Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 02-08-2012, 02:04 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

It's sad that a day that is supposed to celebrate love turns into D-Day for many people. This is the time of year where many are caught cheating. Here's a story about it.

Investigators Catch Cheating Hearts On Valentine’s Day CBS Miami

I know Valentine's Day for me is tainted, even though my D-Day wasn't on this day, my fWW's affair was in full swing.
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Old 02-08-2012, 05:55 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

From a statistical standpoint, it makes sense, because cheaters would be more likely to need to make some kind of demonstrable effort on this day to their cheating partners. They would take risks they might not take on other days, and if they are trying to keep their wives deceived, and also scrambling due to weather (in some areas) and taxes and stuff like that, then they're more apt to make errors of judgement in concealment.

Imagine having to go to two different florists or make two different dining reservations and juggle two different women with a shower in between...unless you have a really bad case of the flu you're in deep trouble, and pity the cheater who ends up in an accident and in traction in a hospital room and can't reach the cell phone to delete messages. Or something along those lines.

I would imagine that cheaters really detest this holiday.
If you think of it from that viewpoint, it's at least a sort of consolation that it's a day when they need to scramble and there's probably no enjoyment in it except for the absolute deception pro's rather than the 'casual, clueless cheater' - those who get a jolly from lying and lying and deception is a need for sexual fulfilment through power over other's lives.

This would make a good dark comedy/tragedy type of movie, a PI on Valentine's Day, trying to figure out the sincere from the insincere, and dealing with his (or her) own romance. Kind of like GroundHog Day, but differently themed.
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Old 02-08-2012, 06:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

Valentine's day and Mothers day also trigger women who feel neglected to cheat. Maybe the straw that broke the camels back. Last year it was widely reported that the day after valentines and the day after mothers day were the two days when women were most likely to sign up at a cheaters website. Mnay radio stations and newspapers ran stories on this. Here is one link:

Unappreciated women are more likely to cheat the day after Mother's Day - National infidelity | Examiner.com
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Old 02-08-2012, 08:18 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

Huge trigger for me, but not my wife's affair

One of the things I discovered about my father's affair was that 3 days before my mother's death, my father took his mistress out to a restaurant on Valentine's day.
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Old 02-08-2012, 08:19 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

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It's November of 1995 and my mother has been dead since February, our business seems to be working and taking off (we're doing it out of the house and we started to look for warehouses in the area). My brother who is a math guy did the accounting on the side while he held his teaching job. He calls me up and tells me he forgot to pay the phone bill and if I could write the check and mail it. I can't find the bill in the bills due folder- I figure it must've been mixed in the house bills. I go downstairs and start looking through my father's bills. For whatever reason, my eye catches a glimpse of a weird charge on his credit card bill. It's from August (when he took a trip to Vegas for business) and the charge was for $72 for "The Chapel of Love".

"wait what?!!"

That's one of those quickie marriage places! My father has been secretly remarried less than 6 months from my mother's death! I start to scour his credit card bills and discover that he had dinner on Valentine's Day 3 days before my mother's death at an Indian restaurant. I know that the total of this bill is definitely a dinner for two. The bastard had dinner with his mistress and now wife while I sat next to her watching her die on Valentine's day. Back in February he had told me he needed a small break that day and went out to dinner- I thought nothing of it at the time and understood needing some time away after spending over a week at her side. Being Valentine's day wasn't even a consideration for me.
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Old 02-08-2012, 08:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

It's pretty tainted for me too. I kinda just go about it as simply another day. V-Day last year my husband was in full blown affair mode. He did spend the day with me, and cooked me dinner at home. What I didn't realize at that time,was that he also had V-Day with the OW. But he bought her roses and a gift. He only cooked dinner for me.

I don't even worry about it anymore. It is just another day.
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:19 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

This is going to be a tough day for me. I saw the pictures and read the emails she sent the POSM last year. While she dd not see him on Valentines Day. I know she met with him twice in the month of Feb. I know the days and I know the hotels. This is going to suck!
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:22 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

ya 1 year,11 months, and 25 days ago was d-dday...close enough though.
After almost two years ago my life changed for ever.

Man that day sucked, my daughter just turned 21 and the entire extended family met for dinner that night.
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Old 02-08-2012, 11:56 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

I never did review the phone records for valentines day but the feeling I am getting is a sick one. Last years anniversary was 60 text to OM, me none and not even a card for me.
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Old 02-08-2012, 12:13 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

Huge hugs to all of you guys Thankfully V day is not a trigger for me.
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Old 02-09-2012, 04:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Valentine's Day = D-Day For Many

My STBXW will be getting my Valentines to her next week: she'll be getting her divorce papers served to her!!!!
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