Heats of oak

ok

Heats of oak

She has been found out..I made her swear on the bible that she had not been in touch with the OM since saturday (i knew full well she had sent him an email yesterday)..she denied it still..show me the deleted items I asked her..she did and there it was..I am now sleepng away from her at least for tonight..

Eli-Zor

Think and do 180
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Complexity

I take it back then, this isn't homesickness, this is an emotional affair. I'm definitely leaning on the D card now.

Eli-Zor

One step at a time there is no rush , she is not going anywhere in a hurry.

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Heats of oak

have just told her to choose me or the OM and thats it..

Complexity

Yes issue her an ultimatum and sternly follow the 180 rule. Even if she chooses you, you have to continue with the 180 for a long time for her to understand that she can never do this again and most importantly to never take you for granted. You've already given her plenty of chances to be truthful, until recently I thought this was all innocent reminiscences

Heats of oak

She did try again telling me "You are so wrong"! "You are so wrong"!

Should I go public with it?

Beowulf

Let's see. She is having a relationship with another man that not only makes you uncomfortable but is threatening to break up your marriage and that she is either unwilling or unable to end. So how are you "so wrong?"

No, she is wrong for thinking she can have her cake and eat it too. You gave her the ultimatum. Nothing else need be said.

Shaggy

How would you go public to? At this point she's hoping if she waits you will back down.
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Heats of oak

was that a yes or a no?

Beowulf

You have to decide if she can be trusted to maintain NC with the OM on her own. If you want to give her another chance to go NC with the guy that is up to you. What are your conditions for R. Have you laid them out? You've already given her the ultimatum and she is still lying to you. Do you want to give her time to sleep on it? Give her a deadline? I'm not sure why.

I think she's already proven that she can't. And she's denying everything and trying to make you question yourself. If she doesn't start doing everything you need in order to stay with her then definitely expose to everyone you can. Let the people know you are only doing it because you have already tried reasoning with her but she is unwilling to end it. You need their help in order to save your marriage. Maybe after exposure she will see you are serious and will begin to break out of her fog.

Entropy3000

So you are wrong to make her chose?

Sure I would go public with it. Why not?

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Complexity

Wrong about what? she's been lying time and time again. Tell her you have no faith in her words any more.

It's up to you whether you want to go public or not, me personally I wouldn't want to.

Complexity

any update heart of oak?