Re: open marriage failure
Dude, you really need to open your eyes. Let me guess. SHE'S the one that brought up the subject of an open marriage. If this is the case, then she was already involved (in some way, shape or form) with your friend. She was ALREADY cheating on you! The reason why she brought up the open marriage subject with you is if she knew you were getting some from someone else, then she could stop feeling guilty about what she was doing with your friend.
You asked her to stop ALL contact with the OM and she flat out said "no" to you. That speaks volumes about the shape of your relationship. She values the OM more than your feelings. Does she know that the OM is rubbing the fact that he's been sleeping with your wife in your face? Does the OMW know about their relationship? Because, chances are the OM is lying about how bad his homelife really is with his wife.
You say that you're pretty sure they're not sleeping together anymore. I'm pretty sure that they are. They know you know about it and you are not happy with it. Therefore, they learned to hide it better.You stated that the guy rubs his relationship with your wife in your face. Why the hell would you want to go out to lunch with him?!?!? Makes no damn sense. Only to find out that he has a secret lunch date with YOUR WIFE!!! Okay, so for the sake of the arguement. Lets say they aren't sleeping together. You don't think that they are kissing and snuggling? She's doing these things that should only be reserved for her husband. Guess what. That's still cheating.
This behavior will only continue unless YOU put a stop to it. Right now, She KNOWS you won't doing anything because......well, you haven't. SHe gets to eat all the cake she wants because she knows that you'll still be there when she's done. She needs to know that there are consquences to her actions. SHe needs to know how much she hurt you and she's losing you. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS!!! EVEN IF IT MEANS DIVORCE!!!! Will, money be tight? Hell, yeah. But you deserve better. Remember, she values OM more than you. Right now, you're just a roomate, babysitter and a paycheck to her. You are the security well she lives out her romantic fantasies with someone else. How is that fair to you? That's not a marriage at all. So, she needs to know this either with the REAL threat of divorce or a divorce itself. SHe needs to be smacked back into reality that if you leave, things are going to be extremely difficult for her. She needs to snap out of that fog and get a wake up call.
Contact the OMW. She has a right to know what's going on in her marriage so she can make an informed decision on what she wants to do with her life. Chances are, as soon as you do this, the OM is going to throw your WW under the bus. If you think that it will only draw those two together. It may or it may not. But it won't last. Because your wife and the relationship he has with her would have been the cause of all his current problems. DON'T TELL YOUR WIFE THAT YOU ARE CONTACTING THE OMW!!! Just do it. If you tell her ahead of time then she'll contact the OM and they'll get their stories straight and come up with a believable and viable story for the OMW; making you look like an insane, jealous husband.
Time for action is now!!!