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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 02-02-2012, 02:40 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiancée cheated with coworker

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Originally Posted by parachute100 View Post
We have also agreed that all the times we have spent together have been the most fun times of our lives - we will cherish these times.
Sounded like a lot of fun times at the beginning of this thread!
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Old 02-02-2012, 02:47 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiancée cheated with coworker

Quick quick, spy, hire a detective, monitor her incoming and outgoing calls. Quick Quick.
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Old 02-02-2012, 02:49 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiancée cheated with coworker

P100,

You handled this situation like an adult. I commend you for it.

And dude she is an ass. If she was feeling that way she should have had the balls to tell you before she had an exit affair. End of story!

Move on and find someone that will love you and honor you.

I am with my wife 25 years. Married 19. She was a virgin till the day we married. She has no desire to be with anyone else.

People that love each other might get bored but they do not cheat on their significant other. And we both hardly ever fight.

She is flawed. Be glad you caught this infidelity before it was too late.

Good Luck, Live Long and Prosper.

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Old 02-02-2012, 03:08 PM   #64 (permalink)
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She made the point not to use the boredom as an excuse, I think the boredom is a sign that something just wasn't right with us.

We ended on very good terms - we agree that we can't hang on to each other by contacting each other except for the bare essentials.
Actual her boredom and cheating is deep reflection her lack of maturity and lack of taking responsibility for her own happiness. Instead of kicking things up with you,Moshe chose to let another guy entertain her and pursue her.

She then blamed you.

Dude, you have dodged a bullet here and will look back and realize how lucky you were.

She. Will eventually look back and realize she acted as a selfish little girl and trashed a relationship that would have been wonderful for life.
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Old 02-02-2012, 03:17 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiancée cheated with coworker

Love, trust and respect are the basis of any committed relationship. If any of one or more of these is missing, then the relationship has died.
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Old 02-02-2012, 04:01 PM   #66 (permalink)
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Not trying to be rude here but you're a coward. Yes you may not have had the best communication between the two of you but you and your wife are using that excuse to justify her cheating. She was the one that went behind your back and started having an affair. If she didnt like how your marriage was going then she should have talked about it or at least tried to fix things between the two of you. She didnt and instead she took a coward's way out and starting cheating. And you sit there and take it like a ***** when you should be angry as hell that she betrayed you. Tear her a new one next time you see. For god's sake man, Have some respect for yourself.
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Old 02-02-2012, 04:34 PM   #67 (permalink)
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Parachute! Be strong, stand firm brother! Sounds like you did the right thing. Can be very, very tough - but don't go back. So, so, so much good advice here. My two cents in addition to all the wise counsel... Renew bonds with friends and family. Don't be ashamed to ask for help in whatever form - counseling, medical help, validation from friends. Read up on grief. If you are feeling unsure about your admirable decision to split from her, come back here and read the many stories like yours - and how invariably the folks who tried to make it work with their cheating partner got burned again. As several have said here, oddly, life has taught you a tough lesson *but* also given you a great gift! Get on with your life and be grateful! All the best to you.
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Old 02-02-2012, 05:57 PM   #68 (permalink)
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You are well rid of her. Let me explain something, after 32 years of marriage, guess what, sometimes you get bored. Let me tell you how I see it. Your girl friend had 85% of the complete package (you). Then after awhile she started thinking about the other 15% of her needs that you don't meet (24/7 fun time dude). So she finds that guy to give her that 15%. Ah now she is 100% satisfied. Oops you found out she as a cheating tramp (and yes my friend, she is a cheating tramp) and have subsequently ended the relationship. Now she only has her 15%. Tell me, what exactly is she going to do for the other 85%. Allow me to say that your ex has screwed herself. Anyone who risks 85% contentment for a 15% orgasm is an idiot.

Last edited by Initfortheduration; 02-02-2012 at 06:22 PM.
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Old 02-02-2012, 06:02 PM   #69 (permalink)
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You have done great......The only thing I am surprised with is the fact that she admitted the physical affair. I was sure she would go down lying about that. She has been having doubts for a while evidently. Good job sniffing this out. Never trust 100%. As always,trust but verify.
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Old 02-02-2012, 06:18 PM   #70 (permalink)
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What a great line......."The affair was only physical." You really escaped the bullet. Congratulations on getting the ring back.
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Old 02-02-2012, 06:26 PM   #71 (permalink)
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Oh and if I may, regarding the ring. Put it in a safe deposit box. my wife was engaged to a guy who called of the wedding two weeks before. Parents out thousands. She gave the ring back, not thinking. Well a couple of weeks go by and the wife just stops by his place to pick up a couple of things she left. One of them was the ring. She found it. I was so glad she did that. It paid for a house payment and groceries when we were first married.
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Old 02-02-2012, 08:22 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiancée cheated with coworker

Seriously...

Lose the WE WE WE talk..
What she thinks is irrelevant, to you.
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:40 AM   #73 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fiancée cheated with coworker

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Quick quick, spy, hire a detective, monitor her incoming and outgoing calls. Quick Quick.
At least read the thread before you stick your foot in your mouth.
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:41 AM   #74 (permalink)
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parachute - think of it this way - the first bad news is always the best bad news. Better now than 10 years from now with a couple of kids.

Take a deep breath and leave it in the rear view mirror.

BTW - totally agree with you about her boredom issue.
Bored already before even getting married?
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:09 AM   #75 (permalink)
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She is starting to realise what she has done I think. She had contacted me to say things like "can we not work this out?" etc etc.

Before you panic, I'm not giving those notions any consideration. It's probably just hitting her what had happened and what she has lost.

I know 100% that this is a good thing in the long run, we werent getting what we should have been from the relationship, and anything that could potentially be done to remedy the situation is a short term thing at best.

So, bring on the advice for moving on?? I can't cut off all contact just yet until living arrangements are sorted, but we will not be in the same place at the same time.

She wants to say goodbye to my parents, bad idea or should I let that happen?
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