She clearly said she will always love him, wait for him and when the day comes she'll run away with him. Be glad you found it much ealry in your marriage.
aug:
Yes I don't know what is the cause behind her current situation but i strongly feel it's more out of being treated and ridiculed like a social outcast than it's truly about me moving out.
Plus if she had really loved me or had cared about me she would have stopped her family from framing charges of dowry .In India judicial procedure is extremely slow hence it will take some good amount of time before I get my divorce plus with the criminal charges leveled against me will play a huge part in the divorce proceedings .I might be staring at some jail sentence if I get convicted .
GTA, it seems you are being rather impulsive, so perhaps there is more that you haven't revealed?
Look, I'm also Indian, but from South Africa. Similar social conventions apply, so I understand where you are coming from.
Your claim that her current health issues are only because she doesn't want to be a divorcee doesn't make any sense. If that was the case she & her parents would have done anything & everything to repair the marriage, just to save face in public. They would not have pressed charges reg the dowry.
The email she sent was prior to marriage, & people change their minds as time goes on. She didn't have a crystal ball. How could she see into the future to know that after she married you, she would feel even more deeply for you than the ex. I'm sure when she wrote the email to the BFF she probably meant it. But now that she's experienced life with you she's realised that it surpases any experiences she had before.
You've done your due diligence- you've checked using a key logger, spoke to her, & now you're seeing her reactions to you leaving- what more do you need to see that your wife has invested greatly into this marriage?
However, ifyou are just looking for an excuse to get divorced, then yes an email written 6 months BEFORE she even had a chance to live with you & build a life with you can definately be seen as a justification for divorce. Under the right circumstances people can justify any behaviour. I don't think you should take your marriage vows so lightly, you did promise to work through good & bad times in front of GOD- so do you really think that an old email is good enough justification?
GTA, it seems you are being rather impulsive, so perhaps there is more that you haven't revealed?
Look, I'm also Indian, but from South Africa. Similar social conventions apply, so I understand where you are coming from.
Your claim that her current health issues are only because she doesn't want to be a divorcee doesn't make any sense. If that was the case she & her parents would have done anything & everything to repair the marriage, just to save face in public. They would not have pressed charges reg the dowry.
The email she sent was prior to marriage, & people change their minds as time goes on. She didn't have a crystal ball. How could she see into the future to know that after she married you, she would feel even more deeply for you than the ex. I'm sure when she wrote the email to the BFF she probably meant it. But now that she's experienced life with you she's realised that it surpases any experiences she had before.
You've done your due diligence- you've checked using a key logger, spoke to her, & now you're seeing her reactions to you leaving- what more do you need to see that your wife has invested greatly into this marriage?
However, ifyou are just looking for an excuse to get divorced, then yes an email written 6 months BEFORE she even had a chance to live with you & build a life with you can definately be seen as a justification for divorce. Under the right circumstances people can justify any behaviour. I don't think you should take your marriage vows so lightly, you did promise to work through good & bad times in front of GOD- so do you really think that an old email is good enough justification?
Hi I am married to my wife for 2-1/2 years but been with her for 5-1/2 years.Before marrying my wife during our engagement I had asked my wife , that if she still held a torch for some by-gone love someone she still had feelings for she can backout and not keep me around as some sort of backup plan bcoz I wanted sum1 who really wanted to be with me because she really loved me and saw a future with me and not as some sort of compromise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GTA06
I further would like to add some info that the letter to her BFF was written around 6 months prior to our marriage.The account I read the letter from is seldom used by her .
6 months before the marriage she wrote that email. They were already 2 1/2 years into their relationship by that time. And she was still regretting her previous love of 4 years long and wanted to go back to it.
It seems to me that when she was about to marry someone, that longing for the previous love should not be there.
blissful:
Charges against me are a way to force me back into the marriage.
Her family has already made threats against me and my family in particular against my sister.Currently I am out on interim bail till charges aginst me are proved.
