And as to why I'm going all beta here, is I've been no prince to her. There's another whole side to this where I've been alpha dog on her for a long time regarding finances, and that's finally come to a head. I'm fully working on rectifying those issues, but keep getting stuck back with this issue in my head 90% of the time.
It's like she wants me to fix my issues, but she's unwilling to address the issues I have with her.
Oh, the novel I could write about all this...
Legodog, the reason you're "going all beta here" is because you're a beta male, well on your way to an omega male (they never ever get laid).
You've been "alpha dog on her for a long time regarding finances?" Wow. I guess she never paid for a hotel room. Does that make you feel good? Really? Yeah, that's because you're not being alpha.
Your wife is dictating your reality. "Did we really talk about an open marriage? And I said she could **** other men? OMG! Did I really say that? I don't remember.... I can't be sure. Gosh I feel bad about my wife doing the splits on my best friend. I wish he wouldn't be so in-your-face with me about banging my wife."
On the off chance that you're NOT a troll, and that you MIGHT take some advice and do the right things, here is what you SHOULD do.
1) Forget about keylogger programs, or GPS locators, or Voice Activate Recorders (VARs). You already know your wife is cheating on you. Don't waste your time gathering more proof. You have all the proof you need.
2) Find a good lawyer. File for divorce. Have your wife served without letting her know its coming. Serving her publicly at her workplace is best.
3) In the mean time, tell your best friend's wife what's going on. And by the way- this guy isn't your friend. Stop being friends with him. Treat him like he's a poisonous snake, who will bite you and fill you with toxin if you get too close to him.
4) Let your wife's parents and siblings know that she is having sex with other men.
5) Do the 180. Start it as soon as you have read it. Re-read it every day.
6) On a side note, you probably don't know this, but your wife doesn't love you. She doesn't respect you even a little bit, and she doesn't even like you! If she loved, liked, or respected you, she wouldn't have gone and put another man's penis in her again and again.
7) As other people have pointed out, you don't have an open marriage, you have a marriage where your wife is cheating on you. An open marriage is where both spouses are stupid and screwed up, and they agree that each of them sleeping with other people will make them less stupid and screwed up. In 99% of cases, they are wrong, and having an open marriage leaves them divorced, stupider, and even more screwed up.