Well if that is the case, you don't have an OPEN marriage if you are hiding when you go out with this guy...your own words:
Recently I met an old acquaintance and met him without telling my husband about it.
Here's the rub:
I have a son and he has a daughter. I just cant stop myself from getting attracted towards him, even though i know all he wants is to get physical with me, We went for a long drive and went little beyond smooch.
Now this guy wants me to have sex with him or else lets not continue meeting.
Dude has told you straight up: if you don't fvck him, he has no use for you.
So not only are you violating your "open marriage" by not being OPEN about meeting up with this guy, this guy, the OM, has told you it's sex or nothing.
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This isn't about "being attracted." This is about the fact you are currently actively having an affair and your husband has no idea.
Question: if you have an "open marriage" as you say, then why are you hiding all this from your husband?
Of course she is not coming back. She got pounced on by you lot and torn apart. All competing to see who can rip into her the most.
If someone comes here it means that at least part of them wants to avoid the affair, they should be given a chance to speak and we should all listen, we might learn something that might help our own marriages.
Well if that is the case, you don't have an OPEN marriage if you are hiding when you go out with this guy...your own words:
Recently I met an old acquaintance and met him without telling my husband about it.
Here's the rub:
I have a son and he has a daughter. I just cant stop myself from getting attracted towards him, even though i know all he wants is to get physical with me, We went for a long drive and went little beyond smooch.
Now this guy wants me to have sex with him or else lets not continue meeting.
Dude has told you straight up: if you don't fvck him, he has no use for you.
So not only are you violating your "open marriage" by not being OPEN about meeting up with this guy, this guy, the OM, has told you it's sex or nothing.
...
...
...
This isn't about "being attracted." This is about the fact you are currently actively having an affair and your husband has no idea.
Question: if you have an "open marriage" as you say, then why are you hiding all this from your husband?
I said our marriage is not open to fidelity. I got attracted towrds the other guy because I got emotional support from him and not for physical pleasure. I did not take his call today and dnt want to spoil my marriage any further. Hopingz for whats best for me
Open - as in we decided to stay together so that we can take care of our son properly. There is no emotional stress on our son.
Otherwise we r not open to infidelity
So you are already at an unfaithful level that has crossed the boundaries of what is expected by your husband then. This is secret and not approved by him. I would suggest you not use your son as an excuse to be in a secret affair. Either be all in with your marriage or not. You are not protecting your son as eventually this will explode and he will be caught in the fallout.
If divorce is not an option and the marriage is simply a legal construct for you and your husband, then you seriously talk with your husband about having an open marriage where the two of you will discreetly have outside relationships that will satisfy your individual needs. If he agrees then you have the green light from him to go ahead and have an affair with any man you are attracted to. Mind you that I'm not a believer of open marriages but in certain cases and with certain couples, it may turn out to be a satisfying arrangement, IF there is no secrecy and deception involved.
I said our marriage is not open to fidelity. I got attracted towrds the other guy because I got emotional support from him and not for physical pleasure. I did not take his call today and dnt want to spoil my marriage any further. Hopingz for whats best for me
This requires full NC with. Not even in a work situation or in a group. You will have to go through withdrawal. This could take some number of weeks with NC. Even after withdrawal, you have to stay forever NC with this guy.
Good on you for refusing his call today. Do one better: block his #. Call up your cell phone company and have it blocked.
All he wants is sex anyway, which he told you.
You want emotional support, he wants to bang. Fundamental difference.
So you are already at an unfaithful level that has crossed the boundaries of what is expected by your husband then. This is secret and not approved by him. I would suggest you not use your son as an excuse to be in a secret affair. Either be all in with your marriage or not. You are not protecting your son as eventually this will explode and he will be caught in the fallout.
My son was never and is not an excuse to be in an affair. Its me and only me , not my son and not my husband.
My son was never and is not an excuse to be in an affair. Its me and only me , not my son and not my husband.
Yes, of course it is your affair. The point is that what we do effects others. So I was just saying do not let yourself fall into the excuse of keeping it secret to spare your son.
The best thing of course is to stop the affair and go NC. This would be the best for your you, your son and your husband.
Okay, that anwers some questions. You might want to see if you can find a place online for spouses in marriages similar to yours.
So many societies in the world that are way more patriarchal than the West.Family honor expectations can turn deadly.A father,son and mother were recently convicted of murdering four women of which three were there own daughters,because of this.In the future I'm going to be more careful before I throw my 2 cents in.Hope you find the help you need.
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Re: Cant stop myself from getting attracted 
