drug him, duct tape his mouth and put him in a bear suit, bind his hands so he can't get out of the suit and leave him in the woods.
Boy do I need that type of humor today. lol
Thank you AR. Yeah that'd be a sight to see. I have my bucket list prepped for the next 6 months. Everything from saving for my first and last to getting my driver's license back (I let it expire, stupidest thing I ever did besides marry this jerk off I'm with).
The only thing that hurts most is that our kids end up suffering more for this than I ever will. I'll get over it, the kids won't. They never do (I'm a child of divorced parents, father was an addict and a cheater - for that matter so was his father).
I'm not going to make the same mistakes his mother and my mother made. I'm not staying in a crap relationship just for the kids. What will that teach them if I do. Especially my girls, it teaches than to let a man walk all over them, blame them for it and then some. It teaches my boys that they can walk all over a woman and blame them for it and then some. Not a lesson that I want to teach my children at all.
You misread. I wasn't clear though.
The woman who is blocked has never done anything wrong (that woman who did is long gone over a year now). The woman who's boyfriend is asking why she's blocked was just a friend and believe me I know it for fact, she was never part of the group of infidelity loving POS who hid their activities and helped each other do so as well.
Yes, clearer now. Is there a reason why he felt the need to block this other guy's "girlfriend"? Either way, he was disrespectful to you to even say that about you.
He cheats and has the nerve to say you are insecure? Uh, no, it is you being someone that expects not to take any more of his crap.
Like you said, he created this "monster". Although you are not a monster for expecting him to act like a husband.
I'm the one who sifted through his list at his request to get rid of anyone I felt inappropriate. It was me, under his request, that defriended and blocked her.
That makes his words even worse doesn't it.
Well, I suppose he could have told the truth and simply said that she was blocked because you didn't want her friended.
But his elaboration on words is what indicated his disrespect.
If I had gotten caught cheating and my wife/gf didn't want me friending certain people (although I don't do FB), then I'd be explaining that it isn't a good idea to converse with certain people if I want to make things work with my SO.
Thats what a man would do if he respected the woman he betrayed.
Well, his reaction was a remorseful apology and a commitment to doing the marriage builders stuff with me (something he hasn't committed to before) and we sat and talked for about 3 or 4 hours.
I've already filled out the emotional needs sheets and love buster sheets from marriage builders. He'll be sitting down with his set either tomorrow or Wednesday. He doesn't want to go to a counsellor but I can see why I tried 4 sessions with one and it made me feel worse rather than better.
He is finally talking about things that I need him to, like his needs and desires (ie: what he needs from me). I'm kind of reserved and cautious though because we've been here similarly and it's improved a few weeks then dropped off so my ultimatum stands.
For the first time I've actually said out loud to him I was unhappy and miserable. He got some things off his chest too that were bothering him, even acknowledged some things he'd noticed (my intense hatred of that Adele song scaring the crap out of him and making him nervous to bring up things for instance).
For the first time he actually expressed emotion, talked about his own triggers (what I wanted in the first place), acknowledged his infantile immaturity behaviors, even said that fighting me for removing certain people and yoville was stupidity on his part...
FINALLY! I'm still cautious. Playing it by ear but sticking to my ultimatum that things need to change or I need to leave. We'll see what goes on day by day...moment by moment. No more Miss Nice Girl...
I do have to admit, I have as hard a time talking things out as he does (I'm addressing the FB as a medium of communication btw, email, letter, FB all the same right) because growing up we were both taught to cry publically is weak. I think more so myself than him because of my father and his infantile immaturity as a father (I have father issues, I admit that freely - another post in another section on here).
He even took to my suggestion that he should be here at TAM, if not as a registered member to post, at least to read and gather up good advice and see both sides of the coin. What he should be doing, what he needs to do and what the common is in these situations.
However, I could always take him out into the bush and chase him down with a 30 odd 6 like we do hunting for bear in the fall.
I can just picture myself with this maniacal grin from ear to ear with a 30 odd in my hands running like a banshee through the bush while he screams and begs for mercy....
Uhm...was that typed out loud? Of course I would never resort to violence, not to say I can't fantasize about it though right.
The first month of this BS I had a dream about sitting in a tree in the bush with a riffle right behind our house and blowing his head off with it. Literally dreamed about killing him. Obviously I would not resort to such things. I'm not a violent person, my philosophies in life are "harm none". I would never be able to hurt someone as I've been hurt or to physically be violent toward someone no matter what they have done or said to me.
LOL...if something else should happen and you slip up you can say you were with me, I'll be glad to cover for you. My ex spent so much time having online sex that he developed carpal tunnel...
Close one Facebook open another secret Facebook be wary of that . Some in other threads have mentioned this. He has to go a long way before you TRUST him again, keep your guard up and do build up your account so you do not have to deal with this S**t if he does falter.
Not on Facebook so don't know all the lingo for it so I may be wrong.
do you have a keylogger in place and does he know its there?
Yes and he did but not now. I have all his passwords to everything and he has encouraged me to use them. There is definitely nothing going on (I have a bachelors in computers). That much he has complied to, no cell phones (we don't own one), no money to travel and only two hotels in this town. Besides, when we're not together he's watching the kids, with our male neighbor or with me.
This is a small town where everything gets back to everyone so no physical infidelity in real life. He got rid of Yoville, we don't use 3d chat anymore, he never clears his history (on purpose for my benefit). He has been open with all online stuff just dumb as rocks when it comes to understanding the repercussions and damage he's done...