And that`s just fine snowflake but please don`t be niave about it.
Your trust in him will not return quickly nor will it return because you`re "trying" to trust him.
The trust will return through actual verification and an attitude of remorse from your husband.
Trusting him right now is the worst mistake you can make.
Taking the first steps towards rebuilding the trust is what you have to do and you can`t do that until the affair has been stopped for sure.
Ask him who she is.
I don`t see the problem with this.
You need to find out who she is and who her husband is if she has one.
This is your best bet of stopping the affair.
All I know is her name ,that she is not from my country ,and that she is not married .
I do know where they met online .
I am not a member of that social network .(its not face book)
I had thought of joining just to spy on her but I have not done so .
I only keep pushing the point because I've rarely if ever seen an affair stopped by asking for it to stop.
Once the betrayed discovers the affair the cheater will take it underground unless the betrayed takes positive action to kill it.
Such action includes..
Exposure (telling the spouse of the affair partner or family of the cheater)
Divorce papers (Many cheaters don`t take their betrayed spouses threats seriously until they actually see them going through with it.)
Separating with intent to divorce (Remove the cheater from the household)
All I know is her name ,that she is not from my country ,and that she is not married .
I do know where they met online .
I am not a member of that social network .(its not face book)
I had thought of joining just to spy on her but I have not done so .
Is your husband still a member of this social network?
A good boundary for reconciliation would be that he no longer has access to online social networks.
Do you have the passwords to his e-mail and online accounts?
this is also a good boundary considering where his cheating started.
You can trust him again but he has to go out of his way to show you remorse and transparency.
I only keep pushing the point because I've rarely if ever seen an affair stopped by asking for it to stop.
Once the betrayed discovers the affair the cheater will take it underground unless the betrayed takes positive action to kill it.
Such action includes..
Exposure (telling the spouse of the affair partner or family of the cheater)
Divorce papers (Many cheaters don`t take their betrayed spouses threats seriously until they actually see them going through with it.)
Separating with intent to divorce (Remove the cheater from the household)
She is single
I don't wish a divorce though I did threaten
I thought of leaving but he asked me to stay
Is your husband still a member of this social network?
A good boundary for reconciliation would be that he no longer has access to online social networks.
He deleted the account
Do you have the passwords to his e-mail and online accounts?
pretty much
this is also a good boundary considering where his cheating started.
You can trust him again but he has to go out of his way to show you remorse and transparency.
seems to have shown remorse
How is his attitude about the situation?
While on the one hand you don't trust him, you want to trust and work on your marriage as well. This is what people in this forum are pointing out. Okay?
Allow yourself some time to grasp this. If you don't want to take decisions (I see that you have already given him ultimatums) in a rush, wait and observe.
We also see that you have really lost the trust. So, wait and see if trust comes in.....
Okay thanks I was just kind of shocked it was happening so quick .Maybe for guys it can ,I guess me thinking like a woman for me it would take time lots of time .
I did tell him to end it all signs point to that it has .
I am just really wishing I could find out about the OW .She did send one more email I saw it and I said she didn't want it to be over but he deleted it without replying .I know because I was watching .
My wife started an EA in three days in 2010. FB friend request. As per our agreement I check out her FB friend requests and she mine. The OM seemed ok, married, children, church going, and it was because "they play the same game". Within three days she was in love and sex texting the OM like crazy for weeks on end. All it took was the OM to say, "You are pretty". I busted it up at the end of May 2010.
Fast forward to July 2011. Same thing except this one went PA because the OM was local.
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This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
Wow okay I am just kind of floored .When we were dating he did not say the I love you stuff till we had been dating exclusively for 3 months .
This is what still HURTS Majorly 3 days and for me 3 months ....
and he saw me in person every day ,not some picture of me from some far away location ...
Wow okay I am just kind of floored .When we were dating he did not say the I love you stuff till we had been dating exclusively for 3 months .
This is what still HURTS Majorly 3 days and for me 3 months ....
and he saw me in person every day ,not some picture of me from some far away location ...
3 days on good ole 'Fantasy island" where they project only positive things about themselves, no flaws, no burbing, not thier true seleves, the stuff dreams are made of and of course thats all it is, a big dream world..they just dont know it...YET!!!
3 days on good ole 'Fantasy island" where they project only positive things about themselves, no flaws, no burbing, not thier true seleves, the stuff dreams are made of and of course thats all it is, a big dream world..they just dont know it...YET!!!
Do you think he critizied me to her ? I mean he blamed me for him doing it ..He says its because I got mad and acted like a child some times .Funny cause he did that also but him doing it its like no I am doing it right your the one doing it wrong .
Do you think he critizied me to her ? I mean he blamed me for him doing it ..He says its because I got mad and acted like a child some times .Funny cause he did that also but him doing it its like no I am doing it right your the one doing it wrong .
Who knows, if he critizied you... he blamed you because thats what they do, theres no rhyme or reason for it, it's called blame shifting, so he wont be accountable for his actions,he's the one acting like a child, instead of trying to communicate with you, whats he do instead?...
Who knows, if he critizied you... he blamed you because thats what they do, theres no rhyme or reason for it, it's called blame shifting, so he wont be accountable for his actions,he's the one acting like a child, instead of trying to communicate with you, whats he do instead?...
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Re: Hurt by an EA 
