-control, then stay single.
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Related Threads
?
?
?
?
?
Talk About Marriage
4.9M posts
105.3K members
Since 2007
A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more!