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post #61 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-05-2012, 11:50 AM
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Re: open marriage failure

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Originally Posted by kenmoore14217 View Post
The authenticity of this thread has me somewhat confused!


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post #62 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-05-2012, 04:05 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

I've only ready through the first page... it's not scorched earth to turn the lights on and let everyone see the "openess" of what she and this OM were doing.
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post #63 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 04:20 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

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Sorry got to say it.

What is the matter with you! You may not have agreed to an open marriage but you have a unilateral one. Make it bilateral. Even if you are not able to carry it through. Go out to places where tgeir are women and chat them up. Stay out till 3Am in the morning. Get some women perfume and put a small amout in your shirt.

Does your friend have a wife or gf. Seduce her. If not wait him out he will eventually move on from your wife. Who ever he has next seduce her.

Stop wallowing in self pity and grab you b@lls out of you pocket, slap those badboys back on and get ta steppin'

I have to warn you that i am a vindictive b!tch when crossed so procede at your own risk. Not the b@lls sugession you gotta' do that.
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That's sure is scorched earth policy. I felt that way about my wife's OM, lol. I think it's a great way to get back at OM. I thought about how easy it would have been to seduce their wives and let them join us for some hurt. They spent every waking minute of their day talking to my wife. I'm sure their wives were bored with them. With the crimes I've committed I had to let that one go.
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post #64 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 04:27 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

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The idea had been discussed. But it was a total surprise to me when I got home.
There is where the problem is. You discussed it?

When she brought it up you should have gotten pissed and made it known in no way shape or form do you want a wife that wants to screw other men.

You should have nipped any talk about open marriage in the butt right away. If any woman told me she wanted an open marriage, I'll give her one. An open door with one way traffic.

If you don't want to divorce and say you love her dearly, then I'm really sorry to say, you are just going to have to take being married to a woman that wants to be with other men.
Because face it, she likes it, doesn't want to stop, and you will do anything to keep the marriage. Even if she did stop, you will be the husband of a woman that still really desires other men. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. It is what it is. I think you need to stand up to her and let her know you will not be the husband of a cheating wife.....unless you are willing to put up with being the husband of a cheating wife.
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post #65 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 04:32 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

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I guess I'm afraid that going scorched earth on her will only further damage our relationship.
Huh? So basically she gets to disrespect you, keep disrespecting you, but you standing up for yourself is further damaging the relationship?

Its damaged beyond repair. She will not want to give up taboo sex with someone who isn't her husband. You need to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!
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post #66 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 08:27 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

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Huh? So basically she gets to disrespect you, keep disrespecting you, but you standing up for yourself is further damaging the relationship?

Its damaged beyond repair. She will not want to give up taboo sex with someone who isn't her husband. You need to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!
He is doing something about it. He posted here so he can not take some very good advice.
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post #67 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-07-2012, 12:23 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

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He is doing something about it. He posted here so he can not take some very good advice.
No, he isn't. Unless you consider doing something is him coddling her and walking on eggshells because he is afraid of what she will do. She is in control.
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post #68 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-07-2012, 12:33 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

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No, he isn't. Unless you consider doing something is him coddling her and walking on eggshells because he is afraid of what she will do. She is in control.
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He is doing something about it. He posted here so he can not take some very good advice.
DM I think you missed the NOT part of Beowulfs post.
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post #69 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-07-2012, 01:31 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

So, in your mind, they are no longer having sex and that makes it alright?

How about this... realize that when you were sitting and having lunch with this "friend" he was running back the highlights of banging your wife. That's right, as you were sipping your pretty pink girly beta drink, he was imagining rocking it and looking forward to the next time.

Not so easy to rug sweep it anymore, eh?

Last edited by Speed; 02-07-2012 at 02:01 PM.
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post #70 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-07-2012, 02:02 PM
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Re: open marriage failure

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I guess I'm afraid that going scorched earth on her will only further damage our relationship. She has depression issues, and I think this will also cause her to have more serious problems.
My two cents worth. Your relationship can't get any worse. It is broken and shattered into a million pieces. Her depression issues have not stopped her from destroying you. Personnaly, I would not care a damn about her depressive issues after what she did to you.

I would take a large clay pot and smash it and spend your time glueing it together. Because my friend all the king's men and all the king's horses will not help you if you continue the path you are on.

So what is really driving you to stay?

Finances? If she leaves you then what? If you can't afford to move out or have her move out now, what is the cost to you emotionally now? Brother, it will cost you plenty perhaps sooner then you may like.

Living in hell is not worth it.

She is toxic.

