husbands emotional affair, i cant seem to get over it
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » husbands emotional affair, i cant seem to get over it

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By CandieGirl

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-03-2012, 02:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 13
Default husbands emotional affair, i cant seem to get over it

in Feb 2010 my husband at my encouragement set a FB account. We have three daughters all of who have one including myself we wanted him to join us. I shortly found text messages from a old lover, before we met She was married way back when they were lovers.. I just found that out as well.. the text where more than friendly, with most of what I could read only being her replies. one night I found the text to him, saying she dreamed about him last night.. I flipped my wig.. confronted him at which time he said it was nothing they only exchanged messages, he never saw her in person but would stop it. I was very very hurt but thought it ended there.. for months I didnt belive anything he said, but being the stupid co dependant moron I am, I did get over it. after .his hernia surgery 4-10 we were having sex maybe 2times a month.. maybe for like 8 months. I just kept having that feeling maybe it was something more. Then fast forward to 10-11 he travels for work, and was going to miami, he suddenly was being secretive about his itinary I was on full alert.. I had a terrible feeling about the trip, I mean I was sick over it.. in my heart he had already commited the crime, only I didnt know with whom..I did find records of the EA that continued until the day before our anniversary eight months after I thought it had ended. She was telling him how to hide messages and he was asking if she had deleted pictures from FB! He says it was nothing to worry about and cant understand why Im hurt after all he says he never had sex with her, but they were talking about me! she was telling him about her vibrator and lack of sex with her H?!! I want to get over it, but the pain is so great.. anyone else go through this?? Thanks and sorry to ramble such this is my first day and first post ever on this site
cinibun is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 02-03-2012, 02:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Montreal
Posts: 2,607
Default Re: husbands emotional affair, i cant seem to get over it

Print off some literature on emotional affairs, and show it to your husband. Many people think that since there is no sex, that it's not an affair. And that would be inaccurate.
CandieGirl is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-04-2012, 05:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
str8insane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: FORT BRAGG
Posts: 43
Default Re: husbands emotional affair, i cant seem to get over it

If you want the full detail of his fb account under the account settings their is a section where it has his name and password info..well if you scroll to the bottom it will say '''download account''..click on that..but in order to get all the emails and pix with all his info it will be sent to the email on file with fb..you can add your email account and make sure you make it the primary email account..after clicking download button...it will be sent to your email within 12 hours...it will have everything..i mean everything...thats how i caught my hubby last year as well ...good luck..
str8insane is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-04-2012, 09:18 AM   #4 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 13
Default Re: husbands emotional affair, i cant seem to get over it

I agree, it has been exhausting trying to declare him guilty or mosty innocent, but I have 20 years of my 42 invested in this person I have only recently realized how co pendant I am and I'm working on it! He has serious erectile issues, and really really low drive so I doubt it was physical I believe that but the emotional pain of the betrayal and his lack of empathy even when telling him I no longer trust him, I can't help but wonder if that is only giving him a ego boost? He has been more attentive,especially making effort to have sex twice a month he is 50. He says he was only talking to her that's all and that was on phone or text... But she obviously still has feeling for him so I do t feel I can let my guard down and get over it..
Posted via Mobile Device
cinibun is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-04-2012, 10:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: So Cal
Posts: 4,363
Default Re: husbands emotional affair, i cant seem to get over it

Your H has shown no interest in helping you regain trust in him. At the risk of being accused of being divorce happy, I just don't see how your marriage can survive without trust.
__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

Links
morituri is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-04-2012, 04:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 63
Default Re: husbands emotional affair, i cant seem to get over it

I have gone through this - I'm 41 and we just had our 21st anniversary in August. I printed out tons of information on emotional affairs and he's just refused to see it as an affair. There was no sex talk, just a deep friendship. The thing is, he keeps going back and not being truthful with me.

Have you read the 180 list they recommend on here?
me2pointoh is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My husbands girlfriend ended Emotional Affair Shelby Coping with Infidelity 17 03-18-2013 08:08 PM
My husbands had an affair HELP ???? Heart0101 Coping with Infidelity 40 10-24-2012 07:12 PM
Husbands affair cinders Coping with Infidelity 8 09-11-2012 09:56 AM
Completely Devastated by Husbands Emotional Affair confusedindenver Coping with Infidelity 15 10-24-2011 07:28 PM
In the middle of husbands emotional affair... cisras Coping with Infidelity 0 08-20-2009 05:45 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:32 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.