In my opinion, you can't prevent cheating because if someone wants to cheat then they will.
You can certainly prevent yourself from cheating, but as far as I'm concerned you can't really control someone else. :/ Posted via Mobile Device
No, you can't stop a person from cheating. That's obvious.
You can, however, work to create a relationship that is significantly less vulnerable to the temptations that lead cheating. Even then, of course, nothing is 100 percent certain. But people tend not to cheat when in strong, healthy, loving relationships in which their emotional, mental and physical needs are being met. Posted via Mobile Device
No, you can't stop a person from cheating. That's obvious.
You can, however, work to create a relationship that is significantly less vulnerable to the temptations that lead cheating. Even then, of course, nothing is 100 percent certain. But people tend not to cheat when in strong, healthy, loving relationships in which their emotional, mental and physical needs are being met. Posted via Mobile Device
And BOTH acknowledging that even happy spouses can fall into an affair IF they are not constantly vigilant in observing marital boundaries such as the ones that_girl spelled out in her post.
And BOTH acknowledging that even happy spouses can fall into an affair IF they are not constantly vigilant in observing marital boundaries such as the ones that_girl spelled out in her post.
Its a common myth that infidelity only happens in troubled marriages.
The common belief nowadays is that if the wife cheats, its because the husband has been a lousy husband and not meeting her needs. If the husband cheats, its because he's a dog.
The common belief nowadays is that if the wife cheats, its because the husband has been a lousy husband and not meeting her needs.If the husband cheats, its because he's a dog.
Indeed. Sex is treated as though it was an animal issue not worthy of any consideration as the other 'emotional needs'. The dismissive people don't realize that it is not so much the lack of sex that is the issue but what is behind it, lack of caring. How often has a husband (or wife) had sex with an AP who was way inferior in all aspects to their LS (BS)? Quite enough.
I'm not in any way shape or form excusing the above - THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR AN AFFAIR. But if the people who push the 'emotional needs' wish to be honest with themselves and others, they should then consider sex as a worthy 'emotional need as well.
I'm just getting the typical response of "Well, he didn't do anything wrong." Then do I wait until he does something wrong, like get other women's numbers or cheat?
I'm just wondering if there is anything that I can do to prevent my husband from cheating. My thing is that I like to set clear expectations about his and my behaviors. We don't have opposite gender friends. Things like that.
Oh, I though you were asking about your self, so no you can't pervent your H from cheating.
And this comes from a guy that takes the stance that in a relationship its all about me and what I except and tolorate and what I do to have a healthy relationship.
As far as what my partner does well that is all on her and in how I meet her needs and the response I get from and the enjoyment I recieve in giving as much as I get, as I'm recieving my needs being met.
Bottom line in my world, is you can't prevent it but you can verify and have the right to verify if someone is being loyal or not, and the ability to protect your self from betrayal.
I gues I'm bad in the fact that i think trust is over rated and faith and having faith is were I'm at...but trust......I lost that when I found my wife cheating......I will never be the same!!!!!
Hey 30mom-----give some info., and particulars on your situation, so we can give advice based on a fact situation---then you will get some specific help
Can cheating be prevented? Is it preventable? Thanks.
Sure it can be prevented.
Not putting down the concept of working on a relationship, because it should be worked on.
But not out of fear that someone will cheat. Nobody should have to bend over backwards to keep someone of questionable character from doing something they know they shouldn't do in the first place. I call it emotional extortion. "Do as I want, I I'll get my kicks elsewhere"
It takes two to make a relationship work, but if one has the mindset that if things don't go perfectly their way, and view it as an excuse to cheat, then they don't need to be in a relationship. Because NOBODY will meet all the needs of another. NO relationship is going to be perfect.
I cheated for one reason, and one reason alone: our sex life stunk. I travel a fair amount for my job (sales) and I had a 3-year affair with a former co-worker who also traveled, and who came to my city fairly frequently, and I went to hers. I also built up to this crazy climactic year in which I slept with three other co-workers. That all ended, but now it looks like I might be getting together with the three-year affair woman again. (She's also married). My marriage is otherwise fairly good. No money problems, she looks great, I keep in shape, kids are good...but she stinks in bed, and she always has. Now, it just doesn't happen. There's always a million reasons for it to not happen. And we fight about it. I can't believe she'd rather fight about it than actually do it! And my sexual skills must be half-decent, because all the women I slept with back during my out-of-control time came back for at least a second round. So ladies, you've got to provide that for your husband, because he's likely to stray otherwise.
I cheated for one reason, and one reason alone: our sex life stunk. I travel a fair amount for my job (sales) and I had a 3-year affair with a former co-worker who also traveled, and who came to my city fairly frequently, and I went to hers. I also built up to this crazy climactic year in which I slept with three other co-workers. That all ended, but now it looks like I might be getting together with the three-year affair woman again. (She's also married). My marriage is otherwise fairly good. No money problems, she looks great, I keep in shape, kids are good...but she stinks in bed, and she always has. Now, it just doesn't happen. There's always a million reasons for it to not happen. And we fight about it. I can't believe she'd rather fight about it than actually do it! And my sexual skills must be half-decent, because all the women I slept with back during my out-of-control time came back for at least a second round. So ladies, you've got to provide that for your husband, because he's likely to stray otherwise.
THIS is the attitude that makes men seem like dogs.
I don't have sex with my husband because I don't want him to cheat. I have sex with him because he's beautifully amazing and sexy as hell. maybe she doesn't want to sleep with you because she knows you're banging everything in sight.
I cheated for one reason, and one reason alone: our sex life stunk. I travel a fair amount for my job (sales) and I had a 3-year affair with a former co-worker who also traveled, and who came to my city fairly frequently, and I went to hers. I also built up to this crazy climactic year in which I slept with three other co-workers. That all ended, but now it looks like I might be getting together with the three-year affair woman again. (She's also married). My marriage is otherwise fairly good. No money problems, she looks great, I keep in shape, kids are good...but she stinks in bed, and she always has. Now, it just doesn't happen. There's always a million reasons for it to not happen. And we fight about it. I can't believe she'd rather fight about it than actually do it! And my sexual skills must be half-decent, because all the women I slept with back during my out-of-control time came back for at least a second round. So ladies, you've got to provide that for your husband, because he's likely to stray otherwise.
You should just divorce your wife; you're being extremely selfish, IMO.
You should just divorce your wife; you're being extremely selfish, IMO.
Oh, I am being selfish. I'm not looking to be defended here. And she has no clue, none, that I'm doing this. There's no way she could ever sit on her doubts or worries, if she really thought I was fooling around. In fact, it would be over.
But as far as me being selfish, what am I getting out of this? I provide well (which she sure as hell doesn't mind, the way she spends it), I've been a very devoted father, I'm not staggering home drunk, and I have no reason to expect her to meet me halfway in the bedroom?
By the way, I haven't been with another woman in about 4 1/2 years. But that streak is likely to end.
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