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post #71 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-08-2012, 09:35 AM
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Re: open marriage failure

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DM I think you missed the NOT part of Beowulfs post.
No, didn't miss it. It just didn't make sense. Wasn't sure if that was sarcasm to me.
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post #72 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-08-2012, 09:54 AM
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Re: open marriage failure

I would recommend going "level 5" or scorched earth... If I could have physically gotten a holt of the guy my wife cheated with I would have beat him and castrated him.. (I'll take the 4 years for maiming, out in 2 for good behavior and due to prison overcrowding.) But I could'nt he was in another state lying low etc.. I did go level 5 at home (looked like hurricane me went through there and I torched photos' marriage license, mementos, gift from her deceased father to her etc.

Only thing I failed to do was get rid of her.. I got sucked into the I'm sorry BS and took her back.. Now I live an unhappy, completely sexless marriage... Let them both see your crazy side... show up at his house at 2 a.m., wearing a banana hammock, one boot, a torn wife beater, and a cowboy hat while carrying a dead blow hammer.. Make an absolute scene without breaking the law.. contact his wife and let her know.. stir up some hate and discontentment on his end..

Whatever you do, get her the F out of your life or you will be screwed...

Last edited by Bandit; 02-08-2012 at 11:51 AM.
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post #73 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-08-2012, 10:18 AM
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Re: open marriage failure

Dude, you really need to open your eyes. Let me guess. SHE'S the one that brought up the subject of an open marriage. If this is the case, then she was already involved (in some way, shape or form) with your friend. She was ALREADY cheating on you! The reason why she brought up the open marriage subject with you is if she knew you were getting some from someone else, then she could stop feeling guilty about what she was doing with your friend.

You asked her to stop ALL contact with the OM and she flat out said "no" to you. That speaks volumes about the shape of your relationship. She values the OM more than your feelings. Does she know that the OM is rubbing the fact that he's been sleeping with your wife in your face? Does the OMW know about their relationship? Because, chances are the OM is lying about how bad his homelife really is with his wife.

You say that you're pretty sure they're not sleeping together anymore. I'm pretty sure that they are. They know you know about it and you are not happy with it. Therefore, they learned to hide it better.You stated that the guy rubs his relationship with your wife in your face. Why the hell would you want to go out to lunch with him?!?!? Makes no damn sense. Only to find out that he has a secret lunch date with YOUR WIFE!!! Okay, so for the sake of the arguement. Lets say they aren't sleeping together. You don't think that they are kissing and snuggling? She's doing these things that should only be reserved for her husband. Guess what. That's still cheating.

This behavior will only continue unless YOU put a stop to it. Right now, She KNOWS you won't doing anything because......well, you haven't. SHe gets to eat all the cake she wants because she knows that you'll still be there when she's done. She needs to know that there are consquences to her actions. SHe needs to know how much she hurt you and she's losing you. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS!!! EVEN IF IT MEANS DIVORCE!!!! Will, money be tight? Hell, yeah. But you deserve better. Remember, she values OM more than you. Right now, you're just a roomate, babysitter and a paycheck to her. You are the security well she lives out her romantic fantasies with someone else. How is that fair to you? That's not a marriage at all. So, she needs to know this either with the REAL threat of divorce or a divorce itself. SHe needs to be smacked back into reality that if you leave, things are going to be extremely difficult for her. She needs to snap out of that fog and get a wake up call.

Contact the OMW. She has a right to know what's going on in her marriage so she can make an informed decision on what she wants to do with her life. Chances are, as soon as you do this, the OM is going to throw your WW under the bus. If you think that it will only draw those two together. It may or it may not. But it won't last. Because your wife and the relationship he has with her would have been the cause of all his current problems. DON'T TELL YOUR WIFE THAT YOU ARE CONTACTING THE OMW!!! Just do it. If you tell her ahead of time then she'll contact the OM and they'll get their stories straight and come up with a believable and viable story for the OMW; making you look like an insane, jealous husband.

Time for action is now!!!
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post #74 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-08-2012, 10:28 AM
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Re: open marriage failure

Meet your "friend" for lunch and tell him you want to show him a problem you are having with your car. Once you get him alone, stomp him in the ground and don't neglect his gonads when doing so.
Make this guy the last "friend" that you ever have.
Then you can let your "dear wife" see if he is still as good company as he once was.
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post #75 of 85 (permalink) Old 02-08-2012, 11:53 AM
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Re: open marriage failure

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Originally Posted by hookares View Post
Meet your "friend" for lunch and tell him you want to show him a problem you are having with your car. Once you get him alone, stomp him in the ground and don't neglect his gonads when doing so.
Make this guy the last "friend" that you ever have.
Then you can let your "dear wife" see if he is still as good company as he once was.
Agreed,
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