What a MESS I created, I cheated on my Beautiful wife !!! HELP
I am re-posting this thread here....
Where do I start! I am 30 years old with a beautiful wife who is about to give birth in the next weeks…and on top I have a handsome 3 year old son as well…and I MESSED UP!!! I cheated on my wife back in Oct with a girl from work that meant nothing to me…and now my life, my marriage and family hang on a thin line that she is holding…She has all the right in the world to throw me out, but she loves me so much and we are about to have a new baby boy born into this world aside from the 3 year old that adores me…WHAT A MESS I CREATED!!! It is all my fault, no doubt at all….I look at my sons eyes and just wonder how his life will be without a father!!! How my new baby boy will be raised without me, the father?
My wife, she doesn’t work and was so dependent on me too….I can’t lose them, I cant allow my family to be destroyed….but its not in my hands…she has the full right to leave me for what I did…I cried, apologized, everything possible….she hasn’t decided yet…
I am crying right now in the pain I feel as I saw my wife cry, hit me with anger, saying, ´why, what did I do, I love you, why why?´ Poor her, STUPID ME for making her suffer like this…We do make mistakes, but this is one that is so great and painful I am lost in a limbo…not knowing what to do.
Last night, I even spoke to my son telling him if he never saw me again…to be a great kid, listen, grow up loving God etc…as I was ready to take my life….But how could I? How could I leave them?
I need to SAVE MY FAMILY AND MARRIAGE!!!! Any of you going through this?
She found a video that I recorded of myself in the act, yesterday!!! IMAGINE!!! She is in so much pain; I really hurt her like nothing else in the world. I am a piece of ****, I know, I have no excuse for what I did…I never spoke to that girl again as she moved far away and after that one time, I felt so much quilt and never again did it….but it was with me and I acted cold with my wife as I had that quilt inside me burning me alive.
Last night I didn’t sleep nor did she, she lied in bed with our son crying as she said every time she closed her eyes she could see the images of me with another women…MAN, I can’t even imagine the PAIN she feels, I can’t and it kills me to see her suffer this way!!! I know, I should have thought of all this before I did what I did….but I fell…
She told her mom and my parents as well, devastated is what I must say…but she has the right as she needs to feel comfort from her family…not me as anything I say will be taken as a lie or not worthy, and she has the right to feel that way.
I am writing this as there must be people out there that have gone through this, going through this or other. I don’t want to lose my wife, 3 year old boy and my new born that will be here in the next days…I can’t believe how low I went, how stupid I was.