Infidelity or just innocent - Page 5
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Infidelity or just innocent

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Like Tree45Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-12-2012, 03:29 AM   #61 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,619
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heats of oak View Post
am reading and putting all into practice..step by step and yes I am in a state of turmoil, want to hold her, but know that would just play into her hands..she told me yesterday that she had been in contact with the OM for around 6days before I found out...which I doubt and would imagine it to be somewhere around 2-3wks maybe more...
I agree it will have been a lot longer, typically a wayward will try make contact when they get the first opportunity. In your case sometime next week when your at work , expect this, make sure the keylogger is working. I would be surprised if she does not at least try. If she suspects your tracking the laptop she may go to a friend to use their equipment or if she has a iPhone or such like with Internet access.

Whatever you do don't get paranoid and look for things that are not there as it adds to your pain. Today you know she was engaged in a long distance EA , you caught her , you can forecast her next steps . You have a plan to follow, part of that is to be less of a giver , get her out to work and balance the household tasks.
Posted via Mobile Device
Eli-Zor is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:35 AM   #62 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 86
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Thank you..I am at work now..work almost everyday..so she has time to do what she pleases on the pc..
Heats of oak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 03:37 AM   #63 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 10,120
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Do you have a VAR in place at home to hear what she is saying on the phone or Skype?
Posted via Mobile Device
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 03:41 AM   #64 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 86
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

No..we don't..I think that the keylogger I installed will capture all voice comms..she did ask me this morning (as I left for work) if I was going to work now..and that I should have a good day..
Heats of oak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 03:54 AM   #65 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,619
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

The var is a must have tool
Posted via Mobile Device
Eli-Zor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 03:55 AM   #66 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 10,120
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Are you sure the keylogger captures voice? Many just take pictures of the screen or record the keys pressed.
Posted via Mobile Device
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 03:55 AM   #67 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 10,120
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Get a var for home.
Posted via Mobile Device
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 03:57 AM   #68 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 86
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Last night I had a couple of beers and she mentioned that I would be all lovey dovey in the morning and that I would regret..have not done anything like that..have not ignored, but have not showed her the affection that she would normally expect after a tiff and she looks very solem and upset..has not been near the laptop as much as she would do normally..
Heats of oak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 03:58 AM   #69 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 86
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaggy View Post
Are you sure the keylogger captures voice? Many just take pictures of the screen or record the keys pressed.
Posted via Mobile Device
I think it just captures images and key strokes..just had another look at it..
Heats of oak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 06:18 AM   #70 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 86
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Just checked the keylogger and bingo! she had sent this OM another email telling him that I had sent an email to him telling him to stay away and that he should ignore at and not to reply to it and to not reply the email she was sending either..is she guilty?...I confronted her about it (I know) and true to from denied any wrong doing and that she does not see why she had to leave communications with him as he is just a friend. She claimed if I loved her I would believe her..she flipped again..told her that was that and to make arrangements to leave..I have contacted solicitors and asked for a meeting as the kids will end up in South America...I am screwed!!
Heats of oak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 06:20 AM   #71 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 86
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heats of oak View Post
Just checked the keylogger and bingo! she had sent this OM another email telling him that I had sent an email to him telling him to stay away and that he should ignore at and not to reply to it and to not reply the email she was sending either..is she guilty?...I confronted her about it (I know) and true to from denied any wrong doing and that she does not see why she had to leave communications with him as he is just a friend. She claimed if I loved her I would believe her..she flipped again..told her that was that and to make arrangements to leave..I have contacted solicitors and asked for a meeting as the kids will end up in South America...I am screwed!!
Heats of oak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 06:37 AM   #72 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,619
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

Firstly your not screwed. You ensure the children's passports are secured and if you are concerned she will up and leave with the children you engage a lawyer pronto and have him legally prevent their travel if that means you file for formal seperation you do so.


Next you contact her parents and tell them you are seeking support in saving your marriage as your wife is in an affair with OM , name him.

If you have access to his Facebook page read the newbie thread and follow the exposure advice therein.

At this moment be calm , your wife's reaction is expected. Avoid relationship talk do not make big decisions now unless your wife is going to leave , if she does it is without the children.
Posted via Mobile Device
Eli-Zor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 06:43 AM   #73 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 86
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

So she was again telling me lies?..after telling me she would contact him again..I love her dearly and want to work this out. She is far away from home and loves to gossip, she has other male friends and does not have nor has ever requested exchange skype details..I am really trying to understand her point too...but it is hard if she is lying to me..
Heats of oak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 07:07 AM   #74 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,619
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heats of oak View Post
So she was again telling me lies?..after telling me she would contact him again..I love her dearly and want to work this out. She is far away from home and loves to gossip, she has other male friends and does not have nor has ever requested exchange skype details..I am really trying to understand her point too...but it is hard if she is lying to me..
There is nothing to understand , waywards don't think of the harm they are causing. A spouse behaving normally would not have a second thought and would drop the friend. Your wife is behaving exactly to the affair script. Get your thoughts down , call her family and let them know, be clear she is hiding and lying out the contact and you are seeking their help in supporting your marriage.

Any normal person can see this is impacting your marriage.
Posted via Mobile Device
Eli-Zor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2012, 07:16 AM   #75 (permalink)
Member
 
Stonewall's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,645
Default Re: Infidelity or just innocent

I am a huge advocate of total transparency. My wife has total access to all my stuff and I hers. It breeds trust and allays fears.
Stonewall is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
b!tchy or innocent? Me'N'My'Girl The Men's Clubhouse 7 07-13-2010 09:34 AM
b!tchy or innocent? Me'N'My'Girl Sex in Marriage 4 04-05-2010 09:11 AM
How can I get my wife less innocent marriedguy Sex in Marriage 30 02-20-2010 07:53 AM
Is this innocent? 2000K&A General Relationship Discussion 5 02-26-2009 11:56 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:34 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage