Interesting list. Out of that list, I think my wife would say she was bored.
From the book:
Yeah, but can't you get excitement from other things in life? I can't see how boredom lead to an affair. I can see it coupled with other things, but just boredom?
Yeah, but can't you get excitement from other things in life? I can't see how boredom lead to an affair. I can see it coupled with other things, but just boredom?
Many people have the false belief that life should be a never ending series of exciting events. When they are in a committed relationship like marriage, they soon realize that their spouse will not be providing them with a steady diet of excitement. So they get involved with another man/woman because the simple act that they are doing something forbidden, gives them the rush and excitement they crave. These people don't necessarily want to end their marriage but simply 'supplement it' so they can keep themselves from being bored out of their minds. Needless to say, these people have not matured into adults but have gotten stuck in an extended adolescence.
Many people have the false belief that life should be a never ending series of exciting events. When they are in a committed relationship like marriage, they soon realize that their spouse will not be providing them with a steady diet of excitement. So they get involved with another man/woman because the simple act that they are doing somethging forbidden, gives them the rush and excitement they crave. These people don't necessarily want to end their marriage but simply 'supplement it' so they can keep themselves from being bored out of their minds. Needless to say, these people have not matured into adults but have gotten stuck in an extended adolescence.
The stuff above in the blue only applies to "Normal" marriages, applying it to a MLC situation, most of it does not wash as many will tell you.
I was always there for my wife, did more than 50% of everything around the house because I had a home office. We never had sex less than three times a week for 24 years except during pregnancy and just after childbirth and I used to talk with her everyday about everything and anything while taking her to work. I complimented on how she looked everyday. I kept myself in good shape ( 6'2" 180lbs), and she bragged me up for years to the girls at work, but all the above was still not enough.
The switch went off for my wife at age 44, she took off for some guy she met online playing World of Warcraft, left a house with no mortgage and two kids to live in a one bedroom apartment, hooking up with the out of town OM on weekends. I swear it's more like mental illness than anything else.
Agreed. Thats why I want to reach through the screen sometimes and punch someone in the face when I read the standard response that she wouldn't have cheated if you were there for her emotionally. We can't read there freaking minds. When we try to ask whats wrong I got the dreaded "N" word (Nothing!). I did my best to communicate and give her validation at the expense of my own. I know my emotional and sexual needs weren't being met yet I never damn cheated!!! Posted via Mobile Device
Agreed. Thats why I want to reach through the screen sometimes and punch someone in the face when I read the standard response that she wouldn't have cheated if you were there for her emotionally.
[QUOTE=Saffron;565898]Think it's important to remember this is not all women, just those that did cheat and their thought process behind it.
I'm been married 15 years and faithful the whole time, my H is the one who cheated. I'm a very sexual person, so that is or was not a problem in our marriage. My H fully admits, he probably would've had sex with the OW more often if we didn't have such a great sex life, it was more about the ego boost for him.
That being said, I wonder if the train of thought of these women are similar to the trrain of thought in male cheaters too. More like a "cheating mentality" regardless of male or female.
This is pretty much my experience. I was married for over 20 years to a person who put everyone's needs ahead of mine and treated me like I didn't have a brain in my head ( my IQ is over 140 ). He also smacked me around. I stayed with him because of religion. When I started a new career, I was treated with respect ( I was the boss ). The contrast was too much to reconcile, and I made more money then he did so no reason to continue taking s*&^. I D'd him and moved on. I married again to a really nice guy who was so gentile and kind, I was in heaven. For nearly 20 years I was well pleased with the M. He, was getting older and his ego was getting dinged( so was mine, but he was my comfort ). Along came the inevitable married Wh)&% and started hitting on him ( he didn't mention it to me). He started blameing all of his frustrations on me, without bothering to tell me what he was thinking. I worked hard on my first M, and my decision to end it was an honest one. I worked hard on the second one too. In neither case was I treated with the respect I deserved. Cheating is a selfish and dishonest thing to do. This type of thinking is not gender specific, although men still have a slight edge because of the " I'm a man" defense that women often hear; he told me that Tony Sorprono had a misstress, so he didn't think it was a bid deal. Who ever does it, it's a lousy thing to do to someone who loves and trusts you.
Yeah, but can't you get excitement from other things in life? I can't see how boredom lead to an affair. I can see it coupled with other things, but just boredom?
I'm just going by something I read in an email her (also) cheating friend sent her at the time:
"We need to love someone like we do these two gents or we would fade into the monotony of our lives."
Look, it seems all this emotional mumbo jumbo has everyone's head spinning. I don't see why people don't just let people be. Some folks are made for monotony...I mean monogomy, some arent. Due to the pressure by (fill in blank with family, society, etc), some "do the right thing". There is 2 women to every man, so you tell me 1/2 the women in the world don't deserve love? How selfish of you. Women crave excitement, and passion and disney fairy tales, if they see the need to chase that, they are the ones accruing the mileage, not you. I just think there are some overly emotional crybabies who feel that they deserve the attention of one individual, well ask yourself this, "what am I doing to deserve all this, and am I doing it?" A lot of what I said is devil's advocacy, however, think about it. Some people are dreamers, some are chasers and some are settlers, which are you?
Look, it seems all this emotional mumbo jumbo has everyone's head spinning. I don't see why people don't just let people be. Some folks are made for monotony...I mean monogomy, some arent. Due to the pressure by (fill in blank with family, society, etc), some "do the right thing". There is 2 women to every man, so you tell me 1/2 the women in the world don't deserve love? How selfish of you. Women crave excitement, and passion and disney fairy tales, if they see the need to chase that, they are the ones accruing the mileage, not you. I just think there are some overly emotional crybabies who feel that they deserve the attention of one individual, well ask yourself this, "what am I doing to deserve all this, and am I doing it?" A lot of what I said is devil's advocacy, however, think about it. Some people are dreamers, some are chasers and some are settlers, which are you?
lol.
How'd you get outta your restraints?
For god's sake, put that helmet back on!! your gonna hurt yourself!!
Usually the response from a person without a response, attack the poster. lol, i expected that, and it was obvious the entire post wasn't read. Just some thought provoking, that's all. relax.
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Re: Women’s Infidelity Book 
