Apparently, the last time my husband saw OW, she said "shame on her" about me, for taking away their friendship. She is in complete denial that there was anything wrong with their friendship.
I've always believed it was the start of an emotional affair and neither one of them realized the path they were on, so I get her indignance, but shame on me? For what, trying to protect my marriage?
Emotional affairs suck. The betrayal is so deep you can't breathe, and then they try to make you out to be some crazy, insecure, jealous spouse for believing that what you saw is what it is.
The betrayal is so deep you can't breathe, and then they try to make you out to be some crazy, insecure, jealous spouse for believing that what you saw is what it is.
Unfortunately, I hear you, exactly!
My cheating wife has tried countless times to tell (insult) me that what I saw wasn't what I saw, and if it is what I saw, then it wasn't what I think, and if it was what I think, it was really what I am making up, and if it is what I am making up, then I should go to counselling to deal with my obvious problem that I am imposing on her ...
Ditto! In the lying eyes of our cheating spouses we are the ones that are crazy. Grrrrrrrrr It use to send me into a tail spin but now I just smile everytime the cheater pays my car note and credit card bills! While he and girlfriend are driving old cars and living in a dump, he is paying for me to live in a nice house and drive a nice car plus paying all my bills. I'm going to ride that wave as long as it last and when he stops I'm going to haul his sorry butt into court on default.
Sometimes it is hard to find a bright spot but when I logged on to the bank account Friday and saw my car note and bills had been paid I just smiled and thought to myself.......thank you very much jerk!
Apparently, the last time my husband saw OW, she said "shame on her" about me, for taking away their friendship. She is in complete denial that there was anything wrong with their friendship.
Is there anything right in what they are doing? Why is your husband saying "that she told shame on you" thing to you? Does he want to hurt you more? Or, he is being very frank and honest after you discovered?
Quote:
Originally Posted by me2pointoh
I've always believed it was the start of an emotional affair and neither one of them realized the path they were on, so I get her indignance, but shame on me? For what, trying to protect my marriage?
You need not feel bad about this. F on them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by me2pointoh
Emotional affairs suck. The betrayal is so deep you can't breathe, and then they try to make you out to be some crazy, insecure, jealous spouse for believing that what you saw is what it is.
Take care of yourself first. Stay strong. It sucks to be in your place. We all understand this.
Say F off.
Is there anything right in what they are doing? Why is your husband saying "that she told shame on you" thing to you? Does he want to hurt you more? Or, he is being very frank and honest after you discovered?
It's because I have been demanding raw, honest answers. We have the problem of the manuscript (that he gave her, see my first post). I now know he is willing to get the manuscript back but he's concerned about her willingness to give it back, especially to anyone but him (even with a NC letter), and especially since he knows this is a sticking point for me. This part I want done right, because if he writes a NC requesting the letter, and she isn't convinced, there won't be much we can do at that point to get it back.
There are things I know for certain. I know he wants our marriage to work, and so do I. I know he never intended to tip the friendship like he did.
I believe our marriage is worth preserving and is preservable, even with the stupid things he's done, and I believe he is willing to do the heavy lifting now. It's taken him a long time to admit that there was anything wrong with their relationship, and he's taken me for granted for a long time. He seems to be out of the fog and willing to comply, we'll see how long that lasts when the going gets tougher.
Sometimes it is hard to find a bright spot but when I logged on to the bank account Friday and saw my car note and bills had been paid I just smiled and thought to myself.......thank you very much jerk!
If it works for you, then great! I know he damaged you for his infidelity, and I honestly believe cheaters should pay for their choice to break a contract. However I think this is where men and women differ greatly, and why I think there is a lot of disillusionment towards the way family courts tend to favor women... no self respecting man would take money from their wayward wife to sustain a lifestyle beyond their own means (though I presume many a d0uchebag would have no ethical qualms about this).
I once got a biitch letter from my ex husband's skuzzy telling me all about how I ruined her life because I told her boyfriend that she was sleeping with my husband.
8Likes
OW Said "shame on me" lol 
