Wife and I have been together since high school.we have 3 children.
I had depression and pushed her away, for about a year I was out off touch with her and the kids,she would tell me to get help but I would not listen
She starts spending more and more time with her friends and she reconnected with some girls on Facebook.some off the people she started spending
Time with were out of our lives for a long time,for a good reason,one girl had a camp lot along the river and had a weekend get together and another girl worked
Out of town with a guy who did tattoos and he came to her house to give some tattoos to some of the girls.I should mention her behavior at this point was
A concern of mine. So I would google her name and her twitter would come up and she didnt set it to private so I could read her tweets,so after her weekend
I read them, she said the tattoo boy was beautiful and he was coming to the party and she had a cuddle buddy.I didn't like the way she was talking online but
Nothing to prove she slept with him. Two months later she goes to the beach for a weekend with her bff,I was not happy at all about it but she went anyway.
I now have a strong feeling she is cheating,two days after she comes back I pick up her I pod and find she didnt log out of Facebook so I read her chats and
One from the weekend at the river she was talking to the friend who worked with the tattoo boy and said not to say anything on fb because her kids were on here
By the way big ****.her friend said don't worry we won't tell.I never really suspected her of cheating before but I just knew she did something with him.well the
Weekend after the beach she takes kids to her moms house and disappears for a night, I called and texted her all day and night and she wouldnt respond. Two
Days later I tell her it's over and she agrees.she wants me to stay until after Xmas and she still wants to be friends,we get along great for a week and I tell her I
Have a lawyer and she panics, said she loves me and wants to be with me and she never wanted a divorce. So for two months it goes great,I still check her twitter and fb
But can't find anything proving she cheated,so I get on her twitter from her iPod one day and find out she was still logged on and I checked her direct messages.
She told a girl on there that she f##ked the tattoo boy and it was great sex and so on. Now I go to her and show her what I got she admits she slept with him and I tell
Her I'm leaving.she said she wants me and that she is sorry,I tell her she better come clean with everything, well at the beach on the first night she meets a guy at a bar
And takes him to the hotel and has sex , hooks up with him the next night and has sex. The next weekend when she took off was to meet him for sex. I have no idea what
Got into her but she was never a lying cheater before. Now she wants to work it out but I don't think I can trust her again. Posted via Mobile Device
It's understandable that you do not feel like you can trust her.
What are the things you need her to do so you will work on the marriage? Remember she is the one who has to do the heavy lifting here. she has to prove that she can be trusted.
She needs to write the OM (other man) a no contact letter.
She needs to give you the passwords to all of her online accounts, her cell, etc.
She can not hang out with the friends who facilitated her cheating.
Those are the basics. What else would you need?
If the OM has a wife or girlfriend, you need to expose the affair to her as well.
Tell your wife's family, your family and friends. Ask them all for help in saving your marriage.
if she cannot do those things she has to leave. You do not lave the family home, she does. Do not leave your children. Let her know what she is losing if she does not work on the marriage.
And you need to take care of your long term depression. it's unfair to put your wife through that.
I am sure it will be difficult for you to trust her and difficult for her to believe you can be the husband you were since all of this happened between the two of you.
My husband cheated once that I know of when my son was 3 months old. I never thought he would hurt me like he did but as time went on it became a little easier to deal with but you will skeptical for a while still. The question is can she deal with that and do both of you truly want to make it work.
It is definitely a test of your love for each other. It can be done but lots of healing has to take place first.
Good luck yo you both. Posted via Mobile Device
She is a serial cheater with multiple partners. She now has a taste for mindless sex with guys she meets for the first time. I would never trust her again. She will always remember the thrill she got from cheating. It has happened multiple times that you know of, maybe more that you don't know about. It will happen again, and you will spend the rest of your marriage wondering and waiting for it.
Talk to a lawyer and have her served with divorce or legal separation papers (depends on which State you are in).
Protect any joint bank accounts so she cannot clean you out. Cancel joint credit cards.
Don't believe her lies about wanting to reconcile. She probably does not want divorce. She wants to stay married and play around when she can get the chance.
You do not lave the family home, she does. Do not leave your children. Let her know what she is losing if she does not work on the marriage.
Take that to heart.
She strays she pays.....
