It seems that my brain now actively looks at others, men and women but mostly men, with an eye to finding suspicious things. Co workers, people I don't know, whoever. I constantly find things that in my mind mean they could be cheating. I don't even really think about it - it's just there. Like right now, there's a guy outside my office window sitting in his car texting. He's been there for about ten minutes. It is not warm outside yet he sits in there. I assume he works somewhere in the building but I don't know. Why else would he sit in his car texting if he wasn't trying to hide it??
Or my neighbour. He spends a lot of time on his vehicles - he has three - and the way I hear him talk to his wife is reprehensible. The other day I spied him at the liquor store, driving his brand new Hummer by himself. He's told me he doesn't drink. So who was he buying the booze for? In my mind it's his lover.
It's kind of comical actually. My husband will tell me something about a coworker and my conclusion is that his coworker is cheating. My husband tells me all the time I'm weird like that.
I guess it's kind of like, when you're pregnant, you see pregnant women everywhere? Except that they really ARE pregnant
LOL. I agree. I've got an EA going on in my office. The guy literally comes up to her desk at least 4-5 times to visit, plus lunches and breaks. It's really uncomfortable actually - listening to the giggly school girl routine, while he stands over her at her desk whispering in her ear. Ugh!!!
I also notice a lot of people 'parked'...but then, they just might be parked!
As for your texter, maybe he's just being smart and not texting and driving? Benefit of the doubt and all that crap...LOL...
Since we've got at least a little levity to this thread. Just this morning I got a call on my cell as I was pulling up to work - a call I needed to take. So I sat in my car and talked to this guy for about 10 minutes - all the while thinking - this is what I used to to do with my AP - sit in the car parked outside of work while we wrapped up a conversation. You never know.
Oh, and then there's the ex coworker who, right after my first D day, he left the company and I was cleaning his computer out and found a huge stash of internet history where he'd been surfing dating sites at work. Triggered me hugely but pissed me right off too. The guy and his young wife had just had a baby.
Just another bonus I get for being part of the club no one wants to belong to I guess
I see it too, I never even used to notice women hitting on me because I was oblivious and in love with my wife for 24 years. After she cheated on me and left , I now I see it everywhere.
I was at a restaurant with group of friends last week and a woman across from us was giving me the "smoldering look" while sitting next to her husband. It made me very angry, it was all I could do not to give her the finger. Instead I just looked right at her and gave my head a " You're disgusting" shake "No".
Due to my husband's behavior and attitude while he was cheating, whenever I see a man act like an a** toward his wife, I want to tell her to check his phone and email. That is how cheaters talk to their wives. I also read posts from women about husbands with short tempers who either throw tantrums or shut down when a problem or argument arises and my first thought is that he is cheating. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't look at people with that eye. What about good people? There are a lot of good people around. While we may be a little more observant about signs of infidelity, let us train ourselves to be normal.
What I think about is what I can do to prove that I am doing what I say.....I guess so that he will do the same.
For example, I had surgery two weeks ago. I had an appt yesterday with the surgeon who then decided that more doses of antibiotics intravenously would be worth it. That meant an impromptu hospital stay. So I called my guy at the hospital and hoped that he could hear the other people in the background.
But for some I guess an unplanned night in the hospital would be a great excuse to facilitate hanging out with your AP.
What I think about is what I can do to prove that I am doing what I say.....I guess so that he will do the same.
For example, I had surgery two weeks ago. I had an appt yesterday with the surgeon who then decided that more doses of antibiotics intravenously would be worth it. That meant an impromptu hospital stay. So I called my guy at the hospital and hoped that he could hear the other people in the background.
But for some I guess an unplanned night in the hospital would be a great excuse to facilitate hanging out with your AP.
For some, yes, bu lso a silly thing to try and do, since said H/W might just pop in for a visit at the hospital? Kinda hard to explain, no, if you're not there???
For some, yes, bu lso a silly thing to try and do, since said H/W might just pop in for a visit at the hospital? Kinda hard to explain, no, if you're not there???
It depends. 8pm is the end of visiting hours and I called him after that.
The other thing to remember here is that we also want partners who make it easy for us to believe things. I think it would be really awful if a partner felt that they had to make a inconvenient visit to the hospital just to prove something.
And I have to admit one of the things that annoyed me about my guy in the early days is that one time he told me that he was planning a trip with a friend. But no description of who that friend was. Turned out it was male friend that he had always planned to go with. But I did see an e-mail between him and his EA in which he gave her all the details she needed if she just wanted to show up......it was a music festival and she was independent enough to travel by herself.
I always look upon that incident that he was trying to set the baseline in how he planned to tell me things. ie Every time he did something without me it was always going to be with some unnamed "friend" and hopefully, just the times that I investigate, it will be with a male friend and now, why could I possibly be upset with that.
My hubby just outright lied about where he was going to be. God, I was so naive!!!! Curling - every Monday, except not during Christmas break, which I hadn't clued into in ten years. Used as an excuse. Meeting up for work team building supper - work function actually happened but he had declined.
But I guess they all do that, of course.
It does have me jaded though. When I am feeling particularly triggery, I do things like look around the grocery store at my fellow shoppers and wonder to myself, how many of them are cheating RIGHT NOW? How many are being cheated on and are oblivious? It's not my usual state of mind, but it's there.
7Likes
Now I see cheaters everywhere 
