My Husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We met in high school aand stayed in touch. We have two children together a 3 yr old son and a 2yr old daughter. We have been having problems with fighting over money, friends due to him wanting to go out and party, me having control issues, and discipline. I feel like I pushed him away and didn't respect him, I made it hard for him to.live with me, I didn't even like myself.
In October he decided he wanted to end things. I did exactly what I wasn't supposed to do, begged and pleaded with him pushing him even further away. He was still in the house but made it clear that he was done. He stopped coming home staying out and partying. On Thanksgiving he moved out saying he just needed sometime to clear his head and think. The beginning of December I found out he had started a relationship with another girl and that she was 6wks pregnant. They are now living together. My husband says he doesn't want to be with anyone right now and that was the original plan until she ended up pregnant. Now he says he doesn't want to end it bc he doesn't want to be the heartless guy that kicks out a pregnant girl.
He tells me that he needs to see that I've changed for the long term but if he's really interested in getting back together I say he needs to end it with the other girl and he says he can't.
I may sound stupid but I love this man and want to work things out. Yes, I know that he cheated and is having a baby with a mother woman. I know that its going to be hard work and we will always have a reminder of what happened. But, I love him and I know deep down he loves me too, I just don't know how to get him away from her to be able to work on us.
I have started to love myself again, taking care of me and am happier than I have been in awhile. But I know I want him back and that we once were so happy and I can't help but have hope that we can be together again. Please help me. Any advice you can give is much appreciated.
Couple thoughts... You're probably better off with one thread, instead of 3. That way things won't get all confused.
Second, it's interesting that your husband doesn't mind being the guy that abandoned his wife and two kids, but won't kick out the pregnant girl. Kinda says what his decision is, regardless what his mouth says.
Third, have you outed his affair yet? I take it this girl is single, but do your husband's parents know? Any other influential people in his life who might talk some sense into him?
My Husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We met in high school aand stayed in touch. We have two children together a 3 yr old son and a 2yr old daughter. We have been having problems with fighting over money, friends due to him wanting to go out and party, me having control issues, and discipline. I feel like I pushed him away and didn't respect him, I made it hard for him to.live with me, I didn't even like myself.
Go for counseling at the earliest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leaster928
In October he decided he wanted to end things. I did exactly what I wasn't supposed to do, begged and pleaded with him pushing him even further away. He was still in the house but made it clear that he was done. He stopped coming home staying out and partying. On Thanksgiving he moved out saying he just needed sometime to clear his head and think. The beginning of December I found out he had started a relationship with another girl and that she was 6wks pregnant. They are now living together. My husband says he doesn't want to be with anyone right now and that was the original plan until she ended up pregnant. Now he says he doesn't want to end it bc he doesn't want to be the heartless guy that kicks out a pregnant girl.
Is it legally allowed in US to impregnate another woman while married or without divorcing? Consult a lawyer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leaster928
He tells me that he needs to see that I've changed for the long term but if he's really interested in getting back together I say he needs to end it with the other girl and he says he can't.
I may sound stupid but I love this man and want to work things out. Yes, I know that he cheated and is having a baby with a mother woman. I know that its going to be hard work and we will always have a reminder of what happened. But, I love him and I know deep down he loves me too, I just don't know how to get him away from her to be able to work on us.
Sorry to say that it looks the chances of recovery is rather dim.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leaster928
I have started to love myself again, taking care of me and am happier than I have been in awhile. But I know I want him back and that we once were so happy and I can't help but have hope that we can be together again. Please help me. Any advice you can give is much appreciated.
Thats fine you want him back, just don't let him know that. Poeple want what they can't have. Go dark, distance your self, and soon he will be chasing after you instead of you chasing after him.
Giving him the perception that you are moving on with out him,it may make him think twice in that you won't always be around. That is exactly what you are showing him with your current behavior, and he has no reason to put in any effort in making a change b/c he has your number and knows you will always be there when he want to get away from the OW.
I get it, you love him and being second choice isn't that bad for you, but just stop letting him know that!
You said "We have been having problems with fighting over money, friends due to him wanting to go out and party, me having control issues, and discipline."
Could you please explain these a bit more.
For example how much was he wanting to go out without you and party with friends? Did it get to me more and more over time? I'm thinking that you might not have been in the wrong here and not controlling if you did not want your husband out with friends and partying while you were left home with the children. How many hours a week did your husband spend with you, just you, doing date-like things? How many hours a week did he spend partying without you?
I don't know why you have three threads started all asking the same thing but I am sure you will get the same answers on all three. He's a user and a cheater and you'd be best off to dump his sorry a**. The line of BS he's feeding you is only meant to ease his guilty conscience. In a year or two he will do the same thing to the pregnant girl he is so worried about now. "pezzo di merda"
Badly need advice, please help... 
