Re: Infidelity or just innocent
Okay, everybody needs to slow the F down. I thought this was a pro marriage forum. All I am hearing is how this woman is for sure cheating, in the fog, is playing mind games, manipulating, etc, etc.
None of us know if any of that is true or false. Some of you are giving good advice here, but others are ready to throw stones at yet another witch, and we don't know much at all.
Look, Heats of Oak, stop contacting the OM. It's always a bad tactic. He won't listen to you - only her. Deal with your wife only. You've already laid down the gauntlet. She claims the relationship is innocent, but that isn't what matters. What matters is that the relationship bothers you.
Here's what you do. You say, "Honey, look. I know I may be coming across harsh right now, and your relationship with X might very well be innocent. But it still really bothers me, and given what's gone down I am having trouble trusting you. I want to stay married to you and continue our life together, but I can't do that when you are having secret conversations with another man. I have to draw the line for the sake of myself and our marriage. So, even if nothing naughty is going on, I need you to cut ties with him. Hopefully you can respect my feelings and value our marriage more than your conversations with X. So what's it going to be, Doll?"
If she values your marriage enough, she shouldn't hesitate after this plea from you. She might get defensive, but if she does, you just say, "Honey, I understand this might just be an innocent friendship. But I don't care. This is how it has to be. It bothers me that much. So, whaddya say?"