Re: Desperately want to end wife's affair
First I'd like to say that I am so sorry that you are in this situation, secondly I am sorry for being so late to this thread, but I have been triggering pretty badly with this one and haven't been able to post. I'm not meaning to thread jack here but I feel you need to know some of my background. While I may not be as experienced and wise as many other posters in this forum I sadly have an abundance of experience in your marital situation.
I was with my exh for almost 25 years. Two and a half years ago I finally saw who he really was. I got fb messages saying he was messing around with his ex gf, she lives accross the country, but he still managed to spend a month or two back there for work each year. Then I found out there was another ons when he had my sons there for a vacation. Then I found numerous EA's, one was with his nephews wife. She asked him to go visit her so she could "make his fantasies come true". Right after that he asked if we could go visit her. He would come home at 4am from hanging with a female co-worker. There was lots of verbal abuse, discussions of my weight, telling me it was a waste to spend money on me. At one point in time there was some physical abuse, little roughing up but no punching or kicking. I had some pretty invasive surgery and came down with pneumonia after. When I was released from the hospital under his care and in need of supervision, he left to go spare for a baseball game and came home 5 hours later. He truly was a POS, there is more but I think you can get the point.
Even after all of this happened I never cheated on him. I could have easily excused my cheating with his behaviour, but when I married him I meant my vows. I honestly and truly believe there is no excuse for cheating. So when you want to buy into your wifes bs that it's part your fault, please think of me. I personally think you should pack her bags and drop her off at the OM's house, without your credit cards or car, if he wants her let him have her and support her.
Consilio et animis