she was not the person i knew for about 6 months,she had alot of friends telling her stuff that wasnt true and she now knows that they did not have her best interest in the advice they gave.she got rid of anyone she was friends with during that time,most of them were her friends before she knew me so i know she does want this to work.btw i am the one who wanted a divorce, she was dead set against it.
movin nowhere, of COURSE she doesn't want a divorce! Men like you are hard to find. Most secure healthy men kick their women to the curb when that woman goes out and finds other men to put their penises in her. Guys like you who will accept the pain and betrayal and come back for more are, well, not rare enough, but it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.
The infidelity, the hot river sex with tattoo boy, the drunken love-fest with the guy she didn't know? That's on her, 100%.
The part where you accept her behavior, hoping that she doesn't do it again, that's on YOU, 100%. Live with the consequences of your choice. TAM will be here for the next episode, and the one after that, too.
[QUOTE=Jonesey;569805]On the off chance you are for real.And not one of those troll
that likes to wind pople up.
Rose
Seriously get som profesional help please.
I mean this
Reconciliation is a long challenging road... but in my mind a marriage is worth it... For better or worse... and tough love had to be implemented to have it sink in.
Try to see whats wrong with this above.
Couldn't you have booted him out earlier? instead of
playing a martyr..That way you would haved your need meet
with out having to go to bed with OM..
And please stop posting in this section.You are really not helping.. Quite frankly reading your "wel meaning" advice
its seriously insulting[/QUOT
Her H was the wayward. Check your reading comprehension.
Rose is right-- some of you are so jaded you will never be able to see anyone else's viewpoint. I don't think she's the one who needs therapy.
that's not me....... how can you say that when you don't even know me! i would never do such a thing. i 'm not like that at all.
What's not you? The woman you are trying to be or the one that broke your marriage vows and slept with another man. Are you sorry for what you did or are you sorry that you were caught? How can you guarantee you won't do it again? You've already proven you can do it once, twice, three times? You lied to your husband's face on more than one occasion. How can he believe anything you say? How does he know that you aren't going to go through all the steps to reconcile until he lets his guard down and you once again sleep with another man? Why did you say you agreed it was over only to reverse course once reality and a real divorce hit you in the face? Are you staying with him simply because he provides a good home life and finances? Are you staying with him because you have no other alternatives but once you do you'll stab him in the back once again?
You need to answer these questions because while I may be asking them here you can bet your cheating a$$ your husband is asking the same questions as well.
Edit: And if my wife had presented the defiant attitude you are projecting right now I would have booted her to the curb when she had her affair 20 years ago.
I agree that you don't owe us anything, only your husband. But you've got to admit that the attitude in your post left a bad impression considering what you had done to him and to yourself - the worst betrayal is the one you did to yourself.
No problem. What's important is that you and your husband do everything in your power to heal yourselves for your well being and the well being of your children. Before working on your marriage, the two of you should concentrate on working on healing from the wounds inflicted on you from your tragic past childhood sexual abuse and your husband from the trauma of your affairs and his depression. This will require both of you seeking professional therapy to learn ways to effectively manage those periods of momentary darkness.
It's not going to be easy and it will be a long and difficult road but one that can transform you in to the kind of people you can be proud of and serve as role models for your children. But be warned, there will be days in which the emotional roller coaster will grip your husband with feelings of despair and hopelessness and other days with feelings of optimism and hope. But if the two of you adopt the view that your mutual healing process is on a day to day basis, then the highs and lows will begin to level off until they will not have the negative emotional impact on your lives.
I wish you, your husband and your children all the best.
we are doing everything but the counseling right now......waiting on the doctor to find ua one our insurance will take.
it get a little better every day but i know what you mean about the "emotional rollercoaster' .....but i'm by his side no matter what. i love him more than anything in this world and i'm fighting for him every day and i'm so grateful that he is willing to give me a second chance!
my husband and I fought one evening, I went out drinking, was pretty intoxicated, started flirting with a cute guy and as soon as he kissed me the guilt overwhelmed me and I instantly left went home and confessed to my husband. Your wife had sex multiple times without it seems much or any guilt???? Blame it on the alcohol??? seriously?? blame it on the friends??? seriously??? The friends and alcohol held a gun to her head and forced her to do this? We are all responsible for our actions and even through childhood trauma as adults we still no between right and wrong. I truly hope you guys can make this work but I must say counseling is such a big step yet you are putting it off why because your insurance isn't accepted?? you got a tatoo and went to the beach and weren't obviously concerned about money yet now you are putting a price on saving your marriage, I don't understand especially when there are many priests, and free counsellors out there. Seems like you are still making excuses to avoid dealing with the deep issues or is there more you are hiding that you are afraid will come out in therapy???
