Shaggy

Folks OP was a drive by, possibly a troll.
Posted via Mobile Device

nilokonyako

I only knew the site because I was looking in the internet possible answers to my questions. I have read that some of you here possibly experienced what I just recently gone through and could give me advice on things to do.

I know I'm a total idiot for being so gullible. I hope you understand that I've given blind faith because I have honestly loved my wife. And love makes you do stupid decisions.

Most of you say, and I appreciate this, and I too say this to myself, that I deserve someone better. And that although she won't be cheating for the moment, as some of you warned, it would definitely return. What she did was unforgivable by our societies standard. But still, there are comments here that her owning up is a good thing. This somehow gives me a .05% chance that there might still be hope. And just like the lottery, although you know you'd loose, you would still play anyway thinking you'd win. Some stories here caught their wives multiple times but still forgave them only to still be hurt in the end. That means they felt what I'm also feeling right now that there is still hope. Was there never a happy ending? Are there not one or two stories of serial cheaters that changed? If there are, what made them change?

As I told you already, I am now with the kid that I know is 100% mine. And with that space, I'm contemplating on my next steps. I try to sorround myself with positive energy and try to be happy even though the pain is killing me. I hope that some of you understands what Im going through and not just throw insults but not having gone through things like this themselves. It's not even seven days since all this started so I will still need plenty of time healing so I could make the right move.

CH

You're staying for the kid then and hoping for a wife in return.....

IMO, worst mistake you'll ever make.

bandit.45

In most lotteries you just lose the money you paid for the ticket.

In this lottery, you will lose your soul.

Don't be a fool.

hisfac

That's not very nice. You don't know how difficult it is for some people to summon their inner strength and courage and leave a bad marriage such as this.

Kallan Pavithran

People here have nothing to do with what you are going through, because its your life and you are the only person to decide what you want in your life.
We are advising you because we all had gone through your phase and made some terrible mistakes by R, so we don't want it to happen to another human being.

Your marriage is worst state when compared to many here, its not hospitalized, its in ICU and in a coma, some miracle should happen for you to get a happy married life again, we know you are also thinking of a miracle to happen, unfortunately miracles are veeeery rare, when its all about a serial cheating and lying wife.

Take your own time, but your marriage was built on lies and deceit. once a cheater and liar is always a cheater, if it was through out cheating then what is there to expect from her in future. I hope you know the answer well.

We should love our wife, who respect us, who loves us, who care for us, who is trustworthy and faithful, in your case none fit for you to love her.

stand up on your legs, Decide what you want in your life. you are the one to decide about your needs and life not your wife. Dont allow your wife to manipulate you.

nilokonyako

Been reeding this

Serial Cheating: cheaters want to give us insight? - Leftos

nilokonyako

What did you guys do to help yourselves recover, heal and move on after you found out about those things? Did you immediately cease from meeting with your wives?

There are times when I feel I should save the marriage, then there are times when I feel like I want to make people feel my hurt. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions.

Once again thanks, TAM has been a great help.

that_girl

Divorce yesterday!

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Entropy3000

When it says Leftos Beta is it referring to a site for overly Beta guys? Or that it is the Beta version?

That said, why are you reading that garbage?

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My marriage to my wife Donna is a love story. -- Jim

Take My Breath Away

nilokonyako

I just wanted to see what happened from a cheater's POV. Nvm.

Now here's the scenario.

My wife has since admitted many things. Now as much as it pains me, and that I still have feelings for her, I have to end our marriage.

The problem is this: I talked to her parents about us having to separate and that their daughter will be living with them again. They are also just renting apartment and living through pension and don't have much. And because my in-laws have been nice to me during our marriage, I don't want them and my wife to be scandalized if I just kick her out of the house (we live in close proximity with them). My in-laws requested that I give them until 1st week of april so they could find a new and bigger place (and the money) to rent for them and my wife. My wife is also now for training next week for she is now going to work. So now, I had to stay in the house for less than 2 months with her. We have to put on a show so that nobody in the neigborhood would notice what's happening so that when we move out, we won't be the talk of the town.

Although we don't fight as much, it still hurt like hell when I feel like she's not being honest with me. I know I should not expect anything from her now that we'd be separating anyway, I still feel that way. I tried the 180 but somehow, what I really feel still come out. She still does what's she's supposed to do as the mother of my kids and as wife. She still prepares my clothes, my meal for work, etc. We have the greatest sex since we were bf/gf without fail everyday. But It still feels depressing because I know that this is the end.

What do you guys think of our set-up? What better else could I have done?

CH

I didn't read through all the posts, but she has been tested for STDs before you keep on banging her?

If not, that's a bad game of Russian roulette you're playing with.

morituri

The problem with you having sex with her is that it is keeping you emotionally bonded to her. Let's face it, you did not marry her because you love banging her, you married her because you loved, trusted and respected her. If you continue having sex with her, you won't be able to move on without her.

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"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

Links

hookares

They all are "sorry" once the gravy train stops visiting them and they no longer have a free ride or a roof over their heads.

Thorburn

Nilo, when I was in Iraq I had a soldier who came in for counseling. Man, he is just like you. Married and the first kid is not his, his wife cheated on him. Then he found out she is pregnant again and he is deployed with a combat unit. She informed him that she cheated again with another man and is pregnant. He said he loves his wife.

His wife walked all over him and up till I left our unit in July 2011 she was still walking all over him. I remember asking him around March 2011 how things were going with him and how he is dealing with two kids that aren't his. He says I am still in love.

Takes all kinds

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This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”