What now?

fightingfor love · 02-01-2012, 05:54 AM

yes i have read it....... thanks

morituri · 02-01-2012, 06:31 AM

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Originally Posted by movin on

she has been working hard to make things right.here is the issues i still have
1.she had tattoo boy on her friends list on fb even though she said she did not like him and wanted him gone
2.she said she felt guilty after night 1 at the beach but she gave him her cell # to call her the next day.
3.she said she did not like the guy she meet at the beach...but she text him everyday for two weeks after. every day she would send the first text so that tells me she did like him.
4.women may lie but the cell phone bill speaks the truth.
5.she had to do alot of planning to hook up with him the next weekend,she said she didnt but she went to the hotel and he would not have showed up unless she told him where she would be.that tells me alot.
6.when he text her she would respond almost immediatly.

So fightingfor love how do you explain these issues that your husband is trying to understand since your explanations to him do not match your actions?

JustaJerk · 02-01-2012, 06:41 AM

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let the bashing begin.
for those of youwho may have missed it ....i am moving on's wife.

What for... he's already forgiven you.

He's the one who has to live with this decision.

This is pretty sick, though.

Quote:

the worst part is she did it with men she did not know.

Try and live that one down.

fightingfor love · 02-02-2012, 11:19 AM

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Originally Posted by morituri

So fightingfor love how do you explain these issues that your husband is trying to understand since your explanations to him do not match your actions?

i am working on this with him ......as for giving you an explanition....i don't owe anyone on here an explination on here! that is between him and i!

fightingfor love · 02-02-2012, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustaJerk

What for... he's already forgiven you.

He's the one who has to live with this decision.

This is pretty sick, though.

Try and live that one down.

have i mentioned that your username fits you perfectly?

morituri · 02-02-2012, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fightingfor love

i am working on this with him ......as for giving you an explanition....i don't owe anyone on here an explination on here! that is between him and i!

Copping an attitude with me or others here will not serve you one bit.

Almostrecovered · 02-02-2012, 11:49 AM

one of the best ways to be controlling is to cut off outside influences

morituri · 02-02-2012, 12:25 PM

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Originally Posted by Almostrecovered

one of the best ways to be controlling is to cut off outside influences

You're right. From her arrogant attitude it wouldn't surprise me if she was able to pvssy whip him and threaten him with divorce if he continues to come to this forum for advice. I hope this isn't the case but these things do happen.

Shaggy · 02-02-2012, 12:32 PM

Ok fighting, you dumped your cheating friend, etc.

But what are you changing in you and how you view your husband?

The friends only set the environment, it was you that chose to pursue the cheating and the affair. That was you and your personal values at work. After all you are an adult and that means you and you alone own responsibility for your choices and actions.

So what is changing inside you that will stop you from doing it again? We both know you are fully capable of going outside and hooking up without guilt,or at least without enough real guilt that if would stop you.

If you want your husband to try and enter in a second chance marriage with you, what is going be different inside you? Cause your husband does not want to be married to that old you. That's the chick that pursued men cheated repeatedly and lied right to his face. She shuttled the kids off to grandmas so she could spend nights in a hotel with another guy.

If you want a second chance,that woman needs to go away and a new woman needs to replace her.

Dumping a friend and going to some therapy and saying sorry ain't gonna do it. Those are easy superficial things. They haven't charged how you make decisions.
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Shaggy · 02-02-2012, 12:34 PM

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Originally Posted by fightingfor love

i am working on this with him ......as for giving you an explanition....i don't owe anyone on here an explination on here! that is between him and i!

So then your not here for advice and discussion? That leaves cutting off your husbands access to the advice and discussion. Is that why you joined.?
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fightingfor love · 02-02-2012, 01:10 PM

i'm not trying to sabotage this thread or my husband getting advice from anyone here ........he is the one that encouraged me to join.

i apologize if i came across as defensive or hateful to anyone here.
i was a commpletly different person 8 months ago than i am now! i take full responsibility for my actions.......i know it was me that made the choice to cheat.

believe it or not i don't have every answer he is looking for but i ansewr every question he has honestly.i know it's gonna be a long hard journey to get my marriage back.

at the same time i'm also dealing with both mental and sexual abuse from my childhood at the same time ! i have plenty of guilt . i just recently revealed things to him that i have never told anyone and we have been together for almost 21 years!
really im not trying to make this about me ..... i just wanted to give some insight to what i'm going thru.......somedays i think he would be better off if he had never met my crazy A$$!

i have given up drinking .
i have put my family first again ........i know it's gonna be a long had road but im willing to do whatever it takes to save my marriage.

fightingfor love · 02-02-2012, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morituri

Copping an attitude with me or others here will not serve you one bit.

you're right and i apologize!

fightingfor love · 02-02-2012, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morituri

You're right. From her arrogant attitude it wouldn't surprise me if she was able to pvssy whip him and threaten him with divorce if he continues to come to this forum for advice. I hope this isn't the case but these things do happen.

that's not me....... how can you say that when you don't even know me! i would never do such a thing. i 'm not like that at all.

movin on · 02-02-2012, 01:30 PM

she was not the person i knew for about 6 months,she had alot of friends telling her stuff that wasnt true and she now knows that they did not have her best interest in the advice they gave.she got rid of anyone she was friends with during that time,most of them were her friends before she knew me so i know she does want this to work.btw i am the one who wanted a divorce, she was dead set against it.

morituri · 02-02-2012, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fightingfor love

that's not me....... how can you say that when you don't even know me! i would never do such a thing. i 'm not like that at all.

I agree that you don't owe us anything, only your husband. But you've got to admit that the attitude in your post left a bad impression considering what you had done to him and to yourself - the worst betrayal is the one you did to yourself.