my husband and I fought one evening, I went out drinking, was pretty intoxicated, started flirting with a cute guy and as soon as he kissed me the guilt overwhelmed me and I instantly left went home and confessed to my husband. Your wife had sex multiple times without it seems much or any guilt???? Blame it on the alcohol??? seriously?? blame it on the friends??? seriously??? The friends and alcohol held a gun to her head and forced her to do this? We are all responsible for our actions and even through childhood trauma as adults we still no between right and wrong. I truly hope you guys can make this work but I must say counseling is such a big step yet you are putting it off why because your insurance isn't accepted?? you got a tatoo and went to the beach and weren't obviously concerned about money yet now you are putting a price on saving your marriage, I don't understand especially when there are many priests, and free counsellors out there. Seems like you are still making excuses to avoid dealing with the deep issues or is there more you are hiding that you are afraid will come out in therapy???
I'm not blaming my cheating on anyone or anything but me . As for MC and IC we are searching for someone ..... We live in a very small town and I'm not using that as an excuse. I wanted to go yesterday! I am committed to doing whatever I have to do to make my marriage work. I m not avoiding it at all and actually I'm quite frustrated that we have not gone yet.... There is nothing else to come out in counseling. Posted via Mobile Device
Btw you didn't answer the std question, Posted via Mobile Device
wait you had unprotected sex with a tattoo man and a guy at a bar??? Did you then have sex with your husband before or after telling him the truth? Movin on, you aren't concerned about this? Do you know many STDS can lay dormant for quite some time? so what happens in a year if one pops up, is it old or has your wife had another affair. From what i gather you have know about this since before Christmas and still no testing has been done.
One more thing you both seem to be fine with each others answers and excuses to one another, even at times getting defensive when others suggest things so if you have it all figured out why are you still here
wait you had unprotected sex with a tattoo man and a guy at a bar??? Did you then have sex with your husband before or after telling him the truth? Movin on, you aren't concerned about this? Do you know many STDS can lay dormant for quite some time? so what happens in a year if one pops up, is it old or has your wife had another affair. From what i gather you have know about this since before Christmas and still no testing has been done.
One more thing you both seem to be fine with each others answers and excuses to one another, even at times getting defensive when others suggest things so if you have it all figured out why are you still here
I did not have unprotected sex with either one! Protected every time. Posted via Mobile Device
I do hope that the both of you have been tested for STD's. Sorry but her actions showed she has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever. You are probably a good meal ticker for her. She humiliated you and your marriage in such a horrible way. If you do not respect yourself then who will? By the way, I doubt if the roles had been reversed she would have been so accepting as you have been. She knows she can manipulate you very well.
The "yeas i want to reconcile"decision. Will always be yourīs.
But dont you think you are jumping a little to fast ahead??
I don think i have ever seen a reconciliation.With a happy
end result. That didn't include this simple thing.
The truth and nothing but the truth so help me good
approach.. read the quote again.. I mean really??
Please man.. WTF itīs so lame that is just plain insulting
about how she seem to think that you ,and even me.
Are that stuped..Come on man
Quote:
Originally Posted by fightingfor love
what things has she done you ask?
i have gotten rid of the people in my life who encouraged the affairs When the started encouraged?Married 3 kidīs could not stop you?And you of course are 14year old girl with no own free will?.....one was a friend of 26 years and cheated on her husband Great you had wing man [/Bi have no doubts that this was the right decision and it was one of the easiest things ive ever had to do.You cant be Serious?
i have quit drinking Can be a good thing......it has bcome a real problem for me over that past couple of years.
hardly beliveble..Why then,use husbandīs deression excuse rutin then? i want Mc and also IC What you want.Irrelevant what you want.It nor up to you.. as i have some abuse issues in my childhood that i have never dealt with .
Please,seriously..But however that is something.You have
a say in ..
my husband has all my passwords for my accounts and cell phone .......he was on them for months without my knowledge.....before anyone attacks me.......i was in no way angry when i found this out! And you felt/choose
not to go bat **** because? And because you dident get angry
Do you expect a call from Stockholm,around the end of
september..So the 10december to recive your Nobel price..
Why did you feel your husband should have cared if you did??
i in no way think of my husband as a meal ticket or a babysitter!
i know it's gonna be a long hard road to fix my marriage but i am 100% committed to making it work and i fight my A$$ of everyday to show him ! Something youīr guilt should have
been enough the first night,with tattoo boy..
And now itīs should matter because???
let the bashing begin.
for those of youwho may have missed it ....i am moving on's wife.
25Likes
Re: What now? 
[/Bi have no doubts that this was the right decision and it was one of the easiest things ive ever had to do.You cant be Serious?
