dealing with the OM harsh comments
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 01-22-2012, 06:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default dealing with the OM harsh comments

4 years ago next month my wife had an one night stand with a guy. he was a complete ass, not saying my wife was any better.
After having our son she had postpartum depression a real ********* started hitting on her work. he made her feel pretty and wanted she say she got caught up in the fog. I know it sounds like i am making excuse for her, but she fastly came out of the fog. he started braging at work that he f#@$ed her and she was a dead F*&#. this has been 4 years ago and he still brags about it if he sees ppl that know us. we use to be kinda friends with the ass hole. Its like the guy never got out of high school and he is 40 years old. my wife got a new job due to this stuff and i demanded she to get a new job if we where to stay married. my wife was very drunk when this happened.

just last week a good friend of mine and my wifes cousin where at a party with some friend. the OM was there with all guys he said to my friend, your friends with joe yeah i F"ed" his wife and she was the worst i ever had. My friend told the guy that my wife and I where good ppl that we went threw some problems but we dont deserve this from him.

the reason the guy does the kind of stuff is because after my wifes A i started watching the guy and found he was sleeping with 2 others. i told his wife about the others and she left him and took the kids. he still blames it on me when he gets drunk he will text me the same text F#&# you and your *****.

this is getting old and is probly the only thing keeping me from being 100% happy with my wife.this crap is a trigger for me i get mad at my wife and blow up.

How do you deal with crap like this.
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Old 01-22-2012, 06:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

First, why does he even have your #? Block it today. He sounds like a total dog. Ugh.
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Old 01-22-2012, 06:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

He makes himself look like an ass when he tells people what he does about your wife.

Blocking your his number from your phone, or getting a new phone number, is about the only thing you can do.
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Old 01-22-2012, 06:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

I suppose his behavior is the continuing consequences of your wife's affair.

Legally, I dont think there's much you can do. It will be difficult to get him for defamation because he's telling his version of "truth". But see what a good defamation lawyer say. Maybe there's some other legal ground you can pursue? Probably too expensive.

You may want to start documenting the time, location, statements made, who was present, etc for future reference?
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Old 01-22-2012, 06:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

yeah i called the cops on him years ago the said it was nothing i could realy do. i will tell i am paying the price for my wife screw up. i dont want to change my # because i use it for my business and all my customers have it.
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Old 01-22-2012, 07:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

Get a lawyer, there may be a civil action you can take that will shut this guy up. Especially if his remarks start to bring his "friends" into court.
Often poeple are most often effected when they are hit in the pocket book.
It may not cost much to have a lawyer write up some threatening letters and stire this up enough to stop going down that old road.

Granted the money you spend on having some threatening letter will not work but its enough for awhile until you save up enough to really take hime to court.

My thinking is that even the slightest hint of a civil action that will not only drag his "friends" in to court but also the POS then one would think at the very least they would stop talking about these painful remarks to you in fear of having to show up to court and losea days pay.

So go ahead and take some civil action (threatening letter from law firm)that will scare the POS and others from talking about this .
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Old 01-22-2012, 07:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

see if in your state they allow a partner to actually sue the op for damages caused from an affair. i believe some states allow for this.
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Old 01-22-2012, 08:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

You can't really stop him. Besides physical "convincing" which I strongly prefer but don't advise, he'll slither his way out of any harassment suit you throw at him. Either move away or be the better man and suck it up, as bitter as it is.
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Old 01-22-2012, 09:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

He's tellng the truth so it's not slander, and it is honestly a long term consequence of her deciding to cheat. Frankly, she got to keep her family despite her cheating, so i think she got off easy.
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

He needs a good "leg whipping" ala Murphy brothers and Rick James.
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

Since he keeps showing up all your personal outings and events, why don't you start by getting a restraining order? After then, I'd suggest getting an attorney to file some kind of civil suit on this a-hole. I guess my question to you is HOW did you not take any action yet?? There must be a reason why, honestly, I don't believe that you'd just let this guy run a muck into your family's lives.

My inner lawyer-ness also wants to slap a sexual harassment lawsuit on that d-bag...
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:33 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

Hey Cheese----send him a registered letter, and tell him that if you find out that he has talked to anyone else, about what went on tween him and your wife---you will sue him for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress----you can't get him for slander, cuz in truth your wife did have sex with him---but his telling everyone he sees about what happened, for the last 4 years, is beyond norm---tell him you have had enuff, and you will file the civil action------he does not have to know, how serious you are, but hopefully that will shut him up----beyond that , there isn't much you can do, cuz in reality your wife, did what she did---it's just part of the fallout from infidelity, when a spouse cheats, they don't realize the horrible consequences their action may produce.
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:40 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: dealing with the OM harsh comments

Hire some thugs and have them kick the **** out of him.
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:46 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Ok maybe it's the late hour or my own triggers but at this point (4 years) I would be to the point of teaching him a lesson and would beat his ass. I don't encourage you to do that as it will likely cause you legal troubles. But if he is openly humiliating you and your wife (regardless of her guilt in the affair) he deserves an ass whooping. I know I'm going to get some flak for saying it but you need to find your balls and confront him. I'm sure your wife would also appreciate you defending her honor (again regardless of her guilt in the affair I'm sure she wants you to protect her from this jerk). Again don't go looking for a fight but if you do beat his ass please let us know
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:47 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Unhappy2011 View Post
Hire some thugs and have them kick the **** out of him.
Don't hire anyone, do it yourself. So much more satisfying lol. J/K. Don't get arrested.
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