I still do love my wife but the thing is that I was and still am shaken by what I read.
I never was looking to bail out of the marriage and what really surprises me is response here is similar to what I am facing IRL.
I really am getting hammered from every where.
Man up brother, your getting in your own way here.
You got blindsided, and today you mention you do love your wife so suck it up and do what you need to do to make a wrong a right.
What I mean is I get that you got butt hurt about the emails, but now I see you over reacted, and now love your chick, so do her right and man up and take some crap and deal with this sh!t.
It's kind of funny what we do for love. Some guys get scared and quit, some guys get pissed off and fight..... so what say you... brother, are you a fighter or a quitter? forgive her and she will forgive you for leaving her
I just want to put an update:
I called my wife few minutes back and told her everything how I felt.
I made it clear that those emails clearly punched a whole in my heart and in the belief that our marriage was without any baggage from previous relationships.I am not trying to negotiate a way to drop the charges against me since I know they can't prove a thing against me .But if she is willing to talk and meet me and discuss where and how we went wrong then I am all ears.
We have decided to meet tonight in the presence of her sister at my apartment .Let's see how it goes.
In the mean time can any help out as to how proceed questioning her?????????
I just want to put an update:
I called my wife few minutes back and told her everything how I felt.
I made it clear that those emails clearly punched a whole in my heart and in the belief that our marriage was without any baggage from previous relationships.I am not trying to negotiate a way to drop the charges against me since I know they can't prove a thing against me .But if she is willing to talk and meet me and discuss where and how we went wrong then I am all ears.
We have decided to meet tonight in the presence of her sister at my apartment .Let's see how it goes.
In the mean time can any help out as to how proceed questioning her?????????
Why don't you just talk to her. Tell her about the effects the email 6 months before you were married has on you. I don't thing an question and answer session is needed in your case. Just have a heart to heart and hopefully you and her will be honest and open with each other. Being honest and open can/will cause pain -- but I believe that would be the first step for you two.
Discuss everything. Tell your heart, wait for explanations. Let her explain herself. Does she still carry a torch for the lost love? Will be like this forever?
Leave no stone unturned.
GTA, let me get this straight. Six month before you were married, she sent an email to her friend saying she still had the hots for an old boyfriend. Now, thirty six month later you figure what she had said, is still valid today. My question is this--how much time would have to pass, in your opinion, before her statement was no longer a deal breaker? What if the email was nine months before you were married, or twelve months, or twenty four months. What's you statute of limitations on this thing? Are you the first person she slept with? (that's a rhetorical question. I'm not expecting you to answer)
Boy you have created a mess for yourself.....pride and impulse can be very destructive. You took old information and applied it to your present life and acted as a child. Your wife express doubts before your marriage in the form of holding onto an old love - she chose to live a life with you - she expressed her love and you walk away.
You either have to follow through with the divorce and let karma (Western understanding) bite you in the but OR you fix this with your wife. Posted via Mobile Device
Boy you have created a mess for yourself.....pride and impulse can be very destructive. You took old information and applied it to your present life and acted as a child. Your wife express doubts before your marriage in the form of holding onto an old love - she chose to live a life with you - she expressed her love and you walk away.
You either have to follow through with the divorce and let karma (Western understanding) bite you in the but OR you fix this with your wife. Posted via Mobile Device
BEFORE MARRIAGE she was asked if she had feelings for her ex and she answered no. That means she lied because she was already conscious what she was saying.
Eventhough the email was found 6 months after marriage, still it's not sufficient to change feelings about someone you really loved in the past.
So she married him out of no other choice, not out of love.
How could he put up with that?
There's nothing to fix. She loves her ex, not her husband and probably she'll never love him. So what should have he waited for?
__________________ Shaggy: Men of integrity don't have affairs. They don't have affairs not because there aren't other wonderful women out there besides their wives, they don't have affairs because as men of integrity they choose not to.
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Re: Don't Know what to do ????? 
