Wayward spouses, how do triggers effect you?

FourtyPlus · 02-14-2012, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morituri

Ally, there is always the 'Edit Ignore List' in the 'User CP' page. I suggest that you use it to screen out those members that you consider offer no constructive advice to you.

That only works if nobody quotes the person that is on the ignore list. You still go broke buying tons of lemons and salt.

warlock07 · 02-14-2012, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allybabe_18

I know that it makes my H wonder if I am wanting to know because I am possibly still in contact or still have feelings for him. He has every reason to not believe me because after dday1 we did stay in contact just went underground. I once randomly showed my H a text from the OM & played dumb as to hide the continued A from him. ***That is NOT the case now***

What was your line of thinking? Why did you keep in contact? Was it kind of a back up option? You know, that moment you showed him a text from OM and he believed you. What did you think immediately after?

Dexter Morgan · 02-14-2012, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beowulf

As long as Ally is up front and honest with dinger this fishing by the OM will die just like the affair. It's a natural occurrence.

I agree, but that honesty might include telling her H she is wondering if OM is hurt by their reconciliation. If I decided to reconcile with a cheater, and she told me she wonders if the OM is hurt, my first reply would be, "why do you care?"

TBT · 02-14-2012, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beowulf

Just curious but isn't there a website like TAM that separates BS and WS into different forums?

Survivinginfidelity

Dexter Morgan · 02-14-2012, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angel5112

I didn't know curiosity was a crime Dex? Or that it meant wondering meant worrying...Here is what she wrote about wondering.

See? She was WONDERING, not WORRYING.

Uh, didn't I say "wondering" in the last post? I believe I did.

Quote:

Her question was how does she deal with these thoughts and stop them from consuming her life?

And I told her to focus on her H and forget about the OM.

Quote:

If you have nothing constructive to add or offer, just leave the thread.

Sorry, I don't have to leave anything. I told her straight up what she needed to do.

Decorum · 10-21-2012, 03:30 AM

Looks like Dexter was right after all!

Shaggy · 10-21-2012, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Decorum

Looks like Dexter was right after all!

Yeah, perhaps TAM should have a tag that can be added for failed spouses like Alleybabe who are confirmed unremorseful cheaters so that future readers can be warned that they are reading the words of a unremorseful ongoing cheater.

Maybe a "confirmed cheater" mark like myth busters use when the confirm a myth?

pidge70 · 10-21-2012, 09:10 AM

TBH, I never bought her spiel. I'm sure that plenty of people probably feel the same way about me as well but, cest la vie. I do feel so bad for dinger though, although he does seem to be in a much better place now.

daggeredheart · 10-21-2012, 09:18 AM

I've seen some WS pretend to be helping their BS when in reality it's just a way to continue obsessing about the affair and AP. It's really sad for the BS who believes their partner is learning and growing into R and instead the WS is just twisted enough to keep relishing all the details in such a cruel fashion.