Cheaters cheat because that's what they do. I guaran-f*cking-tee you this is not the first time she has cheated on you. She is going to beg, plead, cry and do everything she can to get you to not divorce her. Believe none of it. She does not want to lose her meal ticket. She screwed another guy because she no longer loves or respects you.
"I had depression and pushed her away, for about a year I was out off touch with her and the kids,she would tell me to get help but I would not listen"
This is the key point that I picked up on in your original post. This of course does not excuse your W's extramarital sexual encounters, however you do need to realize that you are responsible for your portion of the failure of the marriage. I went through this for 6 years with a H having serious mental health issues and not listening to my pleas that he get help. Depression is a very selfish disease... it envelopes the suffer so much so s/he doesn't realize the damage, hurt and pain it causes to those around them. This is utterly emotionally draining to those that love you. I am not surprized that your W looked elsewhere for the emotional bonding and support that she had every hope finding in you... but actually the reverse happens... you more than likely were the emotional drained her and gave nothing in return. She cannot emotionally trust you with her heart...this is your part you need to rebuild if you wish to save the marriage.
I truly hope that you have found the professional help you need. Make yourself whole and healthy... and from there you can perhaps rebuild a relationship with your wife and children.
Being betrayed is a very traumatic experience. I highly recommend that you seek the services of professional therapist who has experience with treating victims of infidelity and is also knowledgeable with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). You make every effort to heal for not only your well being but also your children's.
I went to docs and I am on meds for a couple months and feel alot better.she got rid of her friends that she was with at the time. She was also a binge drinker and was drunk the first three times she cheated so she gave up alcohol as well.this was not the women I knew and she has changed. I did not tell her to do anything she changed on her own. I agree she got the taste of cheating so I am worried about it happening again, the worst part is she did it with men she did not know. She told me she felt guilty after the first time and she did it again so I do have trust issues. I do not know if these were the only times she cheated or not. She says they are but she is a liar. So who knows. Posted via Mobile Device
I went to docs and I am on meds for a couple months and feel alot better.she got rid of her friends that she was with at the time. She was also a binge drinker and was drunk the first three times she cheated so she gave up alcohol as well.this was not the women I knew and she has changed. I did not tell her to do anything she changed on her own. I agree she got the taste of cheating so I am worried about it happening again, the worst part is she did it with men she did not know. She told me she felt guilty after the first time and she did it again so I do have trust issues. I do not know if these were the only times she cheated or not. She says they are but she is a liar. So who knows.
Oh man then why are we even discussing this?! She's a ho! Kick her out, divorce her and get on with your life for god's sake.
"I had depression and pushed her away, for about a year I was out off touch with her and the kids,she would tell me to get help but I would not listen"
This is the key point that I picked up on in your original post. This of course does not excuse your W's extramarital sexual encounters, however you do need to realize that you are responsible for your portion of the failure of the marriage. I went through this for 6 years with a H having serious mental health issues and not listening to my pleas that he get help. Depression is a very selfish disease... it envelopes the suffer so much so s/he doesn't realize the damage, hurt and pain it causes to those around them. This is utterly emotionally draining to those that love you. I am not surprized that your W looked elsewhere for the emotional bonding and support that she had every hope finding in you... but actually the reverse happens... you more than likely were the emotional drained her and gave nothing in return. She cannot emotionally trust you with her heart...this is your part you need to rebuild if you wish to save the marriage.
I truly hope that you have found the professional help you need. Make yourself whole and healthy... and from there you can perhaps rebuild a relationship with your wife and children.
* She cannot emotionally trust you with her heart...this is your part you need to rebuild if you wish to save the marriage.*
I am not surprized that your W looked elsewhere for the emotional bonding and support that she had every hope finding in you... but actually the reverse happens... you more than likely were the emotional drained her and gave nothing in return. She cannot emotionally trust you with her heart...this is your part you need to rebuild if you wish to save the marriage.
She was also a binge drinker and was drunk the first three times she cheated so she gave up alcohol as well
Please man DONT buy that..Drunk the first time
that wouldn't surprise me. But normal people have so
much GUILT that the hardly would go out and drink.
again.And then a week or two, claimīs to be drunk
and bangīs another guy a couple of times
Wants a divorce du you wonder why??
answer:The next weekend when she took off was to meet him for sex.
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What now? 
