Re: Str8 raw honest answers from the betrayer
To the OP: if your husband is still lying to you then he is not remorseful. If he says he still wants to be married, then he has another reason for that - maybe he doesn't want his family to know what he's done, maybe he likes the idea of being married, I don't know. But the fact is, he is not doing what he needs to do, and you need to provide consequences to him or he'll just keep lying.
Regarding showing remorse - my hubby has pretty much been the model of remorse. For the most part - there are things he would rather not talk about and that upset him and he may get short with me once in a while - but I am very happy with the way he's stepped up. He didn't confess everything at once when I caught him, that took a while, and then there was one major setback, but things are good now. Some of the ways he shows remorse are:
- answers my questions over and over and over a hundred times
- gives me access to everything - bank and credit card info, email addresses, his phone and phone bills, etc unconditionally
- apologizes to me over and over, sometimes when he can tell I need him to, sometimes just out of the blue
- goes to MC with me and wants to do so
- read The Five Love Languages, learned mine, and uses it now
- makes it a point to do things that fill up my love bank regularly
- attends SA meetings every week because he wants to
- is learning to talk about his feelings - this is a huge one for him
- has done a ton of reading and thinking to try to understand how much he really hurt me
People